I Need Help! - Page 3

KSUViolet06 · #31 10-04-2009, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

A sorority is not a panacea for fixing what's going on inside.

Yep.

Joining a sorority is not going to be an automatic fix for not being happy with your current friend group (or not being happy with yourself).

agzg · #32 10-04-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

I think the thing that I'm not representing well is how small my school is. I could honestly name everyone in my major, and it's the biggest major in school. And when I sit around in the cafeteria or food court, I could probably name at least two or three people at every table, even if its people that I don't even really know. EVERYONE knows EVERYONE here.

My school was smaller than yours, also private catholic, and was originally set up to funnel kids from ONE preparatory school through college.

We still didn't all love DMB, were all unique, and often disagreed completely on things like music, TV shows, clothing styles, etc.

I don't doubt that you at least know of most of the greeks on your campus. Before I joined (as a sophomore) I pretty much could put a face with an organization. It was cliquey. Fortunately, I was able to have my friends that I mocked sorority girls with and keep them even after I joined. If your friends have a problem, they suck.

JuliaNJ · #33 10-04-2009, 10:23 PM

Well, here's a question then:

What do you guys get being our of joining a sorority? What do you think I should expect if I end up pledging?

agzg · #34 10-04-2009, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Well, here's a question then:

What do you guys get being our of joining a sorority? What do you think I should expect if I end up pledging?

That depends entirely on the chapters at your school and you. Everyone's experience is different.

tld221 · #35 10-04-2009, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bostongreek

Stop trying to be a victim, for one. Your life is not a 90's college based movie and the sororities are not the stereotyped antagonists.

you know?! i was like DMB, seriously? though they are pretty timeless, between the music choice, and clothes description, i was like, can someone turn down the Nirvana on this post?

KSUViolet06 · #36 10-04-2009, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Well, here's a question then:

What do you guys get being out of joining a sorority? What do you think I should expect if I end up pledging?

That's hard to answer. Everyone gets something different out of it, and everyone's new member (pledging) period is different (every chapter's is different).

AZTheta · #37 10-04-2009, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

you know?! i was like DMB, seriously? though they are pretty timeless, between the music choice, and clothes description, i was like, can someone turn down the Nirvana on this post?

Perfect.

Miss Julia, try "search" re: benefits of sororities. Then come back after you have read and done some research.

again, good luck on your journey.

JuliaNJ · #38 10-04-2009, 11:09 PM

I found this right away on Suite101.com. This is exactly what I want right now. We don't really have sorority houses here (urban campus) but everything else is exactly what I need.

Fun. Want to fill up your social schedule? Join a fraternity or sorority and you’ll have more social events than you’ll ever be able to attend. When will you ever have a chance in your life to have this much fun?
Friendship and community. Even though college campuses are full of people, they can be very lonely places when you don’t know anyone and haven’t found your niche. Greek life provides an easy way to meet people, make friends, and join a community. And membership to a Greek organization is for life, so you’ll always have a network of friends to fall back upon. Many campuses offer ethnic or religious fraternities and sororities, which can be a great way to find a comfortable home on a big campus.
Housing. Dormitory space and off-campus housing can be a scarce on many college campuses, so membership to a fraternity or sorority that provides an actual house can be a big advantage. On some campuses, the Greeks have the nicest housing around!
Networking. When you’re looking for a job a few years from now, your skill set often is not as important as your connections. This is unfortunate, but it’s a reality. Greek membership is a great way to connect with people, both in your pledge class and through members who have graduated and joined the working world.
Dating. Fraternity/sorority mixers—need I say more?Just be careful if what you’re looking for is dating material; some of the people you’ll meet in the Greek system are looking for, well, something else. But that’s true everywhere.
Leadership opportunities. Greek membership offers opportunities in the local chapter and in your school’s Greek council as well. Great résumé material.

tld221 · #39 10-04-2009, 11:40 PM

If those are the things you want, you're going to have to suck it up and play the game a little then. The whole "be yourself" thing doesnt entirely apply here, but the core of your personality, regardless of whatever scene you're into should be similar to what sorority members tend to look for: confidence, well-spoken, good grades, involved on campus, an overall asset to the house, etc.

The great thing about college is that you learn about yourself. I mean who is really the person they used to be in high school?

ASTalumna06 · #40 10-05-2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

A sorority is not a panacea for fixing what's going on inside.

Yes!

We had a girl go through recruitment this semester, who I met and spoke to briefly. She didn't appear to be the "sorority type" at all, but a few of the sisters knew her, thought she might make a good sister, and invited her to events.

But eventually, everyone started to realize that (without going into too much detail) she wanted the sorority to fix all of her emotional/social problems. As the chapter advisor said, "A sorority helps girls grow in many ways.. but we're not your therapist." And I don't want you to think that I'm saying you need a therapist!

But I think maybe you should focus on you first, and truly figure out where you'd like to go from here.

Just remember that you can change yourself without the help of a sorority. That can come later.. after you figure out what it is you want to do/who you want to be.

But I have seen the goth/punk/grunge girls turn into someone who is more concerned with which designer dress to purchase. But those were personal decisions, and they weren't trying to "fit the mold" created by another person or group.

Even I wore baggy jeans and band t-shirts in middle school and the beginning of high school, and I had friends from all ends of the spectrum.. I still do. But now, I dress COMPLETELY different from how I used to... but I still enjoy listening to my Stone Temple Pilots, Bad Religion, and Underoath CDs

And my sisters have always supported me in these matters. lol

tld221 · #41 10-05-2009, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Another problem that I might run into... I write for the school newspaper. I don't think we have any Greeks who are members of the staff, except for I think one guy who writes for the sports section. And when I was a freshman, I wrote a column about Greeks not being individuals, being conformists, etc. So I'm afraid some people might hold it against me. A few girls on my floor at the time who were pledging gave me some crap about it.

the "Lily-wearing, pearls-clutching, latte-drinking, Cancun-vacationing, DMB/Lady Gaga-listening sorority girl is just as conformist as the "angsty, mid-90s rock-band t-shirt wearing, coffee-shop, open-mic, overly artistic glasses wearing, i need to make a statement with everything i do and say" non-conformist.

you're both groups that subscribe to a certain look/culture/beliefs. and even within these over-the-top, not-entirely-accurate stereotypes there are deviants from these "norms."

Yeah... that newspaper thing can come back to get you. I dont have any advice for that.

sewpurplebat · #42 10-05-2009, 01:01 AM

All I can say is good luck. As one person said joining a sorority is not a panacea but can be a great way to connect to girls.
Also, you do not have to change your music/movie/life tastes just to fit into a greek. I personally am proud to be a metal head who looks like Elle Woods with red hair. Don't stick yourself in a cliche stereotype. People can tell when your faking it.

33girl · #43 10-05-2009, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Someone said before I need to adjust my attitude. What do you think I should do?

Stop being so judgemental.

Stop thinking joining a sorority will get you out of your rut in life. If you don't like your friends and hate dating emo boys, make new friends. You don't need to be in a sorority to do that, and quite frankly I doubt at this point that one would take you.

If your college is so small that you can't get out of your social group or meet new people, transfer to Penn State & be done with it.

JuliaNJ · #44 10-05-2009, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Stop being so judgemental.

Stop thinking joining a sorority will get you out of your rut in life. If you don't like your friends and hate dating emo boys, make new friends. You don't need to be in a sorority to do that, and quite frankly I doubt at this point that one would take you.

If your college is so small that you can't get out of your social group or meet new people, transfer to Penn State & be done with it.

The transfer thing is a no-go. I have to be fairly close to home to help out w/ some family things. Plus, aside from the stresses of my family life, I really love the school. On top of the newspaper, I've been helping out a few professors with research projects and have done some community service stuff through my dorm and the paper. I'm also on scholarship and transferring might mess that up.

But the more I think about it, the more I want to do it. I know I've been too judgmental of a person and willing to stereotype people. That's what I've come to realize I need to change the most about me. I know that if I pledge it isn't going to solve a lot (or any) of my problems but it can at least help me get to meet/become friends with people I've isolated myself from.

kddani · #45 10-05-2009, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

The reason why I'm on here is because I really don't know who I can talk to about this.

A counselor of some sort, for a start. Your school should offer them. You're obviously not happy with the person that you are that you want to change so much, and you're looking to a sorority to help you fix that. I think someone with professional training is better equipped to help you sort out your feelings, ideals and goals than an internet message board.