First year rushers

[aephi alum]

There's some great advice here.

I second the advice of not just asking the PNMs "so do you have any questions about XYZ?" I got that from every single sister I talked to at one sorority during FR. I had a few questions I'd thought out ahead of time, but when those ran out, I felt put on the spot to come up with something, anything, to ask, and it made me very uncomfortable.

Trust your sisters or brothers! Unless there are very few PNMs, you are not going to get the chance to meet them all, and you will have to rely on your sisters' or brothers' judgement.

Practice your conversation skills, especially if you are shy or quiet. Your sisters or brothers can help you there.

Leave your watch at home, so that you're not tempted to check it while talking to a PNM. If you're a girl and you feel naked without your watch, get a pretty bracelet and wear it on that wrist.

Never badmouth anyone. It's ok to say "ABC is the best" but don't follow it up with "and DEF sucks." Be a lady or gentleman.

And relax

[TigerLilly]

Originally posted by aephi alum
Leave your watch at home, so that you're not tempted to check it while talking to a PNM. If you're a girl and you feel naked without your watch, get a pretty bracelet and wear it on that wrist.

We actually weren't allowed to wear watches, to prevent this problem. I would sneak peeks at the grandfather clock as we walked through the foyer, though.

This is probably a good idea for PNMs, too. You don't want to end up checking your watch out of habit and give the impression that you're eager for your time at that house to be over.

[AXOKatie]

for the love of everyone's noses, pleeeeeeaaaaase wear deoderant, but don't wear perfume! when fifty or sixty girls get together in a house and are wearing everything from chanel #5 to rasberry body lotion, it can get really hard to breathe

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by TigerLilly
We actually weren't allowed to wear watches, to prevent this problem. I would sneak peeks at the grandfather clock as we walked through the foyer, though.

This is probably a good idea for PNMs, too. You don't want to end up checking your watch out of habit and give the impression that you're eager for your time at that house to be over.

We weren't allowed to wear watches either, as a rule... but we always had that one sister (usually me, lol) who would either forget to leave her watch at home, or who had a legitimate reason for needing to have a watch on before or after the day's parties, and who would then have to leave her watch in the back room - from which things could, and occasionally did, walk away. So leave your watches safely at home!

[honeychile]

Originally posted by aephi alum


Practice your conversation skills, especially if you are shy or quiet. Your sisters or brothers can help you there.



And relax

Both of these cannot be stressed enough!! Practice, practice, practice your conversational skills, on your family, in your GLO, even in line at the grocery store! Be able to talk to both kings and commoners (as my mama always says). If you need to, have two or three short but funny stories "memorized" that you can fall back on - like when you signed up for Class A thinking it was Class B but you met your boyfriend, or the Psych Prof that asked you to show your ID and you read it as Freud's id, and thought he was a pervert - that sort of thing.

And do relax! PNMs can sense fear just as easily as anyone else. You're already IN your sorority. You are talking to someone who would like to be in your sorority. Be gracious and calm.

I'd like to add one thing: PLEASE gargle or use breath mints between each and every round!!

Glad I read this thread.

Since our Recruitment Chair will not be able to be here in the fall I get to take over. Since I've never done it before...I'm getting nervous.

You all had really good advice though.

[KappaKittyCat]

Another tip... try to get yourself paired up with an experienced rusher. Lots of times chapters use a two-on-two system, and that way if you get tongue-tied, there's a more experienced woman to help you out.

This is a tip for all rushers, but especially useful for newbies. Come up with a specific answer to this question:

What made you choose XYZ? Why did it stand out above all the rest?

Got an answer in your head? Great! Now write it down. That's important.

Also, have 3 or 4 go-to questions to use in case conversation drags: "What's your favorite movie?" is always one I like. The ideal question will have nothing to do with sororities and give the PNM a chance to relax and talk about herself in an area where she feels comfortable. "Do you have any pets?" is also another good one. The great thing about these questions is that after you and the PNM have chatted about her favorite movie or her German Shepherd, you can then turn the conversation gently to your chapter: "Yeah, I'll never forget the time when my goldfish died and my sisters held a funeral..." That sort of thing (though maybe not quite as morbid).

[ASTLuv21]

There is a lot of great advice in here! I'm going on my second FR and I did a informal one as well and a lot of this thread helped me for this FR. I plan on bringing it back to my chapter to help out those who never been through FR.

It is a good thing to avoid the "what year are you?" "what's your major?" "do you commutte or live on campus?" (commutter school here) I think by the end of the night they just want to scream at you bc of that questions...although it would be nice to get the applications before the parties even start to try and avoid those questions...but thats something we have to take up w/our CPH lol.

[jwright25]

For those of you about to recruit on the sorority side - watch David Letterman, Jay Leno, and Jon Stewart. They have great conversation skills! Notice how they pay close attention to what the guest says and get their next questions from that information. You can always tie something they said back into your chapter - if they are musical, you do All-Sing or something similar. If they are athletic, you participate in Intramural sports. Stuff like that! Just act like you are meeting someone in class or at a restaurant and treat them like a "normal" new friend rather than someone to spit facts to. Believe me, they'll appreciate the relaxed, regular conversation rather than recitation of philanthropy, social, mixers, blah blah blah!

Beth
jwright25

[twhrider13]

You know, I really love the idea of more than one sister at a time talking to PNMs. I find it easier to talk in a group (even if it's only myself and two other people) than one-on-one. Unfortunately, our school's Panhellenic has a rule against more than one sister talking to a PNM at a time. So I'm going to have to work on my one-on-one conversation skills.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by twhrider13
You know, I really love the idea of more than one sister at a time talking to PNMs. I find it easier to talk in a group (even if it's only myself and two other people) than one-on-one. Unfortunately, our school's Panhellenic has a rule against more than one sister talking to a PNM at a time. So I'm going to have to work on my one-on-one conversation skills.

I always thought it was okay as long as there are only 2 sisters and not 3...

[erniegurl00]

Correct. More than 2 and it becomes "hot boxing", which I believe is an obsolete term.

[twhrider13]

Originally posted by JocelynC
I always thought it was okay as long as there are only 2 sisters and not 3...

That's what I thought, too, but either I was wrong, or the sister who told me was misinformed. Of course, knowing me, I probably don't know what the heck I'm talking about...as usual!

[bluefish81]

Originally posted by JocelynC
I always thought it was okay as long as there are only 2 sisters and not 3...

Two sisters on one PM should be okay (but Campus Panhellenics may adopt different rules) More than that and your hot-boxing, this includes your house director, any alumnae etc. We generally don't use the two members on one PNM unless we were doing a bump or recruiting in a group - ie. 3 sister, 3 PNM etc.

A lot of times when we did the bumps the incoming sister would greet the other one, ie..."Hi Sally," then if 'Sally' had a brain lapse and forgot your name she was going to look at you to acknowledge you anyway and could check your nametag so that she could introduce you to the PNM.

I also agree with the perfume comment - we were allowed to wear body sprays (Bath and Body Works etc) and deodorant only.

We weren't allowed to wear watches at all and generally we kept the jewelery to a minimum, ie. no more than one ring on each hand things like that. And if you play with the jewelery at all - don't even where it. I have a nervous habit of playing with my Theta ring and I would just take it off during Formal because I didn't want the women to think I wasn't interested in them.

I would also suggest keeping breath mints somewhere that you can pop between parties.

[oncelurked]

I definitely agree with wear deoderant, no watches, no perfume. These were three hard and fast rules every year.

Also, I'd say think of some random question in case you run out of things to say. not just movies, etc., but something along the lines of ,"if you were going to be on survivor what would you take with you?" I've always had at least one girl that no matter how hard I tried I got stuck. These random questions can jumpstart a dead conversation - they have also gotten a few shy girls out of their shell

I also second or third or whatever the breathmints

oh yes, and if you bump, never, never approach a sister from behind (common sense, I know, but I know I've forgotten from time to time)