OMG well here goes!
I sent out this invitation where I had a pic of a limo and all my friends heads coming out of the windows and basically said I am not getting married anytime soon, so this is your call to arms--instead of being a bridesmaid, come to LA for my 30th.
So I had 5 friends fly in from all over, and another 10 here, including me.
So Friday night, just the out of towners and I go out. We pre-party and eat pizza at my place and then call a cab and head for the Sunset Strip. After hitting a few clubs, we end up at the Skybar.
Now I'd had a memorable night at the SkyBar a few months prior where I somehow ended up sitting on the bar, SINGING (and I am not a SINGER) with five guys around me and then the bouncer Stu comes and picks me up and starts kissing me...
So basically, we have NO TROUBLE getting into the SkyBar. LOL
Well its an unseasonably COLD and WINDY April night and we head straight for the first available heat lamp--as Skybar is 95% outdoors.
Well 3 of us huddle around the heat lamp, oblvious to the guys there already, and 3 decide to head into the cabana because George Clooney and Gabriel Byrne are there.
OK sidebar for outfit-- SHORT SHORT MICRO mini in black and strappy tank top, little cardigan and strappy heels--did I mention it was COLD?
Well we notice the guys we've just pushed out of the way and they are cute. 4 of them, 3 of us. I start talking to one of them --because they turned to each other and said something about us in French. Since I speak French, I turned around and thanked them for the compliment. They were stunned.
So we talk to them and drink with them for a little bit until my other friends come back out and drag us indoors. In the meantime I've exchanged phone #'s with the tall, dark, extremely hot 25 year old I was talking to.
So we go in and who do I see but my old pal Stu the bouncer. So he picks me up--mind you, I am easily 6' tall in the heels I had on--Stu is HUGE--he picks me up and whirls me around and is all Hiya Gorgeous and kisses me. I am drunk, I am laughing, the room is spinning, but hey, so am I, so no worries.
So I go to where my friends are standing, having attracted all sorts of attention with Stu. And they are drooling over Gabriel Byrne. Well I look and lo and behold my friend and former neighbor for 3 years Karen is with him--I forgot they were friends. So I walk on over, Karen and I hug and kiss and Gabriel says hi and my friends are standing there w their mouths hanging open.
SO Karen introduces them, we hang out for a second and then move back outside. As we got outside of the cabana, we're walking and talking and laughing and some guy grabs my arm, pulls me to him and starts kissing me--deeply. I start laughing and pull away-- and he pulls me back and keeps kissing me. So he starts telling me I'm beautiful, he's been watching me all night, etc. Asks for my number, and damn it, he was an amazing kisser so I give it to him.
At this point its about 2am and we're drunk so we go out front, hail a cab and head home.
By the time we get back to my apartment, yes everyone staying there--girls on the floor, girls everywhere--more fun that way!
Anyway, by the time we get back to my apartment, Both Mike, the 25yr old and John, the kissing guy had called and left messages. John invited us to an after hours house party in the hills, but we decided not to go.
So that was Friday night.
Saturday was the REAL celebration.
Saturday Day we spent at a spa, massage, manicure, pedicure, lunch. Delightful.
Go home get ready. My in town friends show up. So does the white stretch limo they'd ordered to take us around.
We go to dinner at a Cajun place, much food, much drink, much cake.
Then off to party like rock stars.
At dinner, they gave me a baseball hat--it said "Me 30? There must be some mistake" This hat started with the first one to turn 30 2 years prior and was passed on and on until we were all 30.
We take the limo and head to grocery store to stock up the limo--limo pulls up to Ralph's 15 buzzed and attractive women aged 25-32 pile out... yeah, we created a bit of a disturbance in the parking lot.
So we head to Bar Marmont, and we have to wait in line for a bit because the transvestite is working the door and he is wholly unimpressed by a group of 15 women, birthday or no birthday. So out on the street w everyone else, they dare me to kiss 30 men that night. Stipulate that it can be as chaste as a kiss on the cheek or as down and dirty as I want.
Well...
I was wearing a long dark blue skirt that was slit on BOTH sides literally almost all the way up to the waistband, a backless white top and strappy sandals.
Well, with a few drinks in me and the hat---I had NO PROBLEM walking up to guys and asking them if I could kiss them. At Bar Marmont it was pretty chaste and a lot of giggles. But of course each and every guy I kissed bought me a drink.
We leave there when I tire of it, lol and head to the SkyBar again. Go in and hang out for not too long--go kiss Stu--we're up to 8 at this point, its like 1030. have 2 more drinks.
Decide we MUST go dancing.
But DAMN Michelle and I need a bathroom, so we pull into The Standard--which had not yet opened and basically Michelle and I more or less break into the construction site, find the bathrooms and use them. Months later when it opened we went and were like, hey, we were here first, LOL
So we head into Hollywood and go to Goldfingers. Girls in cages, packed to the rafters with people and great music--total dive--loving it.
Well, I start working my way around the edges of the room with my its my birthday, my friends dared me, do you mind--well, there is video of this and I was basically just working my way down the line, kiss, they buy me a shot, next, kiss, another shot and so on.
Well I get up to about 23 and I see this petite woman with not much chest to speak of dancing on the bar and taking off her clothes.
I apparently turn to my friends and say--Pffft, I can do better than THAT and proceed to climb up onto the bar. Well, I am wearign 4 inch heels. I've had close to 20 drinks (not all of them totally drank, but close enough) ANd 1/2 my friends are scared to death that I am going to fall and break something you know? And the other 1/2 are scared I'm actually going to strip.
Well I get up there and people (the guys I've kissed mostly) are cheering. And I look around and start laughing and get stage fright. I take the cardigan I've got tied on my shoulders off, twirl it around a bit and toss it to my friends. Then I toss the hat, my friends got it back from the guy who caught it. Two guys Patrick and Collin get up on the bar at the request of my friends and bring me down.
OK--that is the last thing I remember.
Next thing I remember I am in the bathroom at home praying to the porcelin God like I never have before. Another friend is in the same position at the sink. All the local friends have taken cabs home.
They filled it in for me the next day:
Apparently Patrick was to die for gorgeous and we were talking for quite awhile.
Bar closes 2am. My friends are all in parking lot, they thought I was right behind them. The limo is waiting. I am gone.
Goldfingers is in a bad and seeeeeedy neighborhood.
They found me 4 blocks away making out w Patrick on the corner.
They loaded me into the limo--some not totally drunk person gave him my phone # when it became clear I no longer had ANY idea what a phone even was, and we went home.
I apparently spent the whole ride home telling everyone how much I loved them and taking pictures of feet.
Again, its on video, but I can't bring myself to watch that part, lol
Final count on kissing -- 26--including limo driver.
I have NEVER been so ill in my life. Erika thought I was going to die--of course she was pretty far gone too--
Within the next two days I had calls and offers of dates from no fewer than 12 guys.
I couldn't bring myself to go out with the ones I couldn't rememeber though. And that was most of them.
I did go out with John the kisser a few times. He didn't have much to say, wasn't too terribly bright. BUT MY LORD he was a good kisser. I asked him what he did. He said porn star. I am not sure I don't believe, him based on what I saw. LOL
I did go out with Mike the 25 yr old from Skybar's heat lamp.
I actually ran off to Vegas and married him 3 months later.
3 months after that, we divorced.
And that, is the tale of MY 30th Birthday.
Amy
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