Rushing again as a Sophmore

[Mr.J]

This is my story, Freshman year fall rush, I'm only going to one event with a friend who wants to check this fraternity out. Sure I'll tag along. Go to one of the football events, cool, meet a few guys. small effort. Don't go to other events. Of course didn't get the bid because I only went to one event and wasn't too social.

Spring Rush, I see that friend again he loves his fraternity, he along with all his class tell me to rush. So yeah i'll give it a try. Meet a lot of people go to most events, basically know everyone. Of course there are a few that I didn't manage to talk to. Bid time comes around and I did not receive one.

The recruiting chairman said "I'm sorry we can't extend a bid this semester. You didn't get the 80% needed. Next fall we will have new rush events. Any questions?" Respectfully said no and thank you for the experience.

To me it was a shock, because I hit it off with all these guys, and never made a slip up. I find out that all of the fall rush class is barred from voting for some reason. This mean of my support is gone, they made up like 1/3 of the fraternity. I was told after that the voting process got very heated, and there was 3 re-votes. However I didn't seem to meet enough guys. It can't be that they forgot who I am, because I've got a unique name Either way I am still great friends with most of these guys, even though I can't go to their events.

What do you think should I rush again? I will be rushing others as well.

[33girl]

If there were 3 re-votes, it sounds like they like you as a friend, but don't want you as a brother.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by Mr.J

This is my story, Freshman year fall rush, I'm only going to one event with a friend who wants to check this fraternity out. Sure I'll tag along. Go to one of the football events, cool, meet a few guys. small effort. Don't go to other events. Of course didn't get the bid because I only went to one event and wasn't too social.

Spring Rush, I see that friend again he loves his fraternity, he along with all his class tell me to rush. So yeah i'll give it a try. Meet a lot of people go to most events, basically know everyone. Of course there are a few that I didn't manage to talk to. Bid time comes around and I did not receive one.

The recruiting chairman said "I'm sorry we can't extend a bid this semester. You didn't get the 80% needed. Next fall we will have new rush events. Any questions?" Respectfully said no and thank you for the experience.

>> That's your answer. What are you going to do with that information?

Originally Posted by Mr.J

To me it was a shock, because I hit it off with all these guys, and never made a slip up.

>> All? Some organizations require 100% approval, so you're actually lucky in that respect. Look back over your interactions with the members you know, and try to get to know the ones you don't. Depending on the size of the fraternity, a few votes CAN make or break you.

Originally Posted by Mr.J

I find out that all of the fall rush class is bar-ed from voting for some reason.

>>First of all, what is "bar-ed"? Second, the "some reason" is likely part of their membership selection process, which you shouldn't know or understand past what they tell you (ie. "80%"). I can try to guess; perhaps haven't reached a particular status/level in their membership.

Originally Posted by Mr.J

This mean of my support is gone, they made up like 1/3 of the fraternity.

>>So did you "hit it off with all these guys", or is it only 1/3 of the members? The contradiction in your perspective is symbolic of your entire story. There have to be people with whom you can have better conversations, listen better, and get to know on a one-to-one basis.

Get to know the brothers who don't know yet. Assess your behavior and find things that might need correcting. I am not saying to change who you are, but try to be the best possible version of you.

Originally Posted by Mr.J

I was told after that the voting process got very heated, and there was 3 re-votes.

>>That information really shouldn't be made public, but regardless, but knowing this just reinforces what I said above.

Originally Posted by Mr.J

However I didn't seem to meet enough guys.

>>So what is the next step? (Hint: meet more brothers.)

Originally Posted by Mr.J

It can't be that they forgot who I am, because I've got a unique name.

>>Knowing your name/knowing "of" you isn't the same as "knowing" you.

Originally Posted by Mr.J

Either way I am still great friends with most of these guys, even though I can't go to their events.

>>If you are "great friends with most" of the brothers, you don't have a lot of people left to meet or make a good impression on, right? So, once again, what's the next choice you make? (Hint: meet more brothers.)

Originally Posted by Mr.J

What do you think should I rush again?

>>It's your choice, but the only way to have a different outcome is to work on the things that might be preventing the other 20% from voting for you in this fraternity:

1. Meet more brothers.
2. Put your best foot forward. That means making sure your clothes aren't stained or torn, you listen more than you speak, you are a polite guest, you get to know brothers not for the votes, but for the friendship experience, and don't focus on getting a bid.
3. Oh, and meet more brothers.

Originally Posted by Mr.J

I will be rushing others as well.

>>All of the above advice is relevant when rushing other organizations. The bid should be a by product of the friendship. Greek life is all about making friends. It's not a big secret.

Lastly, if you have one or two close friends who are members, ask them if they have any advice. Do not ask why you didn't get the 80% or what was said.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Were there spring bids given out at all? Because I feel like that makes a difference in my answer.

[Mr.J]

Yes they were given out. I was told that many didn't agree with the bids. 12/40~45 roughly.

To clarify, I thought I meet everyone, but there were some that I wasn't able to get to know well enough or they didn't attend the events that I was at. Out of the 90 members around 30 were not allowed to vote. If I missed like 15 guys, boom out of luck.

The really reason I'm am posting this a bit of advice. If you saw someone that didn't get a bid from last semester rush again with roughly this situation would you say yes or no?

Thanks for your response! I'm very grateful.

[DGTess]

So you're not interested in looking at the other fraternities on your campus? That make a difference to the response.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by Mr.J

Yes they were given out. I was told that many didn't agree with the bids. 12/40~45 roughly.

To clarify, I thought I meet everyone, but there were some that I wasn't able to get to know well enough or they didn't attend the events that I was at. Out of the 90 members around 30 were not allowed to vote. If I missed like 15 guys, boom out of luck.

The really reason I'm am posting this a bit of advice. If you saw someone that didn't get a bid from last semester rush again with roughly this situation would you say yes or no?

Thanks for your response! I'm very grateful.

It would depend on the reason you did not get the required number of votes. If it was solely because not enough people knew you that is one thing. If the reason was because enough of the chapter did not think you were a good fit, that is something else. You might want to maximize your chances for fraternity membership by getting to know guys in other fraternities.