How to get new members to respect chapter?

chords1423 · #1 05-06-2012, 05:01 PM

Hello,

This seems to be a huge problem in my chapter - sisters do not seem to care enough about the chapter/ do no respect the letters. To combat this, I think that the new member program should be revamped.

SO... what are some things your chapters does during it's new member period?

And.. how do you get across to new members that the sorority isn't just a social group for drinking?

Tell me if I need to clarify anything. I know this post may seem vague.

knight_shadow · #2 05-06-2012, 05:07 PM

If it's the sisters that are being disrespectful, why not bring the offenders up to standards (if their actions are really that bad)? If you bring great women into a shitty environment, chances are the shit's going to rub off on them, too.

Also, is this a local? Are you sure you're even ABLE to revamp your NM program (should you decide to go that route)?

thetalady · #3 05-06-2012, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chords1423

Hello,

This seems to be a huge problem in my chapter - sisters do not seem to care enough about the chapter/ do no respect the letters. To combat this, I think that the new member program should be revamped.

SO... what are some things your chapters does during it's new member period?

And.. how do you get across to new members that the sorority isn't just a social group for drinking?

Tell me if I need to clarify anything. I know this post may seem vague.

Yes, pretty vague. Are you an NPC chapter? local? MC organization? No one can make suggestions about changing anything unless we know what some of your organization's parameters are.

Psi U MC Vito · #4 05-06-2012, 07:24 PM

And what exactly do you mean by disrespecting the chapter?

chords1423 · #5 05-06-2012, 07:43 PM

Sorry, should have clarified. We are a NPC chapter. And I meant that about half of the chapter does not seem to take the chapter seriously. Most of them do not show up for events, even when required, and in general do not seem to take the bond of sisterhood seriously.

I recognize that that is perhaps a seperate problem all together from the new members, but you are right in that the older sisters tend to rub off on the younger ones. But I'm not sure how we can make the new members recognize that SOME of the older sisters general lack of caring is not acceptable.

psusue · #6 05-06-2012, 07:48 PM

I'd say send them to standards board. Many chapters have this issue but when you crack down on things like participation, the people who don't care end up either shaping up or shipping out. And yes older sisters modeling behaviors is also key. When I first started in Sigma and went to my first chapter meeting I was in awe of the formality and respect everyone seemed to show. That carried on throughout my years.

Just wondering, have you thought about maybe pairing sisters that do participate with the NMs to give them someone good to look up to? We do Pearl Sisters (like pre bigs) and it's kind of special to be chosen as one, maybe you could try that?

chords1423 · #7 05-06-2012, 07:56 PM

psusue, I completely agree with you about cracking down on the participation. However I do have some questions -simply out of curiosity. When you said that during your first chapter meeting, you were in awe of the formality and respect? How do you think that can be brought to a chapter where a large part of the girls simply do not seem to take the chapter seriously.

Also, for your big/little program, are there requirements for a big in order to take a little? Because I find that in my chapter, a problem is that some of the girls who really don't care at all end up receiving a little. Then the bad attitude rubs off on the little.

DubaiSis · #8 05-06-2012, 08:03 PM

If you're an NPC, your best bet would be to use the system as it's given. If the chapter isn't meeting expectations, it's probably because you're not doing it right - like using your standards board or not following the new member ed program as it was intended.

Also, is this a problem YOU see, or a problem the CHAPTER sees? Not knowing your situation, is it possible that you're just being a prissy pants? You have to tread very gently with change, especially if you're pretty much alone in your thinking that there's a problem.

/sorry, answers are coming in quicker than I can read and type! But still, how many of the members agree with you that there's a problem?

thetalady · #9 05-06-2012, 08:20 PM

OK, if you are NPC, then I know that you must have lots of support available through nationals and hopefully, local almunae. Have you asked for help from both groups? You should not have to reinvent the wheel... there should be plenty of resources and programming available to help build sisterhood and commitment to the organization.

psusue · #10 05-06-2012, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chords1423

psusue, I completely agree with you about cracking down on the participation. However I do have some questions -simply out of curiosity. When you said that during your first chapter meeting, you were in awe of the formality and respect? How do you think that can be brought to a chapter where a large part of the girls simply do not seem to take the chapter seriously.

Also, for your big/little program, are there requirements for a big in order to take a little? Because I find that in my chapter, a problem is that some of the girls who really don't care at all end up receiving a little. Then the bad attitude rubs off on the little.

It was simply that our chapter followed Robert's Rules of Order while conducting meetings, that our parliamentarian and president were good at nipping side chatter in the bud, and because of that the tone it set for our chapter meetings. We as NMs knew it was something to be respected, so we did so.

I would contact your chapter adviser/regional support team if you have questions about this. Like the other posters have said, there is no reaosn to reinvent the wheel.

In terms of who gets a little, that is up to our big/little chairperson. But they've never prevented anyone from getting a little because of their lack of participation. It just usually happens that those people are not as interested in taking a little because of their disinterest in the sorority. Our vice president though (NM educator) is in charge of pearl sisters, and those are seen as more of a privilege, typically given to sisters who are active, involved, and contributing. Your sorority may already have a similar mentoring program in place.

DeltaBetaBaby · #11 05-06-2012, 09:36 PM

How big is your chapter? If it's, say, 50+, you will likely have some women who don't do much besides pay dues and show up to social events. That's probably okay. Not everyone has to be super-involved, and you'll be surprised at who goes on to be outstanding alumnae.

jazing · #12 05-06-2012, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

How big is your chapter? If it's, say, 50+, you will likely have some women who don't do much besides pay dues and show up to social events. That's probably okay. Not everyone has to be super-involved, and you'll be surprised at who goes on to be outstanding alumnae.

I don't know how NPC talks about it, but I know when we talk about Fraternity involvement we talk about the 3 thirds. You have the lower, un-involved third, the middle medium involved third, and the top highest involved third.

AGDee · #13 05-06-2012, 11:10 PM

The new members will behave like their role models.. the older members. As you've indicated there are issues with some of the older members, I would address it at that level. I'd talk with alumnae and other volunteers up the chain of command about bringing in some values based programming.

33girl · #14 05-07-2012, 12:55 PM

If you're NPC, you're probably stuck with whatever national pledge program you have, to a degree. If you're in touch with chapters at schools similar to your own, ask them what they have done.

This sounds like one of two things:

1) You have some seriously burned out older sisters whose only concern is what time the bar opens. If they're seniors, wait it out. I hope to heaven no one was looking at me as a role model my last semester, because I certainly wasn't one. Give it a summer, and hopefully everyone will come back with better attitudes.

2) Your chapter had a "geeky" reputation, tried to change it, and went too far the other way...i.e. chose members who were only interested in partying. If this is the case, they need to go to standards board. If they don't want to show up for mandatory events, conduct themselves properly at ritual, and pay their dues on time...they're out. Period. They may complain about sticks up asses and "this isn't what we signed up for" but the fact is, you can have a good time and still be a conscientious member.

If the big/little thing is an issue, you may want to enact requirements such as all dues must be paid and you must attend 85% of events or you cannot take a little. Too many women get disenchanted with the sorority because they get sucky bigs who are never around - it is definitely something you need to remedy.

And if this is an issue of OMG DRINKING IN LETTERS (or other behaviour when imbibing) - that's honestly a campus by campus thing. Some campi no one cares, some campi you don't dare do it. For better or worse, follow the campus norm. Doing otherwise makes you stand out in a negative way (i.e. you're either the prudes or the alcoholics).

ThetaPrincess24 · #15 05-07-2012, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chords1423

psusue, I completely agree with you about cracking down on the participation. However I do have some questions -simply out of curiosity. When you said that during your first chapter meeting, you were in awe of the formality and respect? How do you think that can be brought to a chapter where a large part of the girls simply do not seem to take the chapter seriously.

How are things in the ritual department? I am chapter advisor and I can tell you from personal experience that if ritual is not appreciated/taken seriously you will continue to have sisterhood issues.

Do you have local advisors or regional/district ones? they may be a good resource for you in terms of ritual appreciation activities. For us at the national level we have an entire committee dedicated to ritual. You can do a little bit at a time like small 2-3 minute deals in your chapter meetings or tie some of it in at sisterhood activities.

Please note that knowing how to perform ritual is not the same thing as appreciating it, striving to live by it, etc.