Improving sorority relations for mixers

[gr33kfan]

So I've talked to a few girls in sororities, and they said that a lot of it has to do with who the social chair is friends with. There have been mixers where no one wants to show up but the social chair planned it anyway because they have friends in that fraternity. Similarly, some more "up there" frats couldn't get mixers either for the same reason even though the sisters themselves wouldn't have minded mixing with them. Is there any way to solve this problem?

Also, I'm still wondering what people think about calling the social chair/meeting up with her. Is that too much?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by gr33kfan

So I've talked to a few girls in sororities, and they said that a lot of it has to do with who the social chair is friends with. There have been mixers where no one wants to show up but the social chair planned it anyway because they have friends in that fraternity. Similarly, some more "up there" frats couldn't get mixers either for the same reason even though the sisters themselves wouldn't have minded mixing with them. Is there any way to solve this problem?

Ummm, those chicks are feeding you a massive pot full of BS.

Social chairs don't have that kind of dictatorial power. If they kept scheduling mixers with groups that no one wanted to mix with and not listening to anyone's input, they would get kicked out of their office in a New York second. The social calendar has to be voted on - whether it's week to week or far in advance, the chair can't just say "we have a mandatory mixer with ABC" and no one else knows about it or has had any say in it.

This is the equivalent of girls in sororities telling disappointed rushees "OMG, we all LOVED you, I don't know how you didn't get a bid, the computer must have screwed it up!" No, the computer is working fine. They just didn't give the girl a bid.

Forget the sororities and try mixing with the dance team and such. If the above attitude from NPC women really is the norm at your school, you'll have much more fun.

[AXOmom]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Ummm, those chicks are feeding you a massive pot full of BS.

Social chairs don't have that kind of dictatorial power. If they kept scheduling mixers with groups that no one wanted to mix with and not listening to anyone's input, they would get kicked out of their office in a New York second. The social calendar has to be voted on - whether it's week to week or far in advance, the chair can't just say "we have a mandatory mixer with ABC" and no one else knows about it or has had any say in it.

This is the equivalent of girls in sororities telling disappointed rushees "OMG, we all LOVED you, I don't know how you didn't get a bid, the computer must have screwed it up!" No, the computer is working fine. They just didn't give the girl a bid.

Forget the sororities and try mixing with the dance team and such. If the above attitude from NPC women really is the norm at your school, you'll have much more fun.

The bolded was, concidentally enough, daughter's response virtually word for word.

Now granted, gr33kfan, the girls you spoke to may indeed have the one social chair, who, for whatever reason, has that kind of power and hold over the rest of her sorority. Daughter only dreamed of that much absolute power (God help her sorority if she had ever actually gotten it ).

In her house, the one difference to what 33girl stated was that they did not vote on events unless a change to the calendar had to be made. Otherwise, she and the executive board set the social calendar - but she wouldn't have lasted anytime if she had limited it to fraternities she liked - especially since her taste in fraternities differed significantly from most of her sisters.

She made it a point to do things with as many different fraternities as possible knowing that her taste wasn't everyone's taste and figuring girls should have the opportunity to meet a variety of different people.

So, in short, the girls are, in all likelihood, not giving you the whole story and using their social chair as the fall guy/girl.

[Phi Sig Girl]

I know for my sorority we like to plan our calender a semester ahead (so in the last month of the Fall semester we plan out our whole spring semester calendar). If you contact the social chairs early enough then they don't have the excuse of being "too busy".

I don't like working with the frats on my campus because they would contact me wanting to do a mixer but not have any ideas or wouldn't help at all. So when contacting them make sure you have at least an idea of what you would like to do and actively help in the planning.

Like some people have mentioned before serenading is a good way to get the sororities more interested in mixing with you. Especially if you do it for their founder's day or charter day.

Hang in there. When I first joined there was one frat that we didn't want to mix with or when we did most of the sisters wouldn't show up. But now we like them better than the other one.

[gr33kfan]

Originally Posted by Phi Sig Girl

I know for my sorority we like to plan our calender a semester ahead (so in the last month of the Fall semester we plan out our whole spring semester calendar). If you contact the social chairs early enough then they don't have the excuse of being "too busy".

I don't like working with the frats on my campus because they would contact me wanting to do a mixer but not have any ideas or wouldn't help at all. So when contacting them make sure you have at least an idea of what you would like to do and actively help in the planning.

Like some people have mentioned before serenading is a good way to get the sororities more interested in mixing with you. Especially if you do it for their founder's day or charter day.

Hang in there. When I first joined there was one frat that we didn't want to mix with or when we did most of the sisters wouldn't show up. But now we like them better than the other one.

That's encouraging!! So do you think it's best to start reaching out now just to discuss ideas for the fall?

Also what's an idea for a mixer that wouldn't be too intense for having one for the first time?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

You should throw a Miracle Berry tasting party. It would be totally unique, that's for sure!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by gr33kfan

That's encouraging!! So do you think it's best to start reaching out now just to discuss ideas for the fall?

Also what's an idea for a mixer that wouldn't be too intense for having one for the first time?

Grunge. Play lots of Pearl Jam and everyone wears flannel. (Skip the heroin though...lol)

[HQWest]

Throw down for your home town? I have seen it two ways. Either everyone wears a T-shirt from high school or (more costumey) everyone wears something that represents your hometown.

[Phi Sig Girl]

Originally Posted by gr33kfan

That's encouraging!! So do you think it's best to start reaching out now just to discuss ideas for the fall?

Also what's an idea for a mixer that wouldn't be too intense for having one for the first time?

Yes. Now would be a perfect time to get in contact with them. I personally like the My Tie event. It's an easy way to get to start to get to know people better. But something with games and activites is a good way to get people to interact with each other.

[DubaiSis]

If you're at a very big school, planning for next semester is probably more the rule than the exception. If you're trying to do it in the same semester, you're really at the mercy of them having a free window of time. Now, if a sorority has had a cancellation or they're struggling to have a full calendar they may be thrilled for a short notice invitation, but I wouldn't plan on that.

[gr33kfan]

Hey everyone,

Thanks again for your help. So when emailing sororities, is it better to say "Hey would you be interested in (insert party theme here) on (insert date here)" or better to say "Hey I have some ideas and want to talk to you about them."

Obviously I would reword them but you get the idea of what I'm asking. In other words, is picking a specific date bad because then they can just say "oh sorry we can't that day"? And is it bad to mention a specific theme because they may not like it but they might've liked another one that I didn't get to mention?

[DubaiSis]

I like "hey I have some ideas." Time's clicking on. I hope you're approaching sororities now and not just making your plans.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by gr33kfan

Hey everyone,

Thanks again for your help. So when emailing sororities, is it better to say "Hey would you be interested in (insert party theme here) on (insert date here)" or better to say "Hey I have some ideas and want to talk to you about them."

Obviously I would reword them but you get the idea of what I'm asking. In other words, is picking a specific date bad because then they can just say "oh sorry we can't that day"? And is it bad to mention a specific theme because they may not like it but they might've liked another one that I didn't get to mention?

Picking one specific date is bad. You might offer a couple options or leave it more general like "one Thursday in September"?

Mentioning a specific them is bad for the same reason. Maybe they just had a party with that theme? Maybe that isn't the thing this year? Worse - maybe you have an AWESOME idea, and they already have a match planned with someone else. They will gladly borrow your fabulous idea and go have that party with the guys down the street.

[SWTXBelle]

bump

[kaeb]

Perhaps irrelevant at this point, but USC has a lovely thing that I guess is pretty specific to our campus: deliveries.

I have no clue how many other campuses do Monday Night Dinner and deliveries. I've talked to Greek friends at other schools, and they have no clue what I'm talking about, so I guess it isn't too common. If you don't know what it is, from 5-6pm on Mondays, all the sororities and fraternities have dinner in their houses before chapter, and all the members who aren't in class or out of town are supposed to be there. During the meal, the pledges/new mems go out on deliveries, where girls send gifts/baked goods to guys in fraternities, and guys do the same for women in sororities. The pledges/new mems are brought into the dining room, announce themselves and their house affiliation, and distribute the gifts from their house. Same-sex deliveries (usually sorority-to-sorority) are dropped off at the door. Also, student orgs et al who want to speak to the entire Greek community go from house to house with announcements, telling the houses about what they're doing or selling or whatever.

I believe it is a common practice at the beginning of the semester for sororities to send out "social deliveries" to the new social chairs of each fraternity, and for the fraternities to do likewise with the sororities. It's a good way to establish good relations and open the door to communication—usually there will be a note with the social deliveries saying "Hey, my name is Jane Smith, I'm the social chair for Alpha Alpha Alpha, and we'd be interested in having a mixer with your fraternity! My phone number is 555-123-4567" or something along those lines (that's definitely not what it says exactly, I can't remember it word for word).

Obviously, that's specific to schools that do deliveries/MND, and if you're at one of those schools, you probably already know about social deliveries, but if you're not, maybe try baking cookies and bringing them with you next time you serenade, with a note attached from your social chair saying you'd like to have a mixer?

Other opinions?