Dropped Pledges Re-rushing

GeorgiaGreek · #1 09-02-2012, 03:27 PM

Hi all, my question is more out of curiosity than anything, as it is a situation I have never been in myself, nor do I recall my sorority having to deal with it:

If a girl drops from pledgeship before initiation and decides to go through the next formal recruitment (assuming that it is one year later, she is elegible, and the process requires you to go to each house for at least the first round), how does the sorority she dropped usually handle that PNM? Or, rather, what does/did your sorority do?
Be polite the first round but not plan on having her back and assume she wouldn't want to be back? Give her a clean slate and recruit her like she had never pledged before? Try extra hard to make her want to be a part of your sisterhood again?
I guess I'm mostly curious if sororities usually acknowledge that the girl had once pledged or if they pretend like it never happened.

If you have dropped then re-rushed, what was your experience like at your old house?
I'm not looking for names ("OMG XYZ was so mean to meeeee"), and I hope I'm not creeping too much into 'membership selection territory', I am just wondering how a delicate situation like that might be handled.

AZTheta · #2 09-02-2012, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGreek

Hi all, my question is more out of curiosity than anything, as it is a situation I have never been in myself, nor do I recall my sorority having to deal with it:

If a girl drops from pledgeship before initiation and decides to go through the next formal recruitment (assuming that it is one year later, she is elegible, and the process requires you to go to each house for at least the first round), how does the sorority she dropped usually handle that PNM? Or, rather, what does/did your sorority do?
Be polite the first round but not plan on having her back and assume she wouldn't want to be back? Give her a clean slate and recruit her like she had never pledged before? Try extra hard to make her want to be a part of your sisterhood again?
I guess I'm mostly curious if sororities usually acknowledge that the girl had once pledged or if they pretend like it never happened.

If you have dropped then re-rushed, what was your experience like at your old house?
I'm not looking for names ("OMG XYZ was so mean to meeeee"), and I hope I'm not creeping too much into 'membership selection territory', I am just wondering how a delicate situation like that might be handled.

It is completely up to each individual sorority. There's no general rule. I would not comment on what my chapter has done in this situation.

And yes, you are getting into membership selection territory, IMO. You're also indirectly (or maybe not so indirectly) soliciting negative comments, despite your disclaimer. I don't see that this is a Panhellenic approach at all.

Titchou · #3 09-02-2012, 03:43 PM

They would be the polite young women that we would expect them to be and then they would do whatever the heck they want to do about her: release her or invite her, depending on the private rules of that group. Just like they would with anyone else.

End of story....

honeychile · #4 09-02-2012, 04:06 PM

I would think that a lot would depend on why she depledged in the first place. Did she have a death in the family, or an illness? Did she drop out of school for that term? Did she not make the grades?

In other words, did she leave a door open for her return, or did she flounce? Then, the chapter would either treat her like any other PNM, or do so for the first round, then cut her. I have heard of cases where the PNM discussed this with her Rho Chi, and provision was made for her not to return to the chapter involved.

GeorgiaGreek · #5 09-02-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta

It is completely up to each individual sorority. There's no general rule. I would not comment on what my chapter has done in this situation.

And yes, you are getting into membership selection territory, IMO. You're also indirectly (or maybe not so indirectly) soliciting negative comments, despite your disclaimer. I don't see that this is a Panhellenic approach at all.

Yikes, I really didn't mean to come off this way. I was more curious about if it was more common for the rusher to acknowledge that the girl had pledged before when talking to her, or act like it had never happened and just have a standard conversation.
I wasn't implying that anyone would ever be rude to a PNM, no matter what the circumstances, and I'm not trying to dig into the selection process or stir up negativity. I was genuinely just interested in what people think the best way to go about the situation is because I know it happens but I haven't had to deal with it myself. My question was meant to be about what happens during the actual party, not so much about selection, but I could have phrased it better.

AZTheta · #6 09-02-2012, 05:58 PM

Fair enough. Look at what my two Southern sisters posted. I'm from the West Coast. That should explain the difference in our responses.

ChioLu · #7 09-03-2012, 09:31 AM

There are some schools where Panhellenic takes this situation into consideration. UCLA allows the former pledge to not attend the party at her former house, so it's not awkward for either.
On Open House days, there are a couple more party times to accommodate the larger numbers of women going through Recruitment (example - 14 parties for 12 groups so the # of PNMs at each party is more managable). There are PNMs with a break in their schedule and are waiting at different points in time. No one (except Panhellenic & the Rho Chis) would know if a re-rusher is not attending a party of her former chapter. And, it would only happen on the 1st day of Recruitment.
Note: This rarely happens, but there is a plan in place if needed.

IUHoosiergirl88 · #8 09-03-2012, 09:49 AM

At IU, if it was an 'ugly break-up,' the chapter can request to Panhellenic that the PNM not attend their party. This rarely rarely ever happens, but it does on occasion.

33girl · #9 09-03-2012, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGreek

Yikes, I really didn't mean to come off this way. I was more curious about if it was more common for the rusher to acknowledge that the girl had pledged before when talking to her, or act like it had never happened and just have a standard conversation.

You kind of have to say "hey, how have you been" rather than acting like the girl is someone completely new, unless you want to seem like a complete idiot. Even if it's a sister who didn't know her...considering all the info sorority members have on first time rushers, and that they can spout off at will, it would be asinine to act like an ex-NM is someone that you have no clue who she is.

Whether the politeness will go beyond the surface, well, as honeychile said, that all depends on why she dropped.

Jill1228 · #10 09-03-2012, 11:22 AM

I can guess it would be an awkward situation. I personally know of someone who went through recruitment her first year, got a bid. WAS CHOSEN AT TOP NEW MEMBER (even got her name on a pledge class plaque) and dropped the night before initiation. She just couldn't get rid of the feeling that she should have been somewhere else.

She did go through recruitment again the following year and was very happy with her new home. Became a very active alumna. It would have been interesting to be a fly on the wall when she went back to her former house for the first round of parties...