GreekChat.com Forums  

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > General Chat Topics > News & Politics


Register Now for FREE!
Join GreekChat.com, The Fraternity & Sorority Greek Chat Network. To sign up for your FREE account INSTANTLY fill out the form below!

Username: Password: Confirm Password: E-Mail: Confirm E-Mail:
 
Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.

  I agree to forum rules 

» GC Stats
Members: 325,124
Threads: 115,503
Posts: 2,196,043
Welcome to our newest member, znathanhulzeo24
» Online Users: 1,254
2 members and 1,252 guests
chi-o_cat, Cookiez17
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-02-2009, 11:20 AM
DaemonSeid DaemonSeid is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In a house.
Posts: 9,564
When Defriending Hurts !!

(CNN) -- If you harbor a bit of angst over Facebook friend requests gone unanswered, a surprise "defriending" or being deserted by your Twitter followers, you're not alone.

Elaine Fogel has amassed more than 500 connections on LinkedIn, a professional networking Web site, by extending invites to those who appear to fit her wide array of career interests.

"Ninety-nine percent of the time, people just say yes," she said.

But then came "this one woman" who Fogel encountered on one of the 40-plus discussion groups she belongs to on LinkedIn. The woman offered interesting opinions, so Fogel sent her an invitation to join her network.

"She sent an e-mail saying, 'I only connect with people I know, and hopefully our paths will cross one day,' " said Fogel, of Phoenix, Arizona, her voice still carrying notes of disbelief. "I read that, and I said, 'Oh, my God, I've been rejected.' "

Fogel echoes other users who have felt the twinge of hurt and surprise from social media rejection. Some may think hers is an overreaction -- it happened online, with a woman she didn't know -- but recent research shows that our "digital egos" can bruise as easily as we do in person. In fact, rejection online may have the potential to sting even more.

"People tend to think that these relationships are trivial and not very deep, but this is what we're moving towards, having a lot of our communications play out over the Internet," Purdue University social psychologist Kip Williams said. "That's the way it's becoming; this is how we interpret our worth. People care how many [online] friends they have."

Or, increasingly, how many Twitter followers they have. This year, a third-party service launched Qwitter, which allows Twitter users to determine who's stopped following them and which tweet may have turned them off.


link
__________________
Law and Order: Gotham - “In the Criminal Justice System of Gotham City the people are represented by three separate, yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime, the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and the Batman. These are their stories.”
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-02-2009, 11:27 AM
Benzgirl Benzgirl is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Out in Left Field
Posts: 7,510
What can I say. I typically only "friend" relatives and a few very longtime friends. Why? Because I know too many people that God knows what they might write. Being that it's posted for the world to see (even with the privacy tools), there are some things I just don't want the world to know.

I have one friend who is in her 60s and I nearly need to police everything that she posts on my wall. Even when she is commenting on a picture, I never know what she will write.
__________________
When did GC become Twitter?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-02-2009, 11:37 AM
thetygerlily thetygerlily is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,049
I have differing rules based on the platform. For LinkedIn I used to accept any invites (can't hurt to connect, right?) but started being more selective as time went on. Now I accept those that I know, have connections in common, or sometimes those who work where I used to work. I try to keep it to people who I know or those who may be able to help me later on. I've started de-connecting with some because they weren't people I would ever turn to. Some employers will also look at LinkedIn profiles to see who you know and what they say about you, so it's usually in your best interest (IMHO) to not be connected with every random person that requests it.

For Facebook I only friend people I know. At first I was hesitant about accepting family requests (I joined Facebook back when it was still for .edu email addresses only) because it just seemed like an odd intrusion. I got over it and accepted my dad's invite a week later I did defriend one uncle because he was making really frustrating comments on my pictures and posts. He made fun of my dog, my wedding pictures, etc. I finally gave up and removed him, I don't need that kind of drama on my Facebook page. I use it to keep in touch with college friends, reconnect with some from high school, and see what coworkers/former coworkers are up to. Although the coworker thing can get tricky sometimes.

And same with Twitter- only people I really know. But I barely update there, so it doesn't matter as much!
__________________
And in the years after, with tears or with laughter, we'll always remember our dear Kappa days.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-02-2009, 12:05 PM
tld221 tld221 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: only the best city in the world
Posts: 6,261
LOL @ Qwitter - its really that deep!

I've had sorors defriend each other over silly mess. Whatever happened to oaths and what not?

I'm trying to be more selective with my social networking but the need to be e-liked just takes over every time. sigh.
__________________
Do you know people? Have you interacted with them? Because this is pretty standard no-brainer stuff. -33girl
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-02-2009, 12:09 PM
agzg agzg is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: but I am le tired...
Posts: 7,258
Sometimes with facebook it hurts a little because I try to only friend people that I actually know. I've actually started going through my list and if their face only comes to mind because of the picture (and sometimes I still don't recognize the picture) I let them go. When a chapter sister defriends me, though, that's tough.

Other than that, twitter and linkedin don't bother me. People's networks change, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't unfollow or de-connect with anyone, because I do it all the time.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-02-2009, 12:30 PM
DaemonSeid DaemonSeid is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In a house.
Posts: 9,564
I have actually have gone thru and purged off folks who don't post (or post a little too much on my wall for my liking) and have gotten feedback from them because they 'lurk'. Either way, I don't care, if you are on and don't use it or just there to be nosey, you aren't any use to me. I am thinking about simply cutting down access to my pages to a select few because I have some things coming up in life that some folks don't need to know about and if I choose to post it to the page, then there are certain folks I don't want to know 'everything'.

I have had so far may be 2 or 3 people defriend me and in both cases, they were people who I dind't know all that well so no biggie, but if it was one of my best friends, then I may have to call them up....LOL
__________________
Law and Order: Gotham - “In the Criminal Justice System of Gotham City the people are represented by three separate, yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime, the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and the Batman. These are their stories.”
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-02-2009, 12:44 PM
WVU alpha phi WVU alpha phi is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,132
Send a message via Yahoo to WVU alpha phi
I was actually discussing this with some friends the other day. I go through my facebook every few months and defriend people whose name I don't immediately recognize, usually people I haven't seen since I graduated a few years back and wasn't that close with in school, or randoms from high school. But while I was doing this, I noticed that a girl I met last year through mutual friends had de-friended me, and she always had up entertaining pictures I looked at (I'll admit I'm a fbook stalker). I was pretty disappointed! The only other time I've been de-friended (that I'm aware of) was after I put up a status that must've insulted a girl I went to high school with.
__________________
Carolina in my mind
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-02-2009, 01:34 PM
Kevlar281 Kevlar281 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 1,452
Send a message via AIM to Kevlar281
Quote:
I only connect with people I know, and hopefully our paths will cross one day
That is a pretty classy way to ding someone. I think I'm going to steal it.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-02-2009, 01:55 PM
Little32 Little32 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: At my new favorite writing spot.
Posts: 2,239
I am pretty selective too. I only friend people that I know and like. Folks who will probably know my business anyway, because I tell them IRL. I have a bunch of friend requests that I have not responded to for just that reason. I think I might steal that lady's response too.

Also, ultimately, I am very selective about what I share. If my toenail rots and falls off (lol), I am not going to post about it. I don't like people to know about the matters that are truly personal and private to me.

I have chosen to defriend folks before. Most of the time, they were folks that I never should have friended in the first place. I think that I have been defriended too, but I couldn't tell you by whom. So I guess that doesn't matter much.
__________________
You think you know. But you have no idea.

Last edited by Little32; 11-02-2009 at 02:33 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-02-2009, 02:27 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
I never knew being defriended was so serious.

I mean, if someone defriends me, we probably aren't friends in real life anyway so it doesn't matter.

Besides, who checks their # of friends everyday to even know when someone defriends them?
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi

Lakers Nation.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 11-02-2009, 02:37 PM
tld221 tld221 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: only the best city in the world
Posts: 6,261
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 View Post
I never knew being defriended was so serious.

I mean, if someone defriends me, we probably aren't friends in real life anyway so it doesn't matter.

Besides, who checks their # of friends everyday to even know when someone defriends them?
you know! the one person who defriended me (that i was aware of), i only knew because i tried to post on their FB wall and i could only get to their limited page. turns out they started a new page with an alternate name. apparently i wasnt included in the carryover, but turns out i was one of MANY who didnt make the cut.

its cool, i didnt like her anyway!
__________________
Do you know people? Have you interacted with them? Because this is pretty standard no-brainer stuff. -33girl
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-02-2009, 03:42 PM
WVU alpha phi WVU alpha phi is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,132
Send a message via Yahoo to WVU alpha phi
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 View Post
I never knew being defriended was so serious.

I mean, if someone defriends me, we probably aren't friends in real life anyway so it doesn't matter.

Besides, who checks their # of friends everyday to even know when someone defriends them?
I'm a facebook fanatic but I definitely don't do this. I only realize I've been defriended if I go to look at the person's page. I do remember the days when facebook was brand new and I'd always check my # of friends though, mostly because not many people were on it then.
__________________
Carolina in my mind
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-02-2009, 03:57 PM
dreamseeker dreamseeker is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Taking flight
Posts: 2,585
Send a message via AIM to dreamseeker
Qwitter??? lol its that serious?! wow. i notice from time to time that my fbk friends number goes up and down but i never cared enough to check who it was. too much work.
__________________
"where my knights at!? why aren't ya'll representin??" - KASS
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-02-2009, 07:13 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,730
People are strange.

Guess what? Some of us have significant others, family members, and close friends who are on facebook but aren't on our friends list.

And...somehow...no one gives a shit.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 11-02-2009, 07:15 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,730
Quote:
Originally Posted by tld221 View Post
its cool, i didnt like her anyway!
What if you did like her, though? LOL. Would it be that serious?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tiger escapes and kills 1, hurts 2 in San Francisco NinjaPoodle News & Politics 40 01-30-2008 01:11 PM
A double standard hurts men hoosier News & Politics 1 12-21-2005 01:43 PM
Feminist lies: Crying wolf hurts the cause LXAAlum Chit Chat 63 06-14-2005 09:22 PM
My throat hurts! swissmiss04 Chit Chat 8 04-26-2004 03:43 PM
My throat hurts! Optimist Prime Chit Chat 6 02-07-2002 09:51 AM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:49 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.