being "chosen"

[southernbelle14]

I've been lurking on this site for a while now, and there are things that are generally said that I just don't agree with. One of them being, when someone says something about not liking a chapter they received a bid from (generally because of reputation), claiming that the pnm was "chosen" by the chapter. Obviously I don't know about everyone's campuses, but at mine, the one or two chapters with the worst reputations do not really choose anyone. Granted, there are some girls who get cut from EVERY chapter, but those are few and far between. The "lower" chapters just get stuck with everyone else's leftovers. They get the girls no other chapter wants. This probably isn't true at super competitive SEC schools, but other places it most likely is. So why continue pretending that every chapter gets their pick of new members? Greekchat shouldn't be some magical place where real world concepts don't apply. As I've seen written under other circumstances, it isn't unicorns pooping rainbows. In reality, not all chapters are equal.
Just my two cents (or should I write it $.02?)
Hope everyone is having a great week

[gee_ess]

hmm... i think this post is very interesting. Do smaller chapters not release girls?

and along those lines...how does a smaller chapter welcome a girl on bid day whom they really do not 'know' ?

Interesting thread...made more interesting by the three glasses of wine I had at dinner. Feeling mellow about rush!

[Always AlphaGam]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

I've been lurking on this site for a while now, and there are things that are generally said that I just don't agree with. One of them being, when someone says something about not liking a chapter they received a bid from (generally because of reputation), claiming that the pnm was "chosen" by the chapter. Obviously I don't know about everyone's campuses, but at mine, the one or two chapters with the worst reputations do not really choose anyone. Granted, there are some girls who get cut from EVERY chapter, but those are few and far between. The "lower" chapters just get stuck with everyone else's leftovers. They get the girls no other chapter wants. This probably isn't true at super competitive SEC schools, but other places it most likely is. So why continue pretending that every chapter gets their pick of new members? Greekchat shouldn't be some magical place where real world concepts don't apply. As I've seen written under other circumstances, it isn't unicorns pooping rainbows. In reality, not all chapters are equal.
Just my two cents (or should I write it $.02?)
Hope everyone is having a great week

ORLY? If you're not a member of those two chapters...how do you know what goes on in their Membership Selection?

You should really go back to lurking.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by Always AlphaGam

ORLY? If you're not a member of those two chapters...how do you know what goes on in their Membership Selection?

You should really go back to lurking.

I am. So maybe don't make assumptions. You know what they say about assuming

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

I am. So maybe don't make assumptions. You know what they say about assuming

I guess it is good that at least there is one house below you.

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

I've never posted on this site before, But I've been reading posts on here for a while. People here seem to like to pretend reputations don't matter at all, but they do. I have many good friends in the "worst" sorority on my campus. While they are great, there are a lot of girls who will talk bad about every other sorority to try to make themselves feel better. They have a serious inferiority complex, which makes a lot of them rather difficult to be around. So if the girls in this sorority are similar, I can honestly understand being hesitant about accepting the bid. If, however, they do not act like this and you enjoy them and fell comfortable around them, then don't worry about the reputations.
Good luck!

[lovespink88]

I was going to say...I admit that was an interesting post. But after that ^^^ FAIL.

[southernbelle14]

There are two that are about equal. I'm in one. A lot of my close friends are in he other. I just didn't feel like announcing that I'm in one of them at the time lol. Sorry for the seeming inconsistency.

[southernbelle14]

^I can see how this would work. However, I am referring in general to chapters that are just as big as every other chapter.
By the way, I am trying to address everyone's comments (I had guessed this would get quite a bit of a heated response), so I am not trying to be annoying or a "troll" or whatnot. Just attempting to respond. I also don't intend to come off as a total bitch, but I probably am since people here don't actually know me. I apologize to anyone I may offend.

[KSUViolet06]

This is one of those "true of SEC but not necessarily of others" things.

At my own school and others that I work with (all in the Northeast/Midwest and certainly not SEC competitive though), I've seen PNMs actually get UPSET because they were cut heavy and some of the chapters they were released from were the perceived "lower tiered" chapter. Like, they were offended that such a chapter would have the GALL to cut them when "they're like, smaller than everyone else."

So the "take everyone" thing is not always true.

[angels&angles]

I will preface with the fact that I'm 2 glasses of wine in.

But, southernwhateverwhatever has a point. I was also in "lower" "bad" "whatever" sorority, and there was definitely some "lesser of two evils" going on. Plus, I don't know if my group had the nicest girls around, or the most naive girls around, but there was also some "benefit of the doubt" going around as well. "Okay, yes, this girl is awkward and a little annoying, but SOMEDAY she MIGHT make a great sister. Also she's not overtly rude to us, and that has to count for something, right girls???" (I was always Negative Nancy to counteract these Bright Brendas. Because, you know, someone has to, and I enjoy being mean and judgmental).

I will, however, add that probably 90% of any pledge class was honestly wanted and/or fought for by a majority of the group. And another 5% became beloved and successful members of the chapter after we did, in fact, give them some benefit of the doubt. But there was that 5 (sometimes as little as 3 or 1% as we grew more successful at recruitment) percent. Because sometimes Nationals and/or the school is crawling up your butt about your numbers, and you haven't made quota in years, and you have to decide where the cuts are gonna go. And it's sort of silly to pretend otherwise.

[[Two disclaimers: 1. even the girls in that 10% were always welcomed and loved and not shunned. And as noted, many of them became awesome once they stopped being moronic freshmen. 2. that 5 or 3 or 1 percent I was talking about could be only my own judgmental perception as, like previously mentioned, many of my sisters are much nicer and less judgmental than I am. And that 5 or 3 or 1 percent generally had people to share rooms with, or sit with, or have an apartment with, so maybe I'm just a bitch.]]

THE END.

[KSUViolet06]

Another thought, I think the "invite everyone back" thing is more prevalent in the SEC and other big competitive schools because the pressure to get the numbers is greater.

You have a huge home to fill and expenses to be paid. You NEED more people to do those things.

A chapter who is the smallest at a small commuter school with no sorority housing doesn't really have that pressure.

[aephi alum]

I was a member of the smallest chapter on campus. My chapter has a membership selection process, and for reasons that should be obvious, I won't delve into the specifics - but being female and having a pulse did NOT suffice, and we have rejected women who were not a good fit.

The women we invited to pref through FR were chosen. My chapter currently doesn't participate in FR beyond an introduction in the first round - and I have no doubt that my chapter's current active sisters are choosing their new members with care. Quality, not quantity.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by Jen

Many smaller chapters are about quality over quantity. This is especially important for chapters that want to grow.

Smaller chapters CAN, WILL and DO cut girls.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This is one of those "true of SEC but not necessarily of others" things.

At my own school and others that I work with (all in the Northeast/Midwest and certainly not SEC competitive though), I've seen PNMs actually get UPSET because they were cut heavy and some of the chapters they were released from were the perceived "lower tiered" chapter. Like, they were offended that such a chapter would have the GALL to cut them when "they're like, smaller than everyone else."

So the "take everyone" thing is not always true.

THANK YOU.

It galls me that people think the "lesser" chapters take anyone. We cut PLENTY of women who did not meet our standards. And they weren't just the ones "that nobody wanted". I'm sure many of the women we cut were considered good catches by other groups. But they didn't meet our membership criteria.

Personally, I found it gratifying to cut women who thought they were too good for us.

Yes, we did have standards.

[thetaj]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

I will preface with the fact that I'm 2 glasses of wine in.

But, southernwhateverwhatever has a point. I was also in "lower" "bad" "whatever" sorority, and there was definitely some "lesser of two evils" going on. Plus, I don't know if my group had the nicest girls around, or the most naive girls around, but there was also some "benefit of the doubt" going around as well. "Okay, yes, this girl is awkward and a little annoying, but SOMEDAY she MIGHT make a great sister. Also she's not overtly rude to us, and that has to count for something, right girls???" (I was always Negative Nancy to counteract these Bright Brendas. Because, you know, someone has to, and I enjoy being mean and judgmental).

I will, however, add that probably 90% of any pledge class was honestly wanted and/or fought for by a majority of the group. And another 5% became beloved and successful members of the chapter after we did, in fact, give them some benefit of the doubt. But there was that 5 (sometimes as little as 3 or 1% as we grew more successful at recruitment) percent. Because sometimes Nationals and/or the school is crawling up your butt about your numbers, and you haven't made quota in years, and you have to decide where the cuts are gonna go. And it's sort of silly to pretend otherwise.

[[Two disclaimers: 1. even the girls in that 10% were always welcomed and loved and not shunned. And as noted, many of them became awesome once they stopped being moronic freshmen. 2. that 5 or 3 or 1 percent I was talking about could be only my own judgmental perception as, like previously mentioned, many of my sisters are much nicer and less judgmental than I am. And that 5 or 3 or 1 percent generally had people to share rooms with, or sit with, or have an apartment with, so maybe I'm just a bitch.]]

THE END.

I like you two glasses of wine in

[Smile_Awhile]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

I will preface with the fact that I'm 2 glasses of wine in.

But, southernwhateverwhatever has a point. I was also in "lower" "bad" "whatever" sorority, and there was definitely some "lesser of two evils" going on. Plus, I don't know if my group had the nicest girls around, or the most naive girls around, but there was also some "benefit of the doubt" going around as well. "Okay, yes, this girl is awkward and a little annoying, but SOMEDAY she MIGHT make a great sister. Also she's not overtly rude to us, and that has to count for something, right girls???" (I was always Negative Nancy to counteract these Bright Brendas. Because, you know, someone has to, and I enjoy being mean and judgmental).

I will, however, add that probably 90% of any pledge class was honestly wanted and/or fought for by a majority of the group. And another 5% became beloved and successful members of the chapter after we did, in fact, give them some benefit of the doubt. But there was that 5 (sometimes as little as 3 or 1% as we grew more successful at recruitment) percent. Because sometimes Nationals and/or the school is crawling up your butt about your numbers, and you haven't made quota in years, and you have to decide where the cuts are gonna go. And it's sort of silly to pretend otherwise.

[[Two disclaimers: 1. even the girls in that 10% were always welcomed and loved and not shunned. And as noted, many of them became awesome once they stopped being moronic freshmen. 2. that 5 or 3 or 1 percent I was talking about could be only my own judgmental perception as, like previously mentioned, many of my sisters are much nicer and less judgmental than I am. And that 5 or 3 or 1 percent generally had people to share rooms with, or sit with, or have an apartment with, so maybe I'm just a bitch.]]

THE END.

Agreed. On every count.

Because there is a lot of pressure to not cut as many because of RFM, chapters who have had much weaker return rates won't cut as many girls. Yes, girls are still cut, but that number is probably smaller than we sometimes would like. Especially if a chapter got burned recently by cutting too many girls, and ended up not making quota.

I've seen it happen, and my school is definitely not SEC, nor is is super competitive.