Do you still attend formals?

[KSigkid]

Other than anniversary formals (like our 15th we had a couple of years ago), there aren't alums at my chapter's formals. There probably will be quite a few at the 20th anniversary in a couple of years, though. I'll try to make it if I can.

[texas*princess]

I think based on most of the responses, alumni/ae participation (or lack thereof) is really dependent on the chapter's history or the rules set forth by HQ.

While I think it's awesome to hear other ADPi chapters invite their alums to their formals, I think if my home chapter were to randomly start inviting alums, it would probably be weird and they [alums] might be more apt to feeling out of place b/c it's not something that has been done (at least not in the past 4-5 years that I know of)

With the 2 national fraternities @ my first school, however, it is pretty much their chapter tradition to invite alums (and their guests) to join them (even if the alums paid for themselves and/or their date). The last formal I went to w/ my boyfriend, they had alums that were much older than he is (we're talking in the 40-50+ age range), but it had always been the chapter traditions to invite their alumni to their formal so they didn't feel weird or out of place.. they were just another one of the guys mingling with the brothers and having a good time. The same goes for the other fraternity on that campus.

[AAgammagirl]

I attended my chapter's formal this past friday. The last few members from when i was active are graduating this year and several alumnae from my grad class attended. I live out of town so this is the first formal i've been to since i've graduated and i probably won't be at another one as i don't really know the new girls very well.
It was great to see everyone and dinner was at a great restaurant.
just my .02.

[annice22]

I attended my chapter's formal last night and it was really nice I got a chance to hangout with my lil' sis and her lil (who was a sweet heart). I think I will try to make it to formal every other year so that I will get a chance to meet the newer girls.

I had a great time and look forward to going again in the future.

[PhoenixAzul]

Alumns are always invited to every formal, it helps to defray the costs usually associated with our formal...more people = less per person. Alumns come around frequently if they live in the area, and it's great to have the Alumn Advisor and the Alumn president both in the area (and be such rockin' sisters) . There were three last night at initiation and another one joined us afterwards for dinner and letter giving

[Kevin]

I do, and will continue to do so as long as law school allows. If not, I may go on a 4-year hiatus, but I'll be back.

[TSteven]

Hell no! And I'm sure "the kids" appreciate that I do not show up. Otherwise, you are going to see a lot of...


"The Funky Chicken"


and "The Hustle".

And other "What was he thinking?" dance moves for that matter.

[chideltjen]

I haven't been to a formal since my last active one over 3 years ago. Girls have tried to get me to go, even as another active sister's "date." (It splits the per couple cost and you save money that way.)

I think this time around, we got a really good deal on a room at the Fairmont in SF. However if we upgraded to a bigger room, we wouldn't get this great deal. So after all the actives had signed up, only 3 alum and their dates could fit due to fire codes. Things like that happens sometimes but usually if alumns are planning on attending we give them a date to RSVP and pay and add them into the final event total. And like Phoenix said, it brings the bid price down since formal is separate from dues. (I think my cousin's sorority had their formal included in dues and everyone paid like $10.)

I've never seen anyone, active or alumn, crash our formal and demand food/favors... though I have seen guys do it unfortunately.

[Zillini]

ADPi's national policy is that alums aren't allowed to attend social functions. The exceptions are Advisors, International Officers, House Corporation members or an approved alum "chaperone". The primary reason being is that our insurance carrier won't provide liability coverage for alumnae except for those listed. The exception to this rule is for specific alumnae functions.

Another reason, as it was explained to me at a District Leadership Conference, was that we have no "authority" over our alums. With actives you always have the threat of Standards hearings with resulting disciplanary actions. You don't have that kind of "power" over alums. Now sure it would probably not be an issue with older alums, only the newest ones who still tend to get a bit wild and crazy at times. But you can't allow some alums in while discriminating against others.

As for alums attending other chapter functions, it depends on the function. Frequently we invite alums to present educational sessions at our chapter meetings. During those times we'll have an informal chapter. They'll come in and make their presentation. If the chapter has business they need to discuss afterwards, then the alum will very politely be excused and the meeting will continue. This is spelled out ahead of time so no one is shocked or insulted.

Alum Moms, sisters, aunts or other close relatives/friends of the sister being initiated are are also invited to attend initiation. Alums are also invited to philanthropy events and other sisterhood activities. Also at our chapter as a courtesy, we provide free meals to alums whenever they visit. (Of course should this become a regular thing, someone from House Corp would probably speak to them privately.)

We also encourage alums to come help out during Recruitment workshop. They are welcome at any workshop and we have a special skit dress rehersal night that we send invites out for. At these times we'll serve refreshments. They're also encouraged (meaning begged) to help serve and clean up during the actual parties.

At Bama, we also serve special home game day meals during football season to all alums, their families and the families of our actives. Actually, this is a campus wide thing that all the sororities do. On one of these game days we'll serve around 500 people. It costs a lot of money, but it's a tradition that everyone enjoys.

So there's alot we do to try make our alums welcome, but we've got some restrictions too. If they want to be more active, they're more than welcome to do it in an official capacity as an advisor or house corp member. We're always looking for more help!

[Tom Earp]

I am very sorry to hear all of this about Alums not being invited to Formal Functions.

Agree With ktsnake, I always go back for two main functions which include a dance function.

I have been away from College for many Years, but always go to Founders Day and Home Coming.

Maybe it is because I have been a functioning member of the Chapter for many years. But, while I am the Oldest, I feel good about being around not only ALL of the Alums that come back, but with the newest Members.

I wish I had the Pix that One of the Brothers took while I was dancing with His Daughter, The President of ASA Chapter.

Maybe Guys have a closer Bond than Women?

But, in reading this, tale of woe Alums, when the sh*t hits the fan, who do The Chapters turn to to bail them out?

Just how can a National tell its Life Time Members, No No You Cant Go!

I agree with OTW, do not ever shunt me off!!! I am a Member (Put In Respective GLO), and want to do what I can.

Belittle Your Life Member Alums and see what you get when You just might be in need in the Future!

Will It Be A Ding for Good, or F**k You, Donk!

Forget Me, No, Forget You!

[PhiMuABD]

Originally posted by LyonLuv
Yeah, Alumni are not allowed at any sort of formal/semi formal or meetings. They aren't allowed to drink with us either. It's a national rule that we've checked and rechecked over and over because we would really love if we could be "sister" like with them, ya know? They are allowed at recruitment. I think the reason for them not being able to participate in so much at the collegiate level is so #1 the chapter can grow with it's new members and #2 they will be more involved in offical alumni stuff. *shrugs*

As for the house thing, we don't have a house so i have no clue. maybe another Phi Mu could answer that?

I really have no idea and am quite shocked by this - if it is true, then I (in addition to many of my fellow alumnae) have been breaking a big rule for quite some time. I've attended chapters, formals, mixers, etc with the active members of our chapter. This would be a good question to ask your chapter consultant about because, as previously stated, if it is true, it would definately be a shame.

I for one, however, continue to live it up w/ my fellow sisters. Rules, schmules.

[Wolfman]

I can see some "issues" arising as far as fraternities go: at a party that my undergrad chapter threw during homecoming, a couple of "well-lubricated" single alumni brothers tried to hit on some coeds;but that is when some others stepped in and through their "powers of persuasion" and got them to see the errors of their ways. But teh idea of excluding alumni from events such as these is strange. My grad chapter has invites members of one of the undergrad chapters we are responsible for to our formal to help us. And we typically use undergrad DST women as our hostesses.

"...So hard to make Omega...so hard to make Omega Psi Phi, haa!!"

[CarolinaCutie]

Originally posted by PhiMuABD
I really have no idea and am quite shocked by this - if it is true, then I (in addition to many of my fellow alumnae) have been breaking a big rule for quite some time. I've attended chapters, formals, mixers, etc with the active members of our chapter. This would be a good question to ask your chapter consultant about because, as previously stated, if it is true, it would definately be a shame.

I for one, however, continue to live it up w/ my fellow sisters. Rules, schmules.

If these events are DRY, then you are not in violation of a rule. In Phi Mu, alumnae and collegians should not be attending social events together when alcohol is present.

[doves95]

In reading these thread there are a few im concerned about

1) alums not allowed to attend recruitment. Thats an NPC requirement to have an advisor, national rep or alum represent the chapter for quota setting meeting, bid matching, etc. Collegiates are not allowed to run these (bid matching) or attend the quota setting meeting.

2) advisors or alum reps are "required" when possible to attend chapter meetings. Yes some are out of line and we too have no way of 'punishing' them if they are rude.. but theycan do a workshop for the chapter or at least listen in on a meeting to see what it happening if they are an advisor.


3) Insurance must vary b/c for SIgma Kappa I know alums can attend formal (we should RSVP to be polite) and can be present and should be at mixers, socials etc..... its on our forms for social functions we organize. If alums/advisors are not able to be present then the chapter can vote on so many per guest to be advisor reps to "watch" the event and take care of any incidences that can occur.

From my understanding our insurance covers all members of the sorority and if there is an incident at a function the Advisors who signed off on the forms or are present take the liability if its OUR fault ie: 19 yr old gets drunk and trashes the place and we did not have someone checking ID's or did not get her a cab. If we did have something in place like a bouncer etc... then we are not liable she is. I think we may have different insurance carriers with different rules.

Alums/advisors should be invited to help with prerecruitment, re recruitment, philanthropies, etc.... at least an invite. If they cant attend oh well. I know I have had some in the past cause trouble then speak to your Advisors and see if they can help u deal with them.