Gays in fraternites (pt. 2)

[jlenoconel]

I know this has been discussed before, but I wanted to hear how people felt about gays in fraternities in 2008? I read a lot of the homophobic remarks by some user on other pages and was quite shocked. I kinda expected people to be homophobic, but think its funny that a lot of the guys think that they are superior to gays in some way. I myself am gay, but don't particularly like the stereotype or anything that is portrayed in the media about gays. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that people shouldn't be ashamed of their sexuality, or be made to feel uncomfortable or alienated because of it. Obviously if the dude doesn't fit in with the fraternity because he has different ideals is a different thing, but that is a separate thing from being homosexual.

The only reason a guy should be afraid if another man were to make a pass at him, which is normal if you're gay, is if that guy is unable to clarify that he is straight for some reason, and is afraid he may give into sexual urges. I do understand people being uncomfortable about certain things about gay life, but this whole elitist attitude thing is stupid. Wake up people!

James

[macallan25]

Nobody needs to wake up.

Some people highly object to homosexuality and don't want anything to do with it. Some are accepting. Some aren't. Some find it highly immoral. Some don't.

[bowsandtoes]

We don't have gays in our fraternity. It's not because we hate gays. They're just different than us. When rushing we seek out young men who have similar interests, goals, and morals as we do; homosexuality doesn't fall in that scope.

I know plenty of gay people, they're nice to me and I am nice to them in return. That said, I'm not friends with any of them, mostly for the same reasons I wouldn't rush any of them.

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by bowsandtoes

We don't have gays in our fraternity. It's not because we hate gays. They're just different than us. When rushing we seek out young men who have similar interests, goals, and morals as we do; homosexuality doesn't fall in that scope.

That's what a lot of men in elite southern fraternities think. Emphasis on think. You may be surprised what you find out after graduation.

Speaking from experience here.

[jlenoconel]

Well, its kind of ridiculous! You won't find me kissing anyone's feet to get into a fraternity. I object to heterosexuality, its immoral and not in the scope of what I find acceptable in my little cliques! Oh please, someone's sexuality is their business. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they don't have the same interests as you do. Stuck up, egotistical idiots!

[jlenoconel]

People need to wake up. I will NEVER join a fraternity! The word sounds gay in its self anyway, a bunch of dudes doing a whole lot of male bonding... hmmmmm!

[icelandelf]

Originally Posted by jlenoconel

People need to wake up. I will NEVER join a fraternity! The word sounds gay in its self anyway, a bunch of dudes doing a whole lot of male bonding... hmmmmm!

Then James, why, may I ask, are you posting here? We have people on this site that are heterosexual, homosexual, etc. Some are outspoken and some are not. But their common focus is that they are members or potential members of a variety of Greek organizations. If you have no intention of being considered for a fraternity, then why are you here?

[moe.ron]

Originally Posted by jlenoconel

Well, its kind of ridiculous! You won't find me kissing anyone's feet to get into a fraternity. I object to heterosexuality, its immoral and not in the scope of what I find acceptable in my little cliques! Oh please, someone's sexuality is their business. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they don't have the same interests as you do. Stuck up, egotistical idiots!

Do you need a hug?

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by jlenoconel

Well, its kind of ridiculous! You won't find me kissing anyone's feet to get into a fraternity. I object to heterosexuality, its immoral and not in the scope of what I find acceptable in my little cliques! Oh please, someone's sexuality is their business. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they don't have the same interests as you do. Stuck up, egotistical idiots!

Listen. You came in and started the thread jackass.

Nobody is acting like an egotistical idiot. My response to you was perfectly rational as was Elephant Walks. Don't ask a question like that out in the open and then bitch about people's responses.

[couggirl]

Originally Posted by breathesgelatin

That's what a lot of men in elite southern fraternities think. Emphasis on think. You may be surprised what you find out after graduation.

Speaking from experience here.

I am not sure why the OP was thinking me because I told me story in response to this post.

I was trying to make the point that you can think some one is something (in this case straigt) and be totally wrong. And if you treat people differntly because they are, in this case gay, you are being a totaly jerk because you might not know who is gay and who isn't and by treating people one way because you know they are, in this case, gay then you are a hypocrite and should not go around saying how you are not going to be friends with some one who is gay, because you might not even know.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by bowsandtoes

We don't have gays in our fraternity.

haha

None of our organizations' screening processes reach that far.

[Buttonz]

I have a friend who is gay who was afraid to rush. He thought he wouldn't wind up with any bids, because it's clear that he is gay. After the first night, he had two favorites (from 3 fraternities on campus at that time). He received bids to both.

In the one that he joined, there are a few gay men. Nothing wrong with it.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by bowsandtoes

We don't have gays in our fraternity. It's not because we hate gays. They're just different than us. When rushing we seek out young men who have similar interests, goals, and morals as we do; homosexuality doesn't fall in that scope.

I know plenty of gay people, they're nice to me and I am nice to them in return. That said, I'm not friends with any of them, mostly for the same reasons I wouldn't rush any of them.

You can do a search. I think I said basically the same thing on here a few years ago. I figured my chapter would never have gays in it for basically the same reasons you espoused here.

I was wrong.

In fact, one of my fellow founders recently came out. It's hard to see it from where you are right now, but give it 10 years. The chances of your having homosexuals in your chapter [closeted] are better than you think. One of our actives even came out recently. I can't say I have a problem with it. He and the above-mentioned alumnus are real credits to my chapter. I'm proud to call them brothers.

[PANTHERTEKE]

I really don't see a problem with having gay guys in a chapter as long as they fit in. Emphasis on that last part.

Would we extend a bid to a flamboyant homosexual with pink hair and a rainbow t-shirt? No, because he wouldn't fit in with our chapter.

However, if a young man has things in common with our chapter, has something to offer to the Fraternity, and doesn't let his homosexuality define who he is as a person, then I don't see why anyone would deny him a bid.

We have an openly gay brother in my chapter. Granted, he isn't flamboyant and doesn't let his homosexuality define who he is-- many people are surprised when they find out he's gay. And although he might get teased about it sometimes (but honestly, everyone in my chapter gets teased about SOMETHING), at the end of the day we love him just as much as we love any other brother.

In fact, he was diagnosed with cancer recently. He went out of the country to get treated and came back tonight for a brotherhood event, and when everyone saw him we all went up to him, hugged him, and told him how we had missed him. He's an awesome brother and has given a lot to our fraternity.

Sorry to have gotten sidetracked, but what I'm basically saying is the following: if a guy fits in with the chapter, gets along well with the actives, has something to offer, and wants to be a part of the Fraternity (whether he's straight or gay) then it shouldn't be a problem.

[jlenoconel]

Originally Posted by PANTHERTEKE

I really don't see a problem with having gay guys in a chapter as long as they fit in. Emphasis on that last part.

Would we extend a bid to a flamboyant homosexual with pink hair and a rainbow t-shirt? No, because he wouldn't fit in with our chapter.

However, if a young man has things in common with our chapter, has something to offer to the Fraternity, and doesn't let his homosexuality define who he is as a person, then I don't see why anyone would deny him a bid.

We have an openly gay brother in my chapter. Granted, he isn't flamboyant and doesn't let his homosexuality define who he is-- many people are surprised when they find out he's gay. And although he might get teased about it sometimes (but honestly, everyone in my chapter gets teased about SOMETHING), at the end of the day we love him just as much as we love any other brother.

In fact, he was diagnosed with cancer recently. He went out of the country to get treated and came back tonight for our Senior Roast, and when everyone saw him we all went up to him, hugged him, and told him how we had missed him. He's an awesome brother and has given a lot to our fraternity.

Sorry to have gotten sidetracked, but what I'm basically saying is the following: if a guy fits in with the chapter, gets along well with the actives, has something to offer, and wants to be a part of the Fraternity (whether he's straight or gay) then it shouldn't be a problem.

I bsically agree with everything you just said. Someone's sexuality shouldn't define them, and I agree that a flamboyant gay man would probably not fit into a fraternity simply for the fact that the brothers would have little in common.