Recs: do or die????

[kdonline]

It happens every year, this time of year.

The greekchat regulars get PNMs worked up over finding recommendations.

I feel that, as someone who attended a competitive greek school, and has been writing recs in a large city for PNMs who attend every college in Florida and all over the country, I just have to say this:

Please stop stressing out the PNMs.

As I said in another thread, not having a rec WILL NOT KILL the PNM. Even @ an SEC school.

1) if the PNM is really outstanding (ie makes it to 3rd round), THE CHAPTER WILL SECURE THE REC! It is no big deal. We/they do it all the time. Plenty of alumnae help out during rush, and this is all that they do! They just stand there, waiting to be introduced to PNMs...and secretly sign a rec form if needed.

ETA: Also, sororities have reference chairmen / coordinators. These are members who do not rush. Their sole job is to coordinate all the recs they've received and work on getting recommendations for PNMs the chapter is interested in.

2) MANY sororities - even @ SEC schools - do not require a recommendation. Rather, they must "make the effort" to get the rec. Many chapters get recs AFTER the girls have pledged...and this is fine with their HQs.

A recommendation used to be an automatic ticket back to second round, but it isn't any more. Sure, it's a courtesy to the alum who wrote it. But chapters realize that alumnae write recs for girls they don't know. And the chapter has the discretion to drop anyone they want - even a triple legacy with 20 recs.

So ladies, please stop being overbearing. You will not die in rush without recs ahead of time.

[kdonline]

bump, because I added something about the chapter reference coordinators, as it seems that many GCers (old & new) do not know that this position exists.

[FSUZeta]

annie,

you DO need recs at schools with a competitive recruitment.

a rec. is not a guarantee that you will receive a bid, or even an invitation back to a top chapter, but it IS almost a guarantee that you will NOT be invited back (to the chapters that are most popular with the pnms)at a competitive recruitment.

like i said in another thread, with 100's of fabulous pnms who DO have recs to invite back, why would a sorority add more work to their day, by trying to track down someone from patty pnm's home town who knows her and would write a rec. for her? in most cases, it ain't gonna happen.

i am not posting this to stress out pnms, but i am tired of seeing year after year, wonderful girls who should have had their pick of houses, believing that they do not need recs. and ultimately dropping out of recruitment because recruitment is not going the way we lead them to believe it would.

[ZTAngel]

Can we make a list of schools where it absolutely, positively essential for the PNM to find recs on their own? I feel like PNMs at schools such as UCF, UF, etc. are unnecessarily stressing themselves out. Both UF and UCF have competitive rushes and while recs are encouraged at these schools, they are not essential. I know for a fact that at UCF, if the chapter really wants the PNM, the chapter will find the rec on their own.

If you're rushing at UGA, you will need to secure your own recs. If you are rushing at Boondock University, don't worry about it.

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by ZTAngel

If you're rushing at UGA, you will need to secure your own recs. If you are rushing at Boondock University, don't worry about it.

PNMs need to secure their own recs for LSU, as well.

[Elephant Walk]

I feel like PNMs at schools such as UCF, UF, etc. are unnecessarily stressing themselves out. Both UF and UCF have competitive rushes and while recs are encouraged at these schools, they are not essential. I know for a fact that at UCF, if the chapter really wants the PNM, the chapter will find the rec on their own.

UCF? Competitive? Hahaha.

A List of Schools where one needs recs:
Ole Miss
Mississippi State
Alabama
Auburn
Georgia
LSU
South Carolina
Kentucky
Arkansas
Texas
Texas Tech
SMU
Baylor
Texas A&M (kind of)
Vanderbilt

Those are do or die necessary recs.

[33girl]

Well, one of my friends was Chi O at Kentucky and she basically stumbled into rush with nothing and still got a bid. That was a while ago though.

How many sororities does Mississippi State have? For some reason I was thinking it was a tiny school.

[dgdramadawg]

What about FSU? I heard their rush is pretty cutthroat, too.

[FSUZeta]

it would be a good idea for pnms attending fsu to try to get recs.

there are always exceptions to every rule, and girls do get their #1 choice who do not have a rec., but why take that chance?

fsu does use the panhellenic release figure rule and there are several chapters who must release large numbers of pnms after each set of parties.
when you have to release so many at the very beginning of recruitment after 15 or 20 minutes of conversation, a rec. could very well work in a pnms. favor, getting her asked back to the next round of parties.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by 33girl

How many sororities does Mississippi State have? For some reason I was thinking it was a tiny school.

Although they had 9 when I was there, they have 6 now--Chi O, Tri Delt, DG, KD, Phi Mu, and Zeta.

Hail State!

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

it would be a good idea for pnms attending fsu to try to get recs.

Thanks! My sister is hoping to be a Seminole in Fall '07.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

I would disagree.

Yes, the chapter will secure the rec IF the girl is outstanding and
IF she makes it to prefs and they want to give her a bid and her GLO
requires one (and she doesn't have one). However, by then, many
outstanding girls without recs were probably already cut in the
earlier rounds simply due to the chapter needing to get down to X
number of women coming back.

I think not having one is worse than having one when you didn't
really need it. No one's going to cut you because you were the only
girl who had a rec. And telling women not to worry about it if most
other girls at her school will have them is doing a disservice.

And besides, the girl is the one who wants to get into a house. She
should be the one putting forth the effort to stand out to the
chapters.

[rhochi2002]

I have to agree with Anne. At some schools Recs simply are not necessary, and we should get the PNM's in a tissy about it.
But I think it is useful to list schools that having a rec is necessary or at least strongly recommended.

[Elephant Walk]

Well, one of my friends was Chi O at Kentucky and she basically stumbled into rush with nothing and still got a bid. That was a while ago though.

Yeah, one of my friends went Chi-O at Florida and stumbled in and got a bid... Florida and Kentucky are clearly not as competitive as the other schools.

[kdonline]

I just posted this in the Sorority Alumnae Yahoogroup.

============

Every sorority - esp at SEC schools, where all the GCers seem to be enthralled with - have "reference chairmen." These are 2-3 members who are not rushing, and all they do is coordinate recommendations for PNMs. They match up the recs they've received ahead of time, and they list who still does not have one...and get to work on it. Yes, ladies, chapters actually make an effort to get recs on girls who we feel could be New Members. There are also 1-2 "Computer Coordinators" who do all the computer stuff...and some houses even have "Legacy Chairs" to ensure that all chapter members know who the legs are coming through.

And how does the chapter will get a rec on a girl? You see, it's really not a problem IF YOUR CHAPTER REQUIRES RECOMMENDATIONS (many do not). Each sorority publishes a list of reference contacts for cities all over the country. For example, I am still listed as Kappa Delta's contact for Miami, FL...no one else has stepped up to the job. (It's fine by me, because as a former teacher, I still have contacts in the area who can help me.)

So, I will get a letter or an email BEFORE RUSH from the rec chairmen at various schools - from huge schools like Auburn & Vanderbilt to smaller schools like Appalachian State & Lenoir Rhyne. And of course, all the Florida schools. These letters have the names & high schools of PNMs who - based on their rush applications - the chapter is interested in. They ask me (as the listed Miami KD reference contact) to write a recommendation on them. I oblige, if I can.

Okay, rush starts. There are still PNMS who don't have recs. They are rushed first round, are well-received, and their names are given to the aforementioned reference chairmen. These women will check the list provided by HQ, and then call the alumnae listed for help. So, during Rush Week, we Reference Contacts will get phone calls or emails, listing these PNMs. (And as you can probably guess, we KNOW we are all on standby during this time.) Even an alumna in Iowa will get a call to find a rec on that sweet girl from Iowa who is rushing at a Florida school.

The last way a chapter will get a rec for a PNM is during one of the rounds. There are always alumnae there helping, of all ages. So, the rusher will guide the rushee over to an alumna. "Mrs. D, this is Katie. She's a freshman from Miami. Katie, this is Mrs. D. She is an alumna from our chapter/graduated last year/whatever the case." More small talk, as what happens in rush. But notice how the rusher guided Katie to an alumna who is from Miami? The small talk might help in writing the rec; ie "Oh! You went to Palmetto High School?! The activities director was my student!"

And so afterwards, the alum will write the rec. She may or may not call her contact in Miami for more backup information, but the PNM had officially met an alumna, and all is well. Even if a mutual connection was not made, the PNM still met the alumna.

So there you have it. You see, there are many many ways that the chapters work to get recommendations for PNMs. It's not necessary to tell a PNM she will die in rush w/out a rec, because she won't. No one is lying. Instead, by the way you all are insisting on it on greekchat.com, a PNM will believe that if she contacts all these alumnae, she's going to get a bid. And it's not that way. They might just get invited back to 2nd round...and not by the sorority's choice. That's why the big drop happens after 2nd round...because many of the girls who had recs ahead of time just were not what the sorority was looking for.

And as for the dress code/wearing jeans..? Sure, that happens occasionally. But simply wearing jeans is not a reason to drop a girl. How she LOOKS in the jeans will, though: are they superlow that she's revealing her butt when she sits on the floor? Are they ripped & torn? Just like those jeans are not appropriate for important occasions At most schools, the PNMs attend mandatory recruitment orientations, where they are told all of this.

But back to the recs.... it's amazing how many PNMs think, because of all the insisting on having a rec, that they will get a bid from a sorority. It doesn't. Maybe it will get the PNM to 2nd round (and please don't think that a chapter won't drop a totally incompatible girl even with a rec), but after that, it's up to the PNM & the chapter to click.

And yes, many of these PNMs (on greekchat & otherwise) truly ARE incompatible with some sororities. Believe me, I know.

Why am I so vocal about this? Well, because - as someone who has been directly involved with recommendations for 22 years - I feel the greekchat crowd has created this belief that is, in a way, mean-spirited towards the PNMs who post there. "GET A REC!" you all scream. And like for 20 messages in a thread; you all say the same thing. It's almost as bad as "keep smiling - you'll find a house for you!" but at least those are friendly.

So yeah...jump off the bandwagon. Recruitment isn't more cut-throat than it was 20-50 years ago. If anything, it's become easier to join a sorority than back then, because times have changed...yes, even in SEC schools.