Sorority family or line names

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I personally do not see what the bid deal is. Unless the "Family Tree" is a part of your Inter/national tradition, it's open to change. All of this stuff is made up on the fly and can be adapted to suit the needs of the chapter and its members. It sounds like everyone in her chapter basically fits into one of four "families" and she wants a smaller family unit. In chapters that have just one little sis per member, you would have lots of small families. I can't imagine how a chapter would all be in one of four. Probably the best way to go about this would be to get other sisters to latch onto the idea of making mini-families within each family so there won't be any hurt feelings.

The way you could end up w/ 4 big families is if some lines died off because of people transferring or terminating before taking littles, and another line thriving - Susie takes 2 littles, each of her littles takes 2 littles, and so on. Think of it as Jacob vs. Esau. LOL. If I get ambitious, I'll put up a pic of our chapter tree.

If families are as disposable as this post implies, a chapter probably shouldn't have them at all. But that's a CHAPTER decision, not for one person to make.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The way you could end up w/ 4 big families is if some lines died off because of people transferring or terminating before taking littles, and another line thriving - Susie takes 2 littles, each of her littles takes 2 littles, and so on. Think of it as Jacob vs. Esau. LOL. If I get ambitious, I'll put up a pic of our chapter tree.

If families are as disposable as this post implies, a chapter probably shouldn't have them at all. But that's a CHAPTER decision, not for one person to make.

Yeah, but it seems like such a inconsequential thing to take so seriously. Is this a backlash against some organizations not allowing Big/Lil sisters? We had families, but they were very fluid over time. I knew mine back 8 generations, but when my grand big's second little sister decided to get different shirts one year for her wing of the family, it was no big deal. When I got my third little sis and they ran out of the plaid that we'd picked for my second little's shirts for her little sis, I got something completely different. Sometimes the relationships have to trump the silly traditions.

I agree that the chapter needs to be okay with the change...if she is the only one that wants to do this, then she may be SOL. That's why I suggested she talk to other sisters to see if they all may want to make mini-families out of the bigger families, still recognizing the larger relationships.

[ThetaDancer]

OP, have you talked with your Big and other family members about this? I think it would look really shady if you didn't say anything to anyone (except random people on the internet), waited for your Big to graduate, and then tried to start your own family. I think it may be interpreted as disrespectful, even if that's not how you intended it.

[thetygerlily]

My chapter went through a major growth period, more than tripling the size of the chapter. Because some of the original members took two littles and others took one, we wound up with very lopsided families a couple of years later- half the chapter was in one line, while the smallest family had just 2. We did a chapter family reorg to equalize things and make them more scalable for the future. We didn't create things from scratch or anything, but separated branches to equalize a bit. It wasn't exactly equal, but it was better for everyone. I'm sure there will always be larger or smaller trees, and some may die off.

Moral of the story, I think there are valid reasons for branching off- but IMHO it should be for the sake of the entire chapter and not the sake of the individual.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Yeah, but it seems like such a inconsequential thing to take so seriously. Is this a backlash against some organizations not allowing Big/Lil sisters? We had families, but they were very fluid over time. I knew mine back 8 generations, but when my grand big's second little sister decided to get different shirts one year for her wing of the family, it was no big deal. When I got my third little sis and they ran out of the plaid that we'd picked for my second little's shirts for her little sis, I got something completely different. Sometimes the relationships have to trump the silly traditions.

I agree that the chapter needs to be okay with the change...if she is the only one that wants to do this, then she may be SOL. That's why I suggested she talk to other sisters to see if they all may want to make mini-families out of the bigger families, still recognizing the larger relationships.

Our families never made a huge deal of this matching shirt business...we tried to get everyone in a family the same sweatshirt and lavalier, but if the store was out, no biggie. I feel like you're getting the shirts etc confused w/ what a big really does - mentors you when you first become part of the sorority. That shouldn't be tossed aside so lightly, and that is EXACTLY what the OP wants to do. Like LatinaAlumna said, it sounds like she just wants to make her own little clique with matching shirts, and that's NOT what families are supposed to be.

I mean, my mom passed away, and I didn't go out and get a new one just so I had someone to send a Mother's Day card to.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Our families never made a huge deal of this matching shirt business...we tried to get everyone in a family the same sweatshirt and lavalier, but if the store was out, no biggie. I feel like you're getting the shirts etc confused w/ what a big really does - mentors you when you first become part of the sorority. That shouldn't be tossed aside so lightly, and that is EXACTLY what the OP wants to do. Like LatinaAlumna said, it sounds like she just wants to make her own little clique with matching shirts, and that's NOT what families are supposed to be.

I mean, my mom passed away, and I didn't go out and get a new one just so I had someone to send a Mother's Day card to.

I understand the whole Big sister thing, but the families IMHO are basically inconsequential. It's another way to segregate a chapter. What difference does it make if you are related to some other person in a chapter because your big sister's big sis' big sis' was Suzie's big sis too? That's the deal with families that I think get blown out of proportion. You're Big Sister is your mentor and is the important relationship then your Little Sister below you. The rest is extra.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I mean, my mom passed away, and I didn't go out and get a new one just so I had someone to send a Mother's Day card to.

This.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I understand the whole Big sister thing, but the families IMHO are basically inconsequential. It's another way to segregate a chapter. What difference does it make if you are related to some other person in a chapter because your big sister's big sis' big sis' was Suzie's big sis too? That's the deal with families that I think get blown out of proportion. You're Big Sister is your mentor and is the important relationship then your Little Sister below you. The rest is extra.

And if someone IS your mentor...does it not make sense to know who the people are who filled that need for them? Doesn't it make you feel good to see someone inspired by your little? Isn't it kind of neat to go back 5 years and see that you and your roommate are two branches of the same family? It's a fun thing to do that keeps the creeping homogenization and urge to business-fy out of our chapters.

If having family dinners at the most 4 times a year (initiation and big/little night) constituted "segregation" - that's IMO overly insensitive. Again, if a chapter wants to clique-ify itself - by pledge class, by family, by living space, by class year - that's a problem within the chapter that needs to be addressed. Hate the player not the game.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And if someone IS your mentor...does it not make sense to know who the people are who filled that need for them? Doesn't it make you feel good to see someone inspired by your little? Isn't it kind of neat to go back 5 years and see that you and your roommate are two branches of the same family? It's a fun thing to do that keeps the creeping homogenization and urge to business-fy out of our chapters.

If having family dinners at the most 4 times a year (initiation and big/little night) constituted "segregation" - that's IMO overly insensitive. Again, if a chapter wants to clique-ify itself - by pledge class, by family, by living space, by class year - that's a problem within the chapter that needs to be addressed. Hate the player not the game.

No...I agree with you, but if the entire chapter fits into a family, how special is it anyway? I love my AOII family to this day and am very close to my Great 5 grand big sis. However, if a quarter of the chapter is related to me, how is that different than just being sisters? If each sister gets one little sis, then families would only be a few members in size. This is what I am reading into the OPs initial question. She wants a smaller mentor group, not half the chapter that in some bizarre way is part of your family (though most people probably don't even know how.)

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

In my APO chapter (which has family trees) we do have a tree which is pretty much humongous. It didn't "break" into two trees, but more like became two branches with different traditions.

My own family tree has three active branches. We have our tree traditions and then our branch traditions, which often are nothing more than similar themed nicknames. (On my branch, we all have military related names)

This.

Making your branch's own traditions - OK. Telling your big "you're not my big anymore" and starting a new family - not OK.