Why Rejected from a Sorority?

Libertylove · #1 09-24-2011, 04:54 PM

Where I go to school there is Panhel sororities and IFC sororities. Recently I attempted to go through the Panhel sorority recruitment. The way it works for my school is that we go to each of the five sororities the first day, then the next day it drops down to the four that you like/have picked you, and so on and so forth until the last Bid Day.

So I attended the first day, loved it, couldn't wait to go back. Second Day, I got a phone call saying I did not get an invitation back to any of the sororities. My question is simple, why?

I felt like it had been a good day, I was honest and myself. Let me tell you a little bit about myself and then maybe you can give me an answer. I'm a sophomore and I just transferred in. I live off campus but just down the street from the sororities. I am not a social butterfly but I am also not too shy. I talked to all the girls and was friendly and sincere. I enjoyed talking to all the girls and thought I had met some great people. I couldn't wait to come back the next day. Everyone had been wonderful.

My downsides. I'm overweight and I'm multiracial. Was I socially awkward or something? I don't know, I don't feel like I was.

I am really confused and I just want an honest answer of why people think I got rejected from ALL of them. I'm really hurt and I am taking it to heart. If someone could give me an answer I'd love to know. I just want a good honest answer.

DeltaBetaBaby · #2 09-24-2011, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

Where I go to school there is Panhel sororities and IFC sororities. Recently I attempted to go through the Panhel sorority recruitment. The way it works for my school is that we go to each of the five sororities the first day, then the next day it drops down to the four that you like/have picked you, and so on and so forth until the last Bid Day.

So I attended the first day, loved it, couldn't wait to go back. Second Day, I got a phone call saying I did not get an invitation back to any of the sororities. My question is simple, why?

I felt like it had been a good day, I was honest and myself. Let me tell you a little bit about myself and then maybe you can give me an answer. I'm a sophomore and I just transferred in. I live off campus but just down the street from the sororities. I am not a social butterfly but I am also not too shy. I talked to all the girls and was friendly and sincere. I enjoyed talking to all the girls and thought I had met some great people. I couldn't wait to come back the next day. Everyone had been wonderful.

My downsides. I'm overweight and I'm multiracial. Was I socially awkward or something? I don't know, I don't feel like I was.

I am really confused and I just want an honest answer of why people think I got rejected from ALL of them. I'm really hurt and I am taking it to heart. If someone could give me an answer I'd love to know. I just want a good honest answer.

I'm sorry that you are feeling down about this right now. Nobody here knows the exact reason why you didn't get invited to any of the sororities. Membership selection is different for each chapter, and very private.

thetaj · #3 09-24-2011, 05:00 PM

If your Panhel doesn't have a GPA requirement to sign up for recruitment, the individual chapters still have requirements for membership, and a lot of GPA cuts are made in the early rounds. Having a low GPA could make you ineligible for membership at every house. At least on my campus, that's usually the main reason a girl won't get invited back to any of the houses after just the first night.

Libertylove · #4 09-24-2011, 05:02 PM

I have a 3.9 GPA

thetaj · #5 09-24-2011, 05:07 PM

Oh. Then I second DeltaBetaBaby's sympathies and comment

Libertylove · #6 09-24-2011, 05:11 PM

Well as much as I appreciate your apologies, that doesn't tell me anything and it leaves me just where I am. I have said it before, I want just an honest answer of why. If you feel more comfortable private messaging me that is understandable. I just want the truth.

knight_shadow · #7 09-24-2011, 05:11 PM

What are IFC sororities? Was that just a typo, Libertylove?

Old_Row · #8 09-24-2011, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

Well as much as I appreciate your apologies, that doesn't tell me anything and it leaves me just where I am. I have said it before, I want just an honest answer of why. If you feel more comfortable private messaging me that is understandable. I just want the truth.

No one here knows the answer. They weren't in the membership selection meetings and even if they were they couldn't tell you about it. Truth is you'll never know.

greekdee · #9 09-24-2011, 05:42 PM

So sorry you had a disappointing recruitment. Of course you feel hurt; everyone understands that you would; just don't let that start defining you.

My first thought was also GPA, but you cleared that up. It is possible your sophomore status worked against you. At a lot of schools, freshman really do stand the best chance of receiving bids. Sophomores and upperclassmen can and do receive bids at some of these schools, but usually if they have been involved on campus and gotten to know some sorority members. Being a transfer, it sounds like you did not have that going for you.

As stated, though, nobody can give you a for sure reason as to why this happened. As for being overweight and multiracial, I want to believe those were not the reasons. I have known, and do know, girls who are overweight and/or multiracial who have enjoyed sorority life. ANY organization that would not accept you for those reasons is probably not a group you would to be associated with anyway, right?

Every year, there are wonderful women who are released from recruitment. They don't know why exactly, but WILL tell you that life does go on and better days are ahead. Find other ways to get involved on campus, and if you're still interested in being in a sorority, contact the Greek Life office. See if COB events may be available and sign up.

Best wishes to you.

Titchou · #10 09-24-2011, 05:44 PM

Does your campus require recs? If so, did you have them? Is there something else in your backgound that could have excluded you???? You know what I'm talking about. Did you talk to the Greek Life office?

Do upperclassmen normally get bids at your school? You see, there are a host of reasons that could have caused you to be released the first day.

And membership selection is private so you'll never know the exact reasons but some of the above COULD come into play.

And IFC is a male organization...don't understand that comment at all unless of course you are transgendered....and that may have been the issue.

Libertylove · #11 09-24-2011, 05:46 PM

I wasn't asking it to be fixed now was I?

Perhaps you could understand that (or maybe you didn't read thoroughly) that I got rejected from all five sororities on the first day of rushing, so I am just looking for some constructive criticism. I of course already understand that

1) You wouldn't know what the sororities, this is obvious
2) Other sororities are not allowed to talk about why they would reject me.

I am not moping, I am just wondering about reasons someone would be rejected from a sorority especially in my case when I got rejected to all five in one day.

Can anyone give me an idea on that?

IrishLake · #12 09-24-2011, 05:46 PM

Yep, like everyone else said: we don't know, and even if we didn't we couldn't tell you membership selection processes. best thing for you to do, if you badly want to join a sorority, if to talk to the Greek Life office on your campus and ask about COB or informal recruitment events.

Do you have BO? Did you shower and dress nicely? Did you smile and look the other women in the eye? Did you use proper English and not use swear words? First impressions are everything.

Libertylove · #13 09-24-2011, 05:48 PM

IFC is coed at my school, and I have a completely clean record. I'm not transgendered. I don't even drink.

AZTheta · #14 09-24-2011, 05:48 PM

Yes.

Your needs and interests weren't compatible with theirs.

That is my idea.

33girl · #15 09-24-2011, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

I wasn't asking it to be fixed now was I?

Perhaps you could understand that (or maybe you didn't read thoroughly) that I got rejected from all five sororities on the first day of rushing, so I am just looking for some constructive criticism. I of course already understand that

1) You wouldn't know what the sororities, this is obvious
2) Other sororities are not allowed to talk about why they would reject me.

I am not moping, I am just wondering about reasons someone would be rejected from a sorority especially in my case when I got rejected to all five in one day.

Can anyone give me an idea on that?

Are you sure that your grades transferred to your new school? If they didn't, that would have more than likely been a reason why.

Also, I think you mean ISC, not IFC. I know there are schools that have Panhel for the nationals/NPC groups and ISC for the locals. Is that what it is?