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Welcome to our newest member, ageldarkz5086 |
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08-15-2013, 07:26 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 83
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovethesand
I'm not trying to be judgmental because I had serious concerns last year that Debbie might SIP but I wonder..... do girls SIP because they feel that it's better to be in THE ONE or none at all? It almost has a cut off your nose to spite your face moment of panic, over-reaction, drama, hurt feelings, anger, etc. I wonder if girls who've SIP'd can think back on it and agree that it was the best decision or if they regret it almost immediately. Just thinking out loud.
Side note: I told my husband last year that SIP was an option for my daughter and he looked at me like I was crazy. His words "I know it's been a lot of drama for you and her and I'm butting out but I hope you didn't encourage her to SIP. That makes no sense to me." I told him he was a boy and that girls think differently. He said "I don't get it. Go through a week of hell (his words) and then walk away at the end? Women."
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My daughter suicided and had almost immediate regret. Thankfully it worked out for her and she received a bid, but her disappointment about not getting asked back to prefs at her "favorite" knocked her for a loop and she made an impulsive decision.
The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.
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08-15-2013, 07:48 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Posts: 4,577
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PearlGirl13
My daughter suicided and had almost immediate regret. Thankfully it worked out for her and she received a bid, but her disappointment about not getting asked back to prefs at her "favorite" knocked her for a loop and she made an impulsive decision.
The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.
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Excellent! I'll have to remember that! Thanks.
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08-15-2013, 07:52 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 13,832
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Oh, I love that!
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08-15-2013, 08:04 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Yoknapatawpha
Posts: 1,781
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Spot on, PearlGirl13!
__________________
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, Kappa Alpha Theta exists to nurture each member throughout her college and alumna experience and to
offer a lifelong opportunity for social, intellectual, and moral growth as she meets the higher and broader demands of a mature life.
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08-15-2013, 08:09 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Bryan, TX
Posts: 1,034
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinapple
I think most girls SIP because they went into recruitment with either a favorite or a handful of favorites, or they succumb to tent talk. So if they are left with their favorite and one "not so much" or they have an overall "desirable by reputation" house, and one "not so desirable by reputation" house, they feel they will be in the house of "misfits" because that is how they have sold it to themselves. Most seasoned women agree that houses have base line commonalities. Sisterhood, tradition, support system, etc. But for some girls who build their lives around labels, from their jeans to the their handbags, to the shampoo they use, not having a "label" house is too much to bear.
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This may be true, and since I haven't been through this type of recruitment, I don't know about "most".
I wonder, though.
Though there are (in many of these chapters) 150 or more women, the rushee doesn't see that. Just like she doesn't see that she is only a minuscule part of the "mutual" selection, she doesn't see anything but the women who rush her. She has no way of knowing what personalities comprise the chapter - what she sees is what the group - not knowing her - has allowed her to see.
It's so very easy to get a mistaken impression of something when you're only allowed to see a very small part of it. If she makes it through a couple of rounds without clicking with one of the rushers - or if she clicks in round 1 and then not again - can you blame her for thinking she might not fit?
Perception is reality.
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When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.-Einstein
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08-15-2013, 08:18 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 13,832
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DGTess
It's so very easy to get a mistaken impression of something when you're only allowed to see a very small part of it. If she makes it through a couple of rounds without clicking with one of the rushers - or if she clicks in round 1 and then not again - can you blame her for thinking she might not fit?
Perception is reality.
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True. When my niece rushed 3 years ago, she visited 1 chapter and her rusher pretty much sat and stared at her. But she was game to meet them again! The second round wasn't invitational either and another girl rushed her...and did not talk. Her roommate, who sat next to her at each party and corroborated the story, marveled that anyone could silence our niece, who could "talk the paint off walls".
You can figure out which group they both cut, even though 98% of the chapter might have been very friendly.
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08-15-2013, 08:54 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 230
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PearlGirl13
The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.
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One of the best things I have read in a long time. Should be a banner running across the recruitment forum.
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08-15-2013, 09:15 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: A Steeler Girl in Bear Country
Posts: 124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubaiSis
I love the idea of it, of no names for round one. It would be interesting to see how many would remember which house was which from the HOURS of time they spent looking at websites and Facebook pages.
Regarding the bubble, after Illinois had good success having a delay between the first and second halves of formal rush, Iowa started doing it that way, and they've had great success with it too. To me it seems counter-intuitive, but I think it does give girls a chance to take a breath and remember what their actual goal of out rush was. And they have found that fewer girls drop out. Quotas have been edging up at Iowa for a couple years now, and my guess is this year there will be a jump because virtually every house is at parity with the others, size-wise anyway.
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I had a daughter go through recruitment at Iowa last year. At first, I wasn't a fan of the two-weekend schedule. I thought, "why drag it out? Let's get this done before school." But now after living through it with my daughter, I think the two-weekend (delayed) approach works. It gave her a chance to catch her breath and look at the big picture.
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Sigma Kappa and mom of a Delta Tau Delta and a Kappa Alpha Theta
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08-15-2013, 10:16 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 12
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For the Final Tally: Two of my girls went Tri Delta and the other one went Gamma Phi Beta. They are all beautiful, brilliant and talented young ladies and are Thrilled with their choices. They will all be a great asset to their sororities. Congratulations to my girls!!
Georgia Bulldog/Delta Delta Delta
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08-15-2013, 08:45 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Georgia
Posts: 6,542
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PearlGirl13
My chickie is a very happy Alpha Gam! And after a not-so-happy week, I am over the moon for her and her new sisters!
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Yippee!! Great chapter!
She was meant to be a Pearl Girl, too!
"Love the 14 Pearls!"
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Live With Purpose!.
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08-15-2013, 10:07 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brenda Bond
For the Final Tally: Two of my girls went Tri Delta and the other one went Gamma Phi Beta. They are all beautiful, brilliant and talented young ladies and are Thrilled with their choices. They will all be a great asset to their sororities. Congratulations to my girls!!
Georgia Bulldog/Delta Delta Delta
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A friend of my daughter's is a member of Gamma Phi Beta at UGA and has been very happy. Congrats to all!
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