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  #1  
Old 11-16-2012, 09:57 PM
misscherrypie misscherrypie is offline
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Didn't really realize how I'd feel different. (Semi vent)

I love my sorority, and I wouldn't trade being a Beta Sigma Phi for anything on the planet.

But, being (most likely) the only Beta Sigma Phi on campus has proven to be a little....lonely. I knew going in that I would only consider Beta Sigma Phi if I would enjoy and be committed to my sorority throughout my life and not just during college or trying to enjoy the experience of being a part of a sorority where my sisters are also on the same campus.....which is why I took the time to consider my motivations.

Still, those reminders that cause me to feel a bit of pain to come up at the wierdest times. I mean, from a social prespective.

I stayed on campus tonight to do a bit of studying in the Student Union, and I looked up to see lots of female and male students all dressed up to the nines. I wondered what the heck was going on. I went downstairs to ask the front desk and they stared at me (I have a lettered sweatshirt that I've become fond of wearing....I created it myself and put several hours of loving care and time into last week.....I wore the sweatshirt to school today.) and said that the All-Greek ball was going on this evening.

I know that I shouldn't care....but I do. I do. I think that it finally hit home that my sorority experience, which probably self-consciously I wanted to be a "traditional college experience" would not be. I'm a Beta Sigma Phi, and I already have made memories that I'll never forget.

Gah....I really need to get into therapy or something. Feeling like this is not what I wanted, or desired....and it's not all the time.....something about seeing all of the members of Social GLOs on campus as they proceeded to this event and were talking and laughing, while I'm sitting on a couch in my sweatshirt reminded me of something that I wanted to belong to and participate in, but isn't meant to be.


Thank you for letting me vent.
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Last edited by misscherrypie; 11-16-2012 at 09:59 PM.
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  #2  
Old 11-16-2012, 10:53 PM
adpimiz adpimiz is offline
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Hmm.
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  #3  
Old 11-17-2012, 12:12 AM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misscherrypie View Post
I love my sorority, and I wouldn't trade being a Beta Sigma Phi for anything on the planet.

But, being (most likely) the only Beta Sigma Phi on campus has proven to be a little....lonely. I knew going in that I would only consider Beta Sigma Phi if I would enjoy and be committed to my sorority throughout my life and not just during college or trying to enjoy the experience of being a part of a sorority where my sisters are also on the same campus.....which is why I took the time to consider my motivations.

Still, those reminders that cause me to feel a bit of pain to come up at the wierdest times. I mean, from a social prespective.

I stayed on campus tonight to do a bit of studying in the Student Union, and I looked up to see lots of female and male students all dressed up to the nines. I wondered what the heck was going on. I went downstairs to ask the front desk and they stared at me (I have a lettered sweatshirt that I've become fond of wearing....I created it myself and put several hours of loving care and time into last week.....I wore the sweatshirt to school today.) and said that the All-Greek ball was going on this evening.

I know that I shouldn't care....but I do. I do. I think that it finally hit home that my sorority experience, which probably self-consciously I wanted to be a "traditional college experience" would not be. I'm a Beta Sigma Phi, and I already have made memories that I'll never forget.

Gah....I really need to get into therapy or something. Feeling like this is not what I wanted, or desired....and it's not all the time.....something about seeing all of the members of Social GLOs on campus as they proceeded to this event and were talking and laughing, while I'm sitting on a couch in my sweatshirt reminded me of something that I wanted to belong to and participate in, but isn't meant to be.


Thank you for letting me vent.
You joined a different kind of organization, not a social sorority. Of course the experience will be different in the organization that you are now a member of. I hope that you will be able to enjoy and appreciate what you have.
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  #4  
Old 11-17-2012, 12:45 AM
misscherrypie misscherrypie is offline
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Exactly, ThetaLady. Which I do, daily. :-)
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  #5  
Old 11-17-2012, 02:52 AM
Blue Skies Blue Skies is offline
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I think that the campus experience you are having is fairly typical for older students (I went back to school to get a graduate degree in my 30's, so I had both traditional and untraditional college experiences.) As an older student, you are both a part of and not a part of campus life. It's experienced on a different level, more like a job with some collegiate elements. I don't think that it's fair to compare the two, but in my opinion, any time you are able to be a college student is a privilege. Your time should be savored because it will pass all too quickly.

You will be finished with your undergraduate work, in what, a year and a half? That's not much time at all. It will fly by. Find ways to have fun and don't worry about things which you cannot control. If on-campus social events are important to you, there are other organizations that can fulfil that need.

Regret is a part of life. No one lives a "clean" life. There is the boy that got away, the job that got away, or opportunities that you wish you had pursued. You will be happier overall if you focus on what is positive in your life, what is going right. Optimism is a great gift and one that wears well over time.
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  #6  
Old 11-17-2012, 08:21 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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I think everyone has made really valid points. The Greek Ball, Greek Week, etc. ship has sailed. Be thankful for the wonderful group of women you've got in BSPhi, get to know them, and quit looking at the grass on the other side of the fence. It takes time, but if in a few months, not being in an NPC bothers you enough that you find yourself thinking about it a lot, I'd suggest therapy.
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  #7  
Old 11-17-2012, 08:51 PM
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irishpipes irishpipes is offline
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You may want to consider seeing a counselor on campus. I don't know you, but I have read many of your posts. The totality of your posts, as well as the fact you are posting at all, make me concerned that you are experiencing some kind of disconnect - you want to be living a life 10 years younger than your actual age. I can't imagine spending hours creating a Greek sweatshirt at the age of 29. I wouldn't want to be up at 3 am studying and eating pizza. I think your issues don't lie in missing out on the Greek experience, but rather in missing out on being a 29 year old.

I am sure that comes across as terribly harsh, and for that I apologize. You seem like a nice person, but spilling your emotions on a Greek website does not seem to be helpful for you. I think you may want to explore WHY this is so important to you. You may find the keys to your happiness have nothing to do with Greek life.

Best of luck to you.
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  #8  
Old 11-17-2012, 09:37 PM
janetgriselle janetgriselle is offline
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Have you looked into finding a local Beta Sigma Phi chapter? I know you discussed being part of an online sorority, but what might help you to become more content with your Beta Sigma Phi experience, might be to attend some meetings. I live in Dallas and we have some really active chapters of Beta Sigma Phi! They're women of all ages having socials, meeting and volunteering. I think a lot of what you get out of it is what you put in!

I also want to reiterate what everyone else has said, find fulfillment in other things! What about getting involved in sports-related stuff too? My alma mater had a student section club where you'd attend home and away sporting events together, especially football games, and coordinate colors and go out to eat afterwards. It made for some awesome bonding experiences. There are so many ways to get involved, don't give up
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  #9  
Old 11-17-2012, 09:58 PM
erica812 erica812 is offline
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I have been a Beta Sigma Phi for a decade. The organization has a lot to offer, but it isn't going to replace the experiences that you might have had in a collegiate organization. I think it is absolutely normal to have a pang of regret when you see Greeks enjoying their activities. They are doing something that you wanted to do. But those feelings should be fleeting. I am in an online chapter (although I pledged a land chapter), and although I enjoy communicating with my sisters and received wonderful support and love from them, online membership is probably not going to give you the "Oh my goodness! I'm so in love with my sorority" feeling. It just isn't. You are going to have to find ways in your present situation to have fun, make friends, and make memories. You need to enjoy Beta Sigma Phi for what it is, not what you wish it was.

(Just to clarify for those who do not know, Beta Sigma Phi is a social sorority. Some chapters do quite a bit of community service, but above all, the sorority is a social organization.)
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  #10  
Old 11-17-2012, 10:23 PM
erica812 erica812 is offline
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I pm'd you, misscherriepie.
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  #11  
Old 11-17-2012, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misscherrypie View Post
Gah....I really need to get into therapy or something.
Yep. Pretty much.

Most if not all colleges and universities have a nontraditional students' organization of some sort...if you aren't a member already, you need to join the one at your school. ASAP.
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  #12  
Old 11-18-2012, 08:07 AM
sigmadiva sigmadiva is offline
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I've been following your posts too, misscherrypie, and I agree with the advice given by KSUViolet06 and irishpipes.

I also think that you may want to get involved in a group for older students on campus. And, if there is not one, then start one. I'm sure that you are not the only non-traditional older student on campus.

I think what you are feeling is this strong need to "belong" and "bond". I think that is what you saw with the Greek Ball on your campus - people of like interest coming together for a great event.

If your campus is like my undergrad campus, Texas A&M, then it should not be too difficult to start an organization. At A&M all you needed to start was at least 5 people, a set of by-laws (and if you did not have one, the school provided a generic fill-in-the-blank version), and an on campus adviser.

Or, maybe you can reach out to other female students in your age group to see if they would be interested in joining BSPhi.

I think that you have a lot of potential, you just need to tap into it.
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  #13  
Old 11-18-2012, 09:03 PM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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I don't think you need to start a campus organization. There are plenty of activities at your school. You need to keep making friends in real life and stay busy and enjoy your campus. Something will click. I'm sorry collegiate Greek Life didn't work out, but keep moving forward. Take the venting offline to a counselor who can provide some strategic advice to help you move past the disappointment.
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  #14  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:11 PM
misscherrypie misscherrypie is offline
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Thank you everyone for your feedback and responses. I'd respond in further detail, but school work and assignments and other responsibilities are keeping me extremely busy over the past few days....so much so that I'm looking forward with longing to the Thanksgiving break and a few days to relax with friends and good food.

Just wanted to let you all know that I did read everyone's wise responses and that I didn't just flounce out and bail because I didn't like what people had to say or anything.

:-)

PS: I realized when another GC poster pointed it out that I'd never corrected the time zone on my profile, so it looked like I was posting at 3am, when it was really many hours earlier here in the West.
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Last edited by misscherrypie; 11-19-2012 at 05:14 PM.
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  #15  
Old 11-19-2012, 10:01 PM
misscherrypie misscherrypie is offline
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Greek Life Org members are around in numbers in the places where I usually spend my time on campus: In class, in the Knowledge Center (what we call a library) and in the Student Union. People congregate in specific areas. There are some places on campus that I've NEVER been around simply because there is no reason for me to be there...such as the math or science center because I completed my science requirements before I transferred, and won't take math courses until next Fall; or the Engineering buildings because I'm not an Engineering major.

The best case scenario would be to find other places to study....but as I said earlier in this thread: it was an instant reaction to an uncommon occurrence. I was more surprised at "feeling" the way I did for a few minutes, that was all. It does point to other issues at hand that are currently being dealt with.

Thank you for your advice bugger, and everyone who has responded to this thread. :-D
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