Your Opinion:How Many Recs are Too Many?

[carnation]

OK guys, your opinion is needed! A PNM is rushing at a small school. She got 2 recs for each group. An alum of 1 group offered to write a third one and PNM Mom thanked her but said they thought they had it covered.

Third Alum got extremely upset and wanted to know why they didn't want her to write a rec. She insisted that her sorority has a point system in which the girls get extra points for more recs. (Betting here that the SEC chapters would die if they read that.) I think she pulled that out of her rear.

Anyway, Third Alum is being unpleasant enough that they're afraid that she might try to tank the PNM's rush. How would you deal with this situation?

[Sciencewoman]

She sounds pretty prickly. She doesn't have to have the PNM's permission to write one, so it's better to play ball, so she doesn't get mad and send in a "no rec." I don't even think I'd suggest a letter of support as a compromise -- I'd just graciously thank her for her expertise and let her write it.

Soothing her hurt feelings is more important than having the chapter get an extra rec. From her view, she's hoping PNM will become her sister and she wants to play a role. I say, let her.

[AOIILisa]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

She sounds pretty prickly. She doesn't have to have the PNM's permission to write one, so it's better to play ball, so she doesn't get mad and send in a "no rec." I don't even think I'd suggest a letter of support as a compromise -- I'd just graciously thank her for her expertise and let her write it.

Soothing her hurt feelings is more important than having the chapter get an extra rec. From her view, she's hoping PNM will become her sister and she wants to play a role. I say, let her.

I agree with Sciencewoman - the extra rec couldn't hurt, but declining the extra rec could.

[amIblue?]

I agree with the posters above, but my word, what a whacked out alumna!

[carnation]

I can't imagine why she would say that her GLO gives extra points for each rec. The SEC chapters would probably collapse under the weight of all the recs and would you want to be the recruitment chair if that were so?

[thetalady]

Tell her to pull out her best acting skills and tell the prickly alumna...

"Oh, my GOODNESS... we had no idea that kind of point system existed! We are so grateful for your advice. What would my Little Miss PNM have done without you? We would appreciate your recommendation so much!"

I think sucking up and a little flattery will go a long way to be sure that this alumna fires off a good recommendation.

[navane]

Originally Posted by Jen

Totally agree - flatter, flatter, flatter, make it look like you're a dumb newb with no idea, make crazy pants feel like the most knowledgeable thing on planet earth and have her send in the rec.

+1

"My apologies. We're so overwhelmed trying to figure out this whole recruitment thing and there's so much that we don't know about the process. Thank you so much for offering your guidance. We would very much appreciate your recommendation!"

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by carnation

I can't imagine why she would say that her GLO gives extra points for each rec. The SEC chapters would probably collapse under the weight of all the recs and would you want to be the recruitment chair if that were so?

Well, I was going to put "expertise" in sarcastic quotation marks, but I decided not to. Until now. I don't think that well-intentioned, but out-of-the-loop, alumnae are that unusual (judging from some of the questions we get here).

I think the alumna "volunteer" who is our Alumnae Recommendation Coordinator (ARC) for Alabama has a full-time job on her hands. Seriously...I think she must need a truck to deliver the recs!

[Titchou]

Absolutely, Sciencewoman! And just think about this. If by some weird fluke every Alabama PNM got 2 recs each that would be approximately 4600 pieces of mail to EACH CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!! Open, read, sort, file, etc, etc, etc...just going to the mailbox is overwhelming

[Cheerio]

bump

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by Jen

Totally agree - flatter, flatter, flatter, make it look like you're a dumb newb with no idea, make crazy pants feel like the most knowledgeable thing on planet earth and have her send in the rec.

Yep. And send a handwritten thank you note after a little time has elapsed.