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08-27-2015, 04:59 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 4
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My daughter is devastated and I don't know what to do
Heya y'all,
My daughter tried to rush a SEC school and ended up cut from her legacy house and then decided to drop out of recruitment. She was so set on going to my house that she had blinders on and was heartbroken when they didn't invite her to pref.
I tried to prepare her for cuts because I know huge cuts can happen but she took that one cut much more personally than I thought she would. I didn't realize she had fallen in love with the house so much and I hope I didn't set her up for unrealistic expectations. She's attending my alma mater so I felt like this should have hurt me more than it hurt her, but I've volunteered with local chapters for a while and see how they can change over time and I understand not everyone fits in at their mom's chapter.
My daughter is devastated and I'm at a loss at how to help her with her feelings. It's heartbreaking to watch your child be so sad and there isn't anything you can do about it.
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08-27-2015, 05:15 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 26
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I am sure you are hating this for her as we all want our children to settle into school with a great start, but this is one of those times in life that will help her be a better person going forward (even if she is not feeling that way right now). I would encourage her to get involved in other activities around campus and focus on getting to know other people through these groups and activities. I know several girls who re-rushed (at prominent, competitive recruitment SEC schools) and were successful the second time around. Many times I feel this is because they get to know girls in different groups, then those girls can go to bat for them when they go back through the process. Plus, it is an opportunity for your daughter to see a group she may actually fit in better with for the future. I hope she can make peace with her bad experience and use it as a growth opportunity for next year! Best wishes!!!
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08-27-2015, 05:16 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbrokenmom
Heya y'all,
My daughter tried to rush a SEC school and ended up cut from her legacy house and then decided to drop out of recruitment. She was so set on going to my house that she had blinders on and was heartbroken when they didn't invite her to pref.
I tried to prepare her for cuts because I know huge cuts can happen but she took that one cut much more personally than I thought she would. I didn't realize she had fallen in love with the house so much and I hope I didn't set her up for unrealistic expectations. She's attending my alma mater so I felt like this should have hurt me more than it hurt her, but I've volunteered with local chapters for a while and see how they can change over time and I understand not everyone fits in at their mom's chapter.
My daughter is devastated and I'm at a loss at how to help her with her feelings. It's heartbreaking to watch your child be so sad and there isn't anything you can do about it.
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I'm sorry to hear that!
Give her time to be upset.
If you're close enough to drive down, maybe take her to go do something fun that has zero to do with anything Greek Life.
Don't push the "Why don't you COR or rush next year?" issue (if that is even an option. I don't know what school you're at.)
__________________
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Lakers Nation.
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08-27-2015, 05:25 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2000
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If she is planning to re-rush, have her sign up for COB (open rush, as we called it back in the day). And if you're talking about next year, she needs to make as many sorority friends as possible and get high grades. It helps to join clubs that have a lot of Greek members!
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08-27-2015, 05:21 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Bryan, TX
Posts: 1,034
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You hit it.
"There isn't anything you can do about it."
She made her choice not to be greek.
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When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.-Einstein
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08-27-2015, 05:33 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Back in the Heartland
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And I wouldn't want to be TOO enthusiastic about this, but growth is exploding at virtually all of the SEC schools. There may well be a colony on the horizon. And the SEC is also good about upper classmen quotas. If she tries again next year (with a bit more open mind - I wouldn't expect your chapter to change their mind) it is not a deal-breaker.
But I wouldn't be cramming all that down her throat right now. Give her time to heal on her own, make friends in the various chapters, etc. She'll discover that the best and worst really are not that far apart, that rush is a bubble and she really took it more seriously than she needed to. But saying that out loud right now might cause you to lose a limb.
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08-27-2015, 05:49 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 756
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Informal rush would be a great option if she is still interested. Formal rush at an SEC can be a whirlwind...er tornado. lol Informal is a WAY more laid back process and IMO lets you get to know the sisters better. As long as she's open minded as to orgs, she prob would do well.
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08-27-2015, 06:00 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Big D
Posts: 3,008
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What a terrible shame that she dropped out of rush when she still had invitations
Yes, some girls might have a successful attempt their sophomore year, but at the most competitive schools, that is more the exception than the rule. Even upperclass quotas can be iffy. Chapters MAY utilize them, but they do not have to.
You have a great attitude about the whole thing, Heartbrokenmom. I am really sorry that this happened to your DD. She made the choice and she has to deal with the results. After she has had a chance to grieve the loss, encourage her to get involved in other activities. There will be plenty of other things to do!
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08-27-2015, 06:05 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2000
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Can you tell us which school so we could tell you whether they have a new sorority coming and if they currently have sophomore quota?
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08-27-2015, 06:48 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 3,598
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According to irishpipes’ chapter listing thread, these are the upcoming SEC colonizations.
apologies for any missed colonization
Alabama – open for expansion
Arkansas – n/a
Auburn – Delta Phi Epsilon, Sigma Sigma Sigma to present (unknown date for colonization)
Florida – Gamma Phi Beta (2015), Alpha Phi (2017)
Georgia – Delta Phi Epsilon (2015), Alpha Phi (2017)
Kentucky – Alpha Chi Omega (2015), Gamma Phi Beta (2017)
Louisiana State – Alpha Delta Pi (2016)
Mississippi – Alpha Phi (2015)
Mississippi State – n/a
Missouri – n/a
South Carolina – Alpha Xi Delta (2016)
Tennessee – n/a
Texas A&M – Alpha Epsilon Phi (2015)
Vanderbilt – n/a
edited to update colonization information
Last edited by TSteven; 08-27-2015 at 08:24 PM.
Reason: update colonization information
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08-27-2015, 07:03 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 938
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I am sorry. Let her talk, vent, give her space. In these large schools, during recruitment, it can seem as if EVERYONE is Greek, but in reality, most people are not. When she's ready to listen, encourage her to join something she loves, throw herself into classes/academics, and let friendships in the dorm and on campus happen naturally. COB is a possibility on some campuses, but not all.
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08-27-2015, 07:39 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TSteven
According to irishpipes chapter listing thread, these are the upcoming SEC colonizations.
apologies for any missed colonizations
Alabama open for expansion
Arkansas Alpha Gamma Delta, Delta Zeta presented/presenting (unknown date for colonization)
Auburn Delta Phi Epsilon, Sigma Sigma Sigma to present (unknown date for colonization)
Florida Gamma Phi Beta (2015), Alpha Phi (2017)
Georgia Delta Phi Epsilon (2015), Alpha Phi (2017)
Kentucky Alpha Chi Omega (2015), Gamma Phi Beta (2017)
Louisiana State Alpha Delta Pi (2016)
Mississippi Alpha Phi (2015)
Mississippi State n/a
Missouri n/a
South Carolina Alpha Xi Delta (2016)
Tennessee n/a
Texas A&M Alpha Epsilon Phi (unknown date for colonization)
Vanderbilt n/a
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AEPhi is colonizing at TAMU now! They're doing informal recruitment though.
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08-27-2015, 07:59 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Reddest of the red
Posts: 4,509
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TSteven
According to irishpipes chapter listing thread, these are the upcoming SEC colonizations.
apologies for any missed colonizations
Alabama open for expansion
Arkansas Alpha Gamma Delta, Delta Zeta presented/presenting (unknown date for colonization)
Auburn Delta Phi Epsilon, Sigma Sigma Sigma to present (unknown date for colonization)
Florida Gamma Phi Beta (2015), Alpha Phi (2017)
Georgia Delta Phi Epsilon (2015), Alpha Phi (2017)
Kentucky Alpha Chi Omega (2015), Gamma Phi Beta (2017)
Louisiana State Alpha Delta Pi (2016)
Mississippi Alpha Phi (2015)
Mississippi State n/a
Missouri n/a
South Carolina Alpha Xi Delta (2016)
Tennessee n/a
Texas A&M Alpha Epsilon Phi (unknown date for colonization)
Vanderbilt n/a
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Neither group was selected at Arkansas and it is no longer open.
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Adding 's does not make a word, not even an acronym, plural
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08-27-2015, 07:38 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Out in Left Field
Posts: 7,510
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thetalady
What a terrible shame that she dropped out of rush when she still had invitations
I am really sorry that this happened to your DD. She made the choice and she has to deal with the results.
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Well stated. As we go through life we make mistakes and hopefully learn from them.
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08-27-2015, 06:38 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Back home in FLA
Posts: 782
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So sorry to hear that she's devastated at the moment. I think when all settles down she will decide to go back through and look closely at the other groups. By then she may see that the other houses could even be a better fit for HER.
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