Do you.... - Page 3

essenceofomega · #31 07-16-2003, 09:43 PM

I read this post and just had to throw in my two cents. I belong to a social fellowship, almost like sorority but not quite, anyway, I am bi-sexual and was not out while and interest. My sisters all know now and have no problem with it. We have interests for our Fall line ie, pledge class, and both are lesbians and very open about it. I dont feel that your sexuality should be apart of the criteria and should be a reason for people being cut. At my school we have gay men in fraternities and lesbian women in sororities, I guess my school is just really open about the GLBT community here.

Buttonz · #32 07-16-2003, 10:05 PM

It's great to see that so many of you out there really don't care....and we had two sisters who showed up to formal with thier 'dates' but it was fine

AXWhoah · #33 07-16-2003, 10:59 PM

Okay well I am gonna speak up for those of us who WOULD be uncomfortable with a gay woman in our sorority. I refuse to believe that this makes me a bad person. It's not that I don't think that gay people are perfectly wonderful human beings it's just that I don't really agree with their lifestyle. Like I said before, it makes me uncomfortable. I mean I have had gay friends (okay well one, and really only an aquaintance) but I'd be open to the oppertunity as having them as a friend but not as a sister. My sisters range in enicity from black to white to indian, in religion from aethist to catholic to jewish, and every body type imaginable so I don't want to hear about how I am closed minded. And I can say with almost 100% certainty that on my campus having a lesbian member would kill your reputation. But that's just how it is on my campus.

FAB*SpiceySpice · #34 07-16-2003, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXWhoah
Okay well I am gonna speak up for those of us who WOULD be uncomfortable with a gay woman in our sorority. I refuse to believe that this makes me a bad person. It's not that I don't think that gay people are perfectly wonderful human beings it's just that I don't really agree with their lifestyle. Like I said before, it makes me uncomfortable. I mean I have had gay friends (okay well one, and really only an aquaintance) but I'd be open to the oppertunity as having them as a friend but not as a sister. My sisters range in enicity from black to white to indian, in religion from aethist to catholic to jewish, and every body type imaginable so I don't want to hear about how I am closed minded. And I can say with almost 100% certainty that on my campus having a lesbian member would kill your reputation. But that's just how it is on my campus.

I am going to speak up and agree with you here. I don't think my chapter would necessarily reject a girl solely b/c she was gay but then again we've never been in that situation. However last semester there were some rumors floating around the house that such and such girl did something with this girl and they both claimed to be openly bisexual. Now one of those girls has since left our house and I know that the majority of people that know about this other girl and her sexuality are a quite uncomfortable with it. And this is just bisexuality we're talking about here. I too think that on *my particular campus* that if you had one very active and openly gay member you would quickly become known as the "lesbian sorority" but that is just the way my campus is. And other people who go to my school may not agree with me. I have only met one guy in a fraternity down here who was openly gay and absolutely no openly gay sorority girls. I really don't honestly know how my sisters would handle it but I think it would be rough b/c I know many girls wouldn't want to get that stigma attached to our name. It's very confusing and while some people have certain opinions a lot of times we have to act in the manner that seems to be best for the well being of our sorority as a whole. But like I said, my campus is different from all of yours, we have a competitive greek system and things like this can make or break you and I'd hate to lose my chapter b/c of something like this.

And AXWoah...thanks for speaking up.

AXO_MOM_3 · #35 07-17-2003, 12:20 AM

We actually had a gay member of our school newspaper to through recruitment a few years ago. She ended up getting cut from every sorority. The problem was that she was doing a story on sorority women and whether or not they would pledge a gay woman. She was cut from my chapter due to her reasons for going through recruitment, not because she was gay. The girls decided that she was going through recruitment for the wrong reasons, and as such, chose not to use one of our bid spaces on her. She was going through for a story, not to find a sisterhood. I think having a gay member would create some issues for any chapter.

hottytoddy · #36 07-17-2003, 12:27 AM

It was brought to our attention during rush this past year that a PNM might be homosexual. While my sorority doesn't discriminate against anyone because of race, sexual preference, etc...I think many of the members would feel uncomfortable with a member who would potentially be attracted to them. No one ever found out if this girl was in fact a homosexual..but she pledged another house. But I think it is definitely difficult to not feel differently is you find out that a PNM is homosexual, although it is illegal to discriminate.

essenceofomega · #37 07-17-2003, 12:38 AM

Everyone will have a different opinion of this and that is to be respected, but I feel that if you look at someone differently because of who they sleep with, thats ridiculous, my campus is very open so for me its different. And just because you are accpeting of a black, member, catholic member doesnt mean you are not closed minded, because when it comes to homosexuality you are, no offence.

And its sad when in 2003 we cant accept our sisters because they might be gay and we disapprove of their lifestyle, I mean I have straight sisters that I totally disagree with their lifestyles, but they are still MY SISTERS, through thick and thin. Those are just my two cents, and if I offended anyone those were not my intentions, this topic is just a bit personal to me.

AXWhoah · #38 07-17-2003, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Everyone will have a different opinion of this and that is to be respected, but I feel that if you look at someone differently because of who they sleep with, thats ridiculous, my campus is very open so for me its different. And just because you are accpeting of a black, member, catholic member doesnt mean you are not closed minded, because when it comes to homosexuality you are, no offence. And its sad when in 2003 we cant accept our sisters because they might be gay and we disapprove of their lifestyle, I mean I have straight sisters that I totally disagree with their lifestyles, but they are still MY SISTERS, through thick and thin. Those are just my two cents, and if I offended anyone those were not my intentions, this topic is just a bit personal to me.

A girl should always be able to feel her most comfortable around her sisters. And I think that even though a lesbian sorority member may not be attracted to her sisters there is always that potential there. I mean put me in a group with 150 men I am bound to find one of them attractive. Knowing that that potential is there is what makes some of us feel uncomfortable. So I am not closed minded, thank you.

FAB*SpiceySpice · #39 07-17-2003, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXWhoah
A girl should always be able to feel her most comfortable around her sisters. And I think that even though a lesbian sorority member may not be attracted to her sisters there is always that potential there. I mean put me in a group with 150 men I am bound to find one of them attractive. Knowing that that potential is there is what makes some of us feel uncomfortable. So I am not closed minded, thank you.

Well put! I don't think of myself as closed minded at all. I am pretty sure I know what campus AXWoah is from and it's similar to mine in some respects. Campus climate has a lot to do with it, trust me. I don't want a girl in my house who's going to be uncomfortable and I am just being honest when I'm saying that she might feel a little bit uncomfortable in my house and probably several others on my campus. Yes this is 2003 and I know everyone thinks that we should all be "above" discriminating those who are attracted to the same sex. And I'm glad that you guys are so optomistic in thinking that everyone should and does think like this but you know what, MANY parts of the country are much worse than even my school when it comes to this. I'm from the Midwest and I go to school here, I don't generally tend to think our thinking is as forward as a place like LA or NYC or something. We don't discriminate, but everyone in my sorority is allowed to their own opinion. Some people in my house have never even met a homosexual person and they might not feel that they know how to act. All I'm saying is that to each their own, we don't discriminate, but I am pretty sure most of my chapter wouldn't be comfortable with the idea. Whoever started this thread hopefully wanted honest opinions and though AXWoah and I went against the majority doesn't mean our thinking is wrong. I'm sorry if this sounds bitchy it's not meant too, I am so sleepy right now. Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anybody, just trying to help people get a better understanding of what I think.

BTW, I cleaned out my PM box AXWoah

pinkyphimu · #40 07-17-2003, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXWhoah
Knowing that that potential is there is what makes some of us feel uncomfortable. So I am not closed minded, thank you.

actually, that is exactly what makes you closed minded. i am sure that you are surrounded by more people who are gay or bi than you think. i am sure they wouldn't "come out" to you bc they already know your opinion.

let's say you are in a work place...there is someone that you are really attracted to, but your job has a no- dating policy....what do you do? you get over it!!!

i know many gay/lesbian/bi people whom i consider to be very good friends. they would not join a sorority to "meet" people to date. they are looking for the same bonds of friendship and family that you are. what if your biological sibling was gay/lesbian/bi? would you turn your back on them? would you worry that they would want to date your friends? no, you would love them for WHO THEY ARE. give people a chance! you might even like what you find underneath their "gayness."

oh, someone mentioned gay fraternities...there are also sororities founded by lesbian women for lesbian women...i wish i could remember their names.

pinkyphimu · #41 07-17-2003, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FAB*SpiceySpice
We don't discriminate, but everyone in my sorority is allowed to their own opinion. Some people in my house have never even met a homosexual person and they might not feel that they know how to act. All I'm saying is that to each their own, we don't discriminate, but I am pretty sure most of my chapter wouldn't be comfortable with the idea.

but that is discrimination.....

why would you just have to act differently? it is not like a disease....you aren't going to "catch it."

i do agree that on some campuses, this would NOT fly. i agree that at more conservative schools, chapters would fold if they pledged a gay/lesbian/bi member. this does not make it right!

absolutuscchick · #42 07-17-2003, 01:49 AM

I think the thing that everyone is worrying about is that girls will date within the house. But honestly, that would totally cause alot of problems within the house. I can't imagine being in a house where there is the potential that my sister might hit on me. However, I feel that a sister shouldn't ever date one of her SISTERS because they are just that, sisters. You don't date your biological sister do you? I think as long as everyone knows that, it would really be alot less of a problem. But if the sister wanted to date another sister who was also bi or a lesbian, that would REALLY bother me, and I would definitely feel uncomftorable being in a house where two of my sisters were dating.
I hope that didn't sound ridiculously close minded!

Munchkin03 · #43 07-17-2003, 02:24 AM

We have co-ed fraternities, and those chapters are known for the dating that goes on within them. I think a lot of those couples started before they joined, and it's something they did as a couple (at my school, they are the creepiest folks on campus). I think this is a rarity, and not too many gay and lesbian Greeks will consider their respective organization a "meat market." I think that is a fear perpetrated by those insecure with their own sexualities, but then, that's just me.

hottytoddy · #44 07-17-2003, 02:28 AM

Well I think location has a lot to do with it. I go to school in the Bible Belt. Homosexuality is just not as common where I am. So perhaps that is why some people are uncomfortable with it also. I have lived in the sorority house for the past 2 years, and it was not uncommon for me to walk around half naked and not think twice about it. I like being able to do that. I think that if I were surrounded by homosexuals I would feel more uncomfortable doing this. How are we to know a girl's intentions in joining a sorority? Because I guaruntee you if it were a straight guy living in a house full of girls that he could be attracted to, the last thing on his mind would be forming sisterly bonds. But I understand everyone's point of view and respect other people's opinions.

Moxie · #45 07-17-2003, 03:47 AM

several of my closet friends are gay/lesbians. it has NEVER been an issue. i would undress in front of them the same way i would undress in front of my straight friends. friends are just that, FRIENDS. they respect each other. more often than not, homosexuals DO NOT hit on or are overly attracted to straight people. they know you aren't interested, and probably aren't interested in you that way, either. friends respect boundaries and i would say that frats and sororities should be about friendship. also, one should not assume that a homosexual joins a GLO to hook up with their brothers or sisters. they do it to MAKE FRIENDS and have a GOOD TIME. gay people and straight people have always been friends - this should be no different.