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Sorority Recruitment Recruitment event and bid day ideas, membership retention, publicity, recruitment policies, etc.


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  #1  
Old 10-02-2017, 10:09 AM
NerdyGreek NerdyGreek is offline
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Something needs to change

When recruitment ends and the advice freely being given out is, "Nobody likes their house at first; you'll learn to like it" I feel like something has to change.

My daughter is contemplating de-pledging. So are many of her friends. She's talked to about a dozen girls she was friends with going into rush. Two got into sororities they actually wanted. The other ~10 got bids for houses they didn't like. We're not talking 2nd choices; we're talking houses that were low on the pref lists after the first two rounds. One of her friends has to de-pledge because she got a bid for one of the most expensive sororities - and she can't afford it. (It's over $1000/year more than the one my daughter is in.)

I blame variable quota and RFM. Girls are dropped left and right early on, and are forbidden from dropping houses (they can only rank) which is how you end up with girls in houses they can't afford. Then you have situations like one of D's friends who was dropped by all the houses except ABC because her sister was an ABC at the school. No one asked her if she liked her sister and wanted to be in the same sorority with her. (The answer would have been "no.") It's only the second year of using this combo and I've got to question whether it's the right thing to be doing. I feel like the effort to even house sizes and maximize the number of bids given out is creating artificial groupings of girls who have surviving the process as the sole thing they have in common.

I'm wondering if anyone else involved with a school that uses variable quota and RFM has seen problems with retention?
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  #2  
Old 10-02-2017, 11:32 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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First off: if you can't afford the most expensive chapter, you shouldn't rush. Also know that different chapters handle financial matters differently. Some have one big fee that covers everything, some have individual fees for formal and such.

As far as RFM being the bad guy...say girls could drop whoever they want. Eventually sororities would close because of low numbers. There would be fewer and fewer groups until there were 3 chapters of 1000 or something ridiculous.

And you know what? A lot of those girls would have probably ended up in the same place even WITHOUT RFM. The difference is, they would have been strung along until pref night by a sorority that in reality they had zero chance of being asked to join. If you find that preferable, we can get rid of RFM tomorrow.
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Last edited by 33girl; 10-02-2017 at 11:38 AM.
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  #3  
Old 10-02-2017, 12:15 PM
NerdyGreek NerdyGreek is offline
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Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
First off: if you can't afford the most expensive chapter, you shouldn't rush.
That seems awfully harsh. Especially when some chapters have dues that are over $4000/year and don't include living in the house. Why can't affordability be part of the pref/selection criteria? When my daughter signed up for recruitment (and paid over $100 to do so), neither one of us had any idea what the dues were for chapters at the school she is attending. There's a huge range in dues/mandatory fees, too.

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Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
As far as RFM being the bad guy...say girls could drop whoever they want. Eventually sororities would close because of low numbers. There would be fewer and fewer groups until there were 3 chapters of 1000 or something ridiculous.

And you know what? A lot of those girls would have probably ended up in the same place even WITHOUT RFM. The difference is, they would have been strung along until pref night by a sorority that in reality they had zero chance of being asked to join. If you find that preferable, we can get rid of RFM tomorrow.
Back when I was in college, each of the sororities on my campus had their own personality. Recruitment really felt like it was a matching process. More social girls were attracted to one house, another had a much more artsy flair, one was more academic, etc. Houses might evolve, and reputations changed over time, but they were not just randomized groups of girls having to get along. No upper classmen were telling us that "nobody likes their sorority at first." like they are telling my daughter and her friends. And it's not like they all wanted the same house and are disappointed, they all had different favorites.

Bid Day should be more joyful than it is. (I watched a video of one of the other houses on her campus on Bid Day where the recruitment chair is reading the list of bids to actives and there aren't a lot of smiles and cheers. It's a lot of stone faces, questioning looks and a few "who?" are visible. Dissatisfaction is on both sides.)
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  #4  
Old 10-02-2017, 12:28 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Seven of my daughters have rushed, and I have mixed feelings about RFM. On the one hand, more girls are getting bids and the stronger groups are being forced to drop girls earlier whom they would've strung along until pref parties back in the day. These girls didn't get bids and they never knew what hit them because the sororities had seemed to show interest in them.

On the other hand, my main memory of rush back in the day is that quota was set early, which meant that the stronger groups had huge quotas and pledge classes and the others often folded, one by one. I would never want that again.
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  #5  
Old 10-02-2017, 04:05 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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Originally Posted by carnation View Post
On the other hand, my main memory of rush back in the day is that quota was set early, which meant that the stronger groups had huge quotas and pledge classes and the others often folded, one by one. I would never want that again.
Me neither. I graduated right before RFM was put in place. From rushing my freshman year until graduation, my campus lost 3 chapters and almost a 4th due to low numbers. My pledge class had 70ish girls and the chapter that folded that year plesdged something like 5. A pretty large percentage of pnms were left bidless at the end of the week. The disparity was tremendous and it weakened the entire Greek system.

The campus' solution was to give up on the dying chapters and start fresh with new colonies. One chapter colonized my junior year. The campus has now brought on 3 more chapters over the last 18 years. Under RFM, every chapter is healthy and even that 4th chapter that has struggled for 18 years has seen its membership grow significantly. They still rarely make quota but they're missing it by 5-10 not by 40-50, and they have the support of Panhellenic.
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  #6  
Old 10-02-2017, 12:51 PM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NerdyGreek View Post
Bid Day should be more joyful than it is. (I watched a video of one of the other houses on her campus on Bid Day where the recruitment chair is reading the list of bids to actives and there aren't a lot of smiles and cheers. It's a lot of stone faces, questioning looks and a few "who?" are visible. Dissatisfaction is on both sides.)

That is quite surprising, that someone posted a video of that. Bear in mind those actives are exhausted and sleep deprived, just for starters. I wouldn't go so far as to say "dissatisfaction is on both sides", but that's my experience based on decades of volunteering. I don't remember cheers or much energy at all. Everyone was wiped out.

Not sure what campus your daughter is at. At many large campuses (Alabama, Arizona come to mind and I know there are many others) there is a publication which lists, among other things, the typical costs for each chapter. The Arizona publication is called "The Bond". I saw the one for Alabama and was impressed.
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Last edited by AZTheta; 10-02-2017 at 01:03 PM.
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  #7  
Old 10-02-2017, 01:42 PM
NerdyGreek NerdyGreek is offline
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Originally Posted by AZTheta View Post
Not sure what campus your daughter is at. At many large campuses (Alabama, Arizona come to mind and I know there are many others) there is a publication which lists, among other things, the typical costs for each chapter. The Arizona publication is called "The Bond". I saw the one for Alabama and was impressed.
I would love to see something like this at every school. It's kinda hush-hush on my daughter's campus. They were shown a sheet during rush, but were not allowed to keep a copy of it or even study it for a long time. We talked after every round and she couldn't remember a single figure on that sheet on the day she was shown it. One of the houses did take to asking questions about father's occupation, whether or not the student had a car on campus, and if so, what type. I'm guessing that was to weed out girls that they thought couldn't afford their dues.

The fees at this school run way above national average. My daughter's bill for first semester (not living in the house) is just a tiny bit shy of $2000. Others are over $2500. They must eat meals at the house, but cannot change the campus meal plan they've bought that's required when living in the dorms. We're in serious "Is it worth it?" discussions right now. If she really liked the house, rather than just a handful of girls in her pledge class, I think we wouldn't be questioning it so much.
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  #8  
Old 10-02-2017, 01:44 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Is this an SEC school?
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  #9  
Old 10-02-2017, 01:59 PM
DGTess DGTess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTheta View Post
Bear in mind those actives are exhausted and sleep deprived, just for starters.
Hmmmmmmm.....

I thought that was considered hazing.
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  #10  
Old 10-02-2017, 02:58 PM
PearlGirl13 PearlGirl13 is offline
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Originally Posted by DGTess View Post
Hmmmmmmm.....

I thought that was considered hazing.
What she means is that the actives aren't getting enough sleep - up early to get ready, a full day of parties followed by member selection, practice for the next round, dinner, socializing with their sisters (add a dash of Netflix and social media surfing but not posting) and finally to bed only to do it all again the following day.

What she does not mean is that someone is depriving or forbidding these women from going to bed. That would be hazing.
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  #11  
Old 10-02-2017, 03:57 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by NerdyGreek View Post
That seems awfully harsh. Especially when some chapters have dues that are over $4000/year and don't include living in the house. Why can't affordability be part of the pref/selection criteria? When my daughter signed up for recruitment (and paid over $100 to do so), neither one of us had any idea what the dues were for chapters at the school she is attending. There's a huge range in dues/mandatory fees, too.

Back when I was in college, each of the sororities on my campus had their own personality. Recruitment really felt like it was a matching process. More social girls were attracted to one house, another had a much more artsy flair, one was more academic, etc. Houses might evolve, and reputations changed over time, but they were not just randomized groups of girls having to get along. No upper classmen were telling us that "nobody likes their sorority at first." like they are telling my daughter and her friends.
How large were the chapters at your school?

Also re costs, we had a mom on here a few years back who basically wanted to know how her daughter could opt out of the more expensive chapters. The point is you (you = who ever is paying, be it parents or student) can't say "well, I just won't like the expensive chapter." Rush doesn't work that way.
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  #12  
Old 10-02-2017, 06:41 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Originally Posted by NerdyGreek View Post
Bid Day should be more joyful than it is. (I watched a video of one of the other houses on her campus on Bid Day where the recruitment chair is reading the list of bids to actives and there aren't a lot of smiles and cheers. It's a lot of stone faces, questioning looks and a few "who?" are visible. Dissatisfaction is on both sides.)
If it's the video I saw, it was at a school that just finished rushing while going to classes every day. Talk about exhausting and stressful! What I saw were girls listening closely and likely trying to figure out who the new pledges are. This sorority has 400 members so it's not like every member would know every pledge. I remember when I was an active and heard the list called out that I was trying to remember faces and such. So no, I would not have looked perky the entire time. And yes, girls will have looks of disappointment. They work very hard to win girls over and it is very disappointing when they pledge elsewhere. I was just going through a college yearbook and saw four girls that my chapter "lost" (they preffed us and one other) and I well remembered how bummed several of us were. That's natural!

I do support RFM because I saw girls held onto untiL pref and then get released. With RFM girls get released early enough to seriously consider another house. I had friends go through pre-RFM scenario and their pain and shock was awful.

And I echo giving the house more than a few weeks. There are 400 girls in houses at Ole Miss (I'm pretty sure this is where your daughter is) and one can't possibly have a sense this soon. Some girls do, but not all. And don't even think about re-rushing as a sophomore. Rarely ever successful plus many chapters have a "once cut, always cut" policy which means she would be cut again.

Last edited by NYCMS; 10-02-2017 at 10:00 PM.
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  #13  
Old 10-02-2017, 09:52 PM
tcsparky tcsparky is offline
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RFM

I remember on my campus, which had 4 chapters, women could get invited back to all 4 during the first invite round for Philanthropy, then 3 to Sisterhood/Skits, then 2 for Pref. Chapters invited however many they wanted for Pref. Getting cut from both was a real thing. I knew MANY women who were so excited to get invited back to the "popular" chapters, had stars in their eyes, were already mentally picking out dorm decor and dating a handsome fraternity guy (still mentally)- because a bid to one of these two chapters opened up doors for the members. Only to get "the call" on Bid Day morning to not come to the Student Union. Or getting a late night call about a "snap bid" to the chapter they had been glad to see off their list. So, while 2 of the chapters stayed at 90 members, and one of them hovered around 75-80, the 4th chapter struggled with 50 or so members. Until it closed.

I think that with RFM, more women would have gone back to the chapter, more women would have ended up joining it, and gradually their reputation could have evolved. Instead........

If a woman has joined a chapter of 400 and can't find any friends, the issue is her- her perception, her desires, what she is looking for....there is no way a woman honestly cannot find a core group of like-minded women in a pool of 400 unless she is deliberately closing herself off from opportunity. That's just crazy.

And, OP, no one here is saying that NO ONE likes their chapter at first. We're just saying that the magical moments that happened in Recruitment now give way to tired girls who just want to sleep, catch up on school work so they don't end up on Probation, and maybe try to get to know the new women in their "free time." We're saying that once the reality of sorority membership arrives, it's not all squeals, and chants and glitter. It's real women getting to know one another, hopefully in a meaningful way. To feel truly a part of the organization (notice I didn't say apart!!!) takes time. Time to assimilate, to learn, to bond, to get used to seeing yourself in letters and incorporating what they mean into your own persona. It takes TIME. And 2 weeks is NOT enough time. I think that even the New Member period is too short for many women to have "that feeling." That's why many women say that they didn't feel truly bonded to the sorority until they lived in the house, and being immersed in the sorority was part of their day to day lives.
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Last edited by tcsparky; 10-02-2017 at 09:54 PM. Reason: crumbs under the keyboard causing strange spellings
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  #14  
Old 10-02-2017, 04:38 PM
irishpipes irishpipes is offline
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Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
First off: if you can't afford the most expensive chapter, you shouldn't rush. Also know that different chapters handle financial matters differently. Some have one big fee that covers everything, some have individual fees for formal and such.

As far as RFM being the bad guy...say girls could drop whoever they want. Eventually sororities would close because of low numbers. There would be fewer and fewer groups until there were 3 chapters of 1000 or something ridiculous.

And you know what? A lot of those girls would have probably ended up in the same place even WITHOUT RFM. The difference is, they would have been strung along until pref night by a sorority that in reality they had zero chance of being asked to join. If you find that preferable, we can get rid of RFM tomorrow.
I think the bolded is ridiculous. If a PNM could afford, say, 9 of the 10 chapters, why not rush? Odds are she won't end up in the expensive one. If she does, she can cross that bridge when she gets there.
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Old 10-02-2017, 10:02 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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I think the bolded is ridiculous. If a PNM could afford, say, 9 of the 10 chapters, why not rush? Odds are she won't end up in the expensive one. If she does, she can cross that bridge when she gets there.
You can say up and down that you won't fall in love with the costliest chapter, but what if you do, and it's mutual, and you get a bid only to have to drop out because you can't afford it?

And too, it's not always the most popular/oldest-most established/biggest house chapter that ends up being the costliest.

IMO this is the kind of "it'll never happen to me" that does happen. If that makes me overly cautious, so be it.

Eta: And if for some reason the costs are not on the website or somewhere easily accessible, get on the horn to the Greek life office and ask. BEFORE rush week.
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Last edited by 33girl; 10-02-2017 at 10:07 PM.
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