Barbie’s Honest to God Authentic Retro Recruitment at a Very Competitive SEC School

Barbie's_Rush · #1 06-24-2009, 12:17 AM

Hello Greek Chat friends! My name is Barbie. After life as an astronaut,

doctor,

beauty queen (always beating out some persistent but unfortunate looking girl from Pearl, Missisippi)

and all around living doll, I decided to give college a try. This is the very true story of my recruitment at a very competitive SEC school. Obviously I have used code names and changed the number of chapters. I can’t have Greek Chatters discovering my true identity since I post here all the time under another name. But it’s real and authentic. I swear to God! There are approximately nine sororities at Competitive SEC University:

Bratz
Transformers
Liddle Kiddles
Cabbage Patch Kids
American Girls
Madame Alexanders
Jems
Rainbow Brites
Strawberry Shortcakes

I didn’t have any recommendations or letters of support because, let’s face it, I’m Barbie and I don’t need them. Midge, my best friend from high school, is rushing too. She is a super sweet girl but a little unfortunate in the looks and fashion sense departments. I certainly hope the houses do not cut dear sweet Midge!

So I put on my Lilly Pulitzer, because that’s what we do in the south you know, and headed off to recruitment.

As we leave the meeting hall for our parties, we notice some creepy old drunk guy on the sidewalk trying to get us to go to some web site to tell them our recruitment stories. I don’t really understand what he’s saying, but I think I hear something about ponies and rainbows. Our Rho Chi tells us to ignore him since he’s someone who comes back to campus over and over again in painful attempts to make himself relevant to sorority life. We scurry past him and head to our first party of the day!

minDyG · #2 06-24-2009, 12:22 AM

Good luck! Go Rainbow Brites!

unicorn · #3 06-24-2009, 12:27 AM

Excellent. I have been so bored this week.

violetpretty · #4 06-24-2009, 01:05 AM

violetpretty likes this.

I would say go American Girls, but they are probably too fat to be seen with the likes of Barbie.

loveandAOE · #5 06-24-2009, 01:18 AM

Finally someone with a sense of humor about rush! I'll pull for Rainbow Brites!

AnchorAlumna · #6 06-24-2009, 01:58 AM

Best recruitment story since Chuck Norris pledged DDD!!

Barbie's_Rush · #7 06-24-2009, 06:16 AM

Morning Parties

Bratz

The noise outside the house is huge. Some girls are scared but not me. I’m Barbie and I’m perfect! The Bratz have a reputation for being “popular” with the fraternities if you get my drift. There are even fraternity men at their party. They wear lots of makeup and trashy clothes. I also notice their heads are really huge. I don’t know if they just pledge all the big headed girls who come through recruitment or if something happens to normal headed girls during their ritual. I like my head just the way it is, thanks. So I don’t think I will be coming back here.

Transformers

These girls are a little stiff and robotic acting. They have a reputation for being athletic and they show me some super cool death ray moves where they turn some undesirable PNMs into puddles of goo. This makes them sort of like the Chuck Norris of sororities. Although I think it would be cool to learn skills like this, I’m not sure if I click with these girls and it’s hard to be athletic when you’re always wearing 5 inch heels.

Liddle Kiddles

The Kiddles are all very petite. They come up to my ankle. They have a super cute house, but I am forced to bend over when I am in there and I can’t stand up. I immediately know this will be a problem if I have to live there. I trip over one while I try to shake off a back spasm and end up poking her in the eye with my stiletto. I don’t think I will be asked back to this chapter. I really don’t care since they are middle tier, and I don’t want to have to worry about tripping over my sisters or chiropractic visits from stooping all the time.

Cabbage Patch Kids

This is the ugly fat girl house for sure. Sorry I have to be so brutally honest, but isn’t that what a retro thread is all about? They all look sort of immature too, almost infant like. No one wants to be a member of Cabbage Patch Kids, and we all can’t wait to leave. We spend most of our time ignoring them since they are quadruple rushing us so we get to munch on their food instead. Because that’s one thing the fat girl sorority has in their favor; they always have lots of really good food.

American Girls

These girls are top tier and preppy but have a serious reputation for hazing. Tent talk is they are really into circling the fat on their pledges. I’m not afraid though since I’m made of injection molded plastic so I am fat free and fabulous. I had a great time here and know I clicked with everyone.

Now it’s time for our lunch break! We’re all starving, but it’s so hard to eat. Midge loves all the houses we’ve visited so far. She’s just that kind of person. So far the American Girls and the Transformers are my favorites. But who will we meet this afternoon?

indygphib · #8 06-24-2009, 08:16 AM

Since this thread is truly outrageous, I'm going to root for Jem!

SydneyK · #9 06-24-2009, 08:45 AM

hijack

I don't know if it's the toy theme, the brutal honesty, the Earp reference or what, but I thought of this thread when I started reading this.

end hijack.

Carry on, Barbie.

gee_ess · #10 06-24-2009, 09:07 AM

I am rooting for Madame Alexanders because I am quite sure they are the classiest group and known to have "old money" which is, as we all know, very important in the South.

Love it, Barbie!

lovespink88 · #11 06-24-2009, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

As we leave the meeting hall for our parties, we notice some creepy old drunk guy on the sidewalk trying to get us to go to some web site to tell them our recruitment stories. I don’t really understand what he’s saying, but I think I hear something about ponies and rainbows. Our Rho Chi tells us to ignore him since he’s someone who comes back to campus over and over again in painful attempts to make himself relevant to sorority life. We scurry past him and head to our first party of the day!

Okay, I just lol'ed at that!

I've always been a fan so Go American Girls!!