How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by tld221

I have a hard time following the legacy/pref logic, so let me see if i understand this:

if a legacy PNM makes it through to pref, her legacy chapter HAS to put her on their bid list, like an automatic "you're in on our end, you just have to accept." regardless of where the PNM may rank her legacy chapter on her bid card. however, if the legacy PNM lists her legacy chapter 2nd (or 3rd...nth), that chapter has to wait until she *potentially* declines whichever house(s) she put before them.

if that's true (and im not sure if how i repeated it is correct), then AOII Angel is saying the double legacy put her legacy chapter first, declined the bid and went AOII, which would kinda be a slap in the face to the legacy chapter (and her relatives?)

or... you can just direct me to the "here's how legacies work in NPC" thread.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Let me try to summarize: The claim is that legacies must be on the first bidlist for all groups. AOII Angel is suggesting that that claim is false because of a situation for a legacy for another group listed her legacy chapter as number one and AOII as number two and received a bid to AOII.

This suggests that although legacies are somewhere on the bidlist, they may not necessarily be on the first bidlist for all NPC chapters.
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Exactly Drolefille. This member put XYZ first, but she was not on the top of XYZs bidlist despite being a double legacy. They filled their quota before coming to her name on their bidlist, thus she was given a bid to her number 2 group, AOII. She was devestated thinking she had let down her two sisters who had redecorated her room at home in XYZ colors, BTW. She ended up becoming a great AOII, and things worked out just fine.

As for tld's suggestion, if XYZ had given her a bid, she would not have been able to decline it and then accept a bid to AOII. That is against NPC rules.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Exactly Drolefille. This member put XYZ first, but she was not on the top of XYZs bidlist despite being a double legacy. They filled their quota before coming to her name on their bidlist, thus she was given a bid to her number 2 group, AOII. She was devestated thinking she had let down her two sisters who had redecorated her room at home in XYZ colors, BTW. She ended up becoming a great AOII, and things worked out just fine.

If she were an ASA legacy, this would not be an issue.

[carnation]

We've discussed it before but I think that there's at least 1 group, Tri Delt, who says on their website that coming to prefs does not guarantee a legacy a bid.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

If she were an ASA legacy, this would not be an issue.

Nope! Just switch the lady bugs for panda bears!!

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by carnation

We've discussed it before but I think that there's at least 1 group, Tri Delt, who says on their website that coming to prefs does not guarantee a legacy a bid.

I would think that for some chapters at some schools, they might potentially have so many legacies to choose from that they might be unable to put them all on their first bid list. At my school, I have heard stories from legacies to several groups who attended pref, ranked their legacy groups first, and did not end up in their legacy groups. Specifically, one of these stories involved a descendant of a founder who was a multiple legacy.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by dgdramadawg

I would think that for some chapters at some schools, they might potentially have so many legacies to choose from that they might be unable to put them all on their first bid list. At my school, I have heard stories from legacies to several groups who attended pref, ranked their legacy groups first, and did not end up in their legacy groups. Specifically, one of these stories involved a descendant of a founder who was a multiple legacy.

Yeah, this would not be the reason at my school. We had a good number of legacies every year, but not an overwhelming number.

[Low C Sharp]

Here's a hypothetical. Suppose that quota at SEC U is 75, and XYZ, an old, established group, has 80 legacy PNMs. Say that 10 of them genuinely don't meet the XYZ standard, and maybe 5, though qualified, can be expected to choose a different group at prefs. If XYZ keeps all the remaining legacies, that would be 65/75 in its pledge class. We often hear "We can't take them all" or "The whole class would be legacies!"

I don't have a dog in the race, I'm just curious: why not have a class of mostly legacies, if they are qualified? Is it a sense that this would impair the diversity of the class? Are chapters worried about being perceived as exclusive and unfair (would that really be a bad thing at SEC U?)?

Same question, part 2: what if XYZ is a low-to-middle group at SEC U? Then does it make sense to take a mostly-legacy class?

it's harder to get into Harvard than into Booboo State

LOL! Sorry, I just thought that was hilarious.
________

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Here's a hypothetical. Suppose that quota at SEC U is 75, and XYZ, an old, established group, has 80 legacy PNMs. Say that 10 of them genuinely don't meet the XYZ standard, and maybe 5, though qualified, can be expected to choose a different group at prefs. If XYZ keeps all the remaining legacies, that would be 65/75 in its pledge class. We often hear "We can't take them all" or "The whole class would be legacies!"

I don't have a dog in the race, I'm just curious: why not have a class of mostly legacies, if they are qualified? Is it a sense that this would impair the diversity of the class? Are chapters worried about being perceived as exclusive and unfair (would that really be a bad thing at SEC U?)?

Same question, part 2: what if XYZ is a low-to-middle group at SEC U? Then does it make sense to take a mostly-legacy class?



LOL! Sorry, I just thought that was hilarious.

It's not that it's bad to have a pledge class of legacies, it's just that having only legacies probably leaves the actives with little say about who's in their chapter. There could have been 20 other girls at SEC U who would have been 'better fits' for the chapter. And

Originally Posted by dgdramadawg

She ended up really happy in the house she ended up pledging, but her mom was LIVID, and when she talked to her house they said that the PNM must have "slipped through the cracks." How a descendant of a founder could slip through the cracks is beyond me. Rest assured the same did not happen to this girl's younger siblings, though!

Code for "stay out of our membership selection, non-active chapter member."

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Code for "stay out of our membership selection, non-active chapter member."

And yet, truthfully, at large recruitments, there are important PNMs who do slip through the cracks. Sometimes, the alums didn't do their homework and let the actives know that an important legacy is coming through. And, often, these young women just aren't that aware of who the "big" alums are for their group.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

And yet, truthfully, at large recruitments, there are important PNMs who do slip through the cracks. Sometimes, the alums didn't do their homework and let the actives know that an important legacy is coming through. And, often, these young women just aren't that aware of who the "big" alums are for their group.

Sure, that's true, too. But I really dislike alums calling and asking about/yelling about/whining about/complaining about their legacy's recruitment.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Sure, that's true, too. But I really dislike alums calling and asking about/yelling about/whining about/complaining about their legacy's recruitment.

I'm sorry, but I'm not a fan of this either.

I understand that said alumna feels hurt, but I've never seen this type of "why did my legacy get cut?" call go well.

Many times, the alumna unloads on whoever just happens to pick up the phone at the house.

Sometimes, it's just a random active who just happened to walk by the phone --and she gets a total earful from someone she has never met. lol.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm sorry, but I'm not a fan of this either.

I understand that said alumna feels hurt, but I've never seen this type of "why did my legacy get cut?" call go well.

Many times, the alumna unloads on whoever just happens to pick up the phone at the house.

Sometimes, it's just a random active who just happened to walk by the phone --and she gets a total earful from someone she has never met. lol.

And any alumnae member should be able to remember from membership selection sessions that the random member that picked up the phone may have had nothing to do with cutting her darling daughter, so yelling at the poor girl is not a sisterly thing to do.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm sorry, but I'm not a fan of this either.

I understand that said alumna feels hurt, but I've never seen this type of "why did my legacy get cut?" call go well.

Many times, the alumna unloads on whoever just happens to pick up the phone at the house.

Sometimes, it's just a random active who just happened to walk by the phone --and she gets a total earful from someone she has never met. lol.

So true! We tell(preach to) the girls they are not to engage an alum who calls but to take a number and have the recruitment advisor call her back.

As a recruitment advisor, part of my job was to field those calls and I can think of one instance where I did have to say, and truthfully, "She just slipped through the cracks." It was such a sad situation, and I had nothing I could say to the alum other than those words. She was very nice, just hurt and looking for answers (knowing I really couldn't divulge any real info). The pnm was from out of state and no one really knew her.

The pnm legacy went back through the next year after having made some inhouse friends (at several houses) and pledged our group. Happy Ending. I was so happy to have the chance to meet that mom on Bid Day and give her a hug!

[KSUViolet06]

Yeah. I had the opportunity to talk to some advisors from chapters who deal with this kind of thing all the time. They say you wouldn't believe some of the things that come from parents' mouths over the phone during recruitment when they are upset.

I get that there is hurt involved when your kid is cut, but it's important for alumnae to remember that the active (whom you just ripped a new one over the phone) is YOUR sister and she deserves to be spoken to like a human being.

And also, you might just want to continue involvement at some point.

It is really difficult to continue involvement after the entire chapter knows that you said "Well that's ok because this chapter has become nothing but a chapter full of skanks and I wouldn't want my Becky to be part of this chapter anyway!!!"

Embarrassing.

[BeeBee23]

I actually just read a TON of comments regarding this on the ADPi facebook page. Basically a bunch of moms are expressing their now "hate" for ADPi because their precious daughters were cut from the ADPi chapter during recruitment and no longer will support ADPi in any way and are demanding explanations. It's ridiculous! I think there is a huge generation gap going on and that mom's arent understanding (or remembering or refusing to remember) that membership selection cannot be told to them, and it's nothing against them or their daughter that they were cut.

Whoever runs the ADPi page politely responded with the "too many legacies to meet quota" only to be attacked by the moms saying it's a silly excuse.

I wish there was a way to help them understand about how the system works in today's times. ADPi has published articles regarding these issues, but moms seem to disregard it until their baby girl gets cut and then all hell breaks loose! It's just sad to see these grown women bashing their sorority and trying to encourage PNMs not to pledge ADPi because "legacies aren't treated fairly."