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Welcome to our newest member, znathanhulzeo24 |
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01-18-2018, 11:17 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2001
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Posts: 10,014
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Disgusting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation
I am horrified by her apparent belief that she could come to the South and say all that.
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As am I.
Social media wasn't a thing when I was in college. The Web was in its infancy. (Hell, I wrote my chapter's first website, which went online before IBM's first stab at a website went live.) But, even then, most people knew better than to say such disgusting things - and, for those who didn't know better, word got out.
These days, fuggedaboutit. If you post something disgusting online, odds are it will go viral and bite you in the ... buttockal region.
__________________
AEΦ ... Multa Corda, Una Causa ... Celebrating Over 100 Years of Sisterhood
Have no place I can be since I found Serenity, but you can't take the sky from me...
Only those who risk going too far, find out how far they can go.
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01-19-2018, 11:16 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 320
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Quote:
Oye. The Internet is forever.
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Yep and given the racist video and this latest video posted on Twitter (bragging about her favorite sexual activity for those who didn't see it) this girl has killed any career opportunities, at least for many, many years. Companies do a social media search on applicants all the time and even a lot of party pictures can harm one's chances.
When will these kids learn that social media is NOT their friend? I'm amazed at how many still post stuff (like pictures where they're clearly drunk) without any thought of the consequences. I get that they're college kids and at that age, you're not thinking logically sometimes, but still...
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01-19-2018, 01:03 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: N 37.811092 W -107.664643
Posts: 5,295
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I have given this a lot of thought since the story broke. I watched all the videos. I read the Fraternity Man's opinion.
Here's what it comes to for me:
1) there but for the grace of God go all of us. Alpha Phi was in the hot seat this week. I hold no ill will towards any organization for the actions of a single member.
2) Agree with Kevin re: bystander behavior. Have witnessed it in the chapter I advised. It's quite a culture, actually. There are people who do presentations on this topic. Not sure of the efficacy of talking to anyone. To me, it's innate: I speak up when I see wrongdoing. Consequences be damned. However, the majority of people don't have my "alpha" personality. I don't need nor seek approval from outside. And I've watched the viciousness with which people can turn on someone who does "speak up" or is a "whistleblower" even when the concerns are valid. Yes I have a few personal examples, and I weathered the storm (because as I already wrote, IDGAF what other people think or say!). I love the Lincoln quote which starts "I do the very best I know how". Google it. It's a great quote.
3) Good people don't stay silent when faced with evil.
4) All I can do is focus on where I can make a difference. That young woman is going to suffer mightily throughout the decades for her behavior (which, based on the videos I watched, isn't a random one-time occurrence, but, rather, reflects her fundamental moral code and beliefs). I'm really not sure how she will ever make this right with anyone. It's not up to me to say. My heart hurts for the pain her words caused to countless people. I will do my best to make a difference today when the opportunity arises. That's all I can do.
5) I am grateful every day for the support we offer one another. It is best to hold hands when we are in scary places. And in not so scary places either.
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01-19-2018, 03:41 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Bryan, TX
Posts: 1,034
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCMS
Yep and given the racist video and this latest video posted on Twitter (bragging about her favorite sexual activity for those who didn't see it) this girl has killed any career opportunities, at least for many, many years. Companies do a social media search on applicants all the time and even a lot of party pictures can harm one's chances.
When will these kids learn that social media is NOT their friend? I'm amazed at how many still post stuff (like pictures where they're clearly drunk) without any thought of the consequences. I get that they're college kids and at that age, you're not thinking logically sometimes, but still...
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You hit on one of the biggies.
When will we quit thinking of them as "kids" and EXPECT them to act as young adults. Childhood now apparently doesn't end until somewhere around 25.
I've been preaching 'til I'm blue in the face that I don't want my organization's collegians thought of as "girls" but as "women".
__________________
When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.-Einstein
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01-19-2018, 04:22 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
Posts: 13,535
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCMS
Yep and given the racist video and this latest video posted on Twitter ( bragging about her favorite sexual activity for those who didn't see it) this girl has killed any career opportunities, at least for many, many years. Companies do a social media search on applicants all the time and even a lot of party pictures can harm one's chances.
When will these kids learn that social media is NOT their friend? I'm amazed at how many still post stuff (like pictures where they're clearly drunk) without any thought of the consequences. I get that they're college kids and at that age, you're not thinking logically sometimes, but still...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTheta
I have given this a lot of thought since the story broke. I watched all the videos. I read the Fraternity Man's opinion.
Here's what it comes to for me:
1) there but for the grace of God go all of us. Alpha Phi was in the hot seat this week. I hold no ill will towards any organization for the actions of a single member.
2) Agree with Kevin re: bystander behavior. Have witnessed it in the chapter I advised. It's quite a culture, actually. There are people who do presentations on this topic. Not sure of the efficacy of talking to anyone. To me, it's innate: I speak up when I see wrongdoing. Consequences be damned. However, the majority of people don't have my "alpha" personality. I don't need nor seek approval from outside. And I've watched the viciousness with which people can turn on someone who does "speak up" or is a "whistleblower" even when the concerns are valid. Yes I have a few personal examples, and I weathered the storm (because as I already wrote, IDGAF what other people think or say!). I love the Lincoln quote which starts "I do the very best I know how". Google it. It's a great quote.
3) Good people don't stay silent when faced with evil.
4) All I can do is focus on where I can make a difference. That young woman is going to suffer mightily throughout the decades for her behavior (which, based on the videos I watched, isn't a random one-time occurrence, but, rather, reflects her fundamental moral code and beliefs). I'm really not sure how she will ever make this right with anyone. It's not up to me to say. My heart hurts for the pain her words caused to countless people. I will do my best to make a difference today when the opportunity arises. That's all I can do.
5) I am grateful every day for the support we offer one another. It is best to hold hands when we are in scary places. And in not so scary places either.
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All of this.
__________________
Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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01-19-2018, 04:24 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sweet Home Indiana
Posts: 2,082
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clemsongirl
Finstas are such a dumb concept anyways-when your friends all like your videos, Instagram can figure out who you are pretty quickly. Nothing you post on the internet is anonymous, no matter what you think.
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If you have to have a finsta to post something, it's obvious you don't want people to know about therefore you know something is wrong with your post. Then don't post it. What a concept.
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Sigma Kappa
One Heart One Way since 1874
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01-19-2018, 05:06 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,290
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTheta
2) Agree with Kevin re: bystander behavior. Have witnessed it in the chapter I advised. It's quite a culture, actually. There are people who do presentations on this topic. Not sure of the efficacy of talking to anyone. To me, it's innate: I speak up when I see wrongdoing. Consequences be damned. However, the majority of people don't have my "alpha" personality. I don't need nor seek approval from outside. And I've watched the viciousness with which people can turn on someone who does "speak up" or is a "whistleblower" even when the concerns are valid. Yes I have a few personal examples, and I weathered the storm (because as I already wrote, IDGAF what other people think or say!). I love the Lincoln quote which starts "I do the very best I know how". Google it. It's a great quote.
3) Good people don't stay silent when faced with evil.
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I agree with both you and Kevin and believe that bystander intervention is a major issue.
However, I think it can be especially challenging in this day and age to speak up. It's difficult enough potentially becoming the outcast (or worse) within your organization, but imagine the pressure when you could potentially bring down the entire Greek system at your school and ruin your org's reputation on a national level. I think that social media has a huge effect on this; it drags out the issue beyond a short newspaper article, and students don't want to be on the receiving end of threats. I know of a sorority woman who reported that she was sexually assaulted by a member of a fraternity, and she was bullied mercilessly online by her sisters, brothers of the fraternity, and others for months on end.
Nowadays, these things can get so out of hand that a simple brushing off of one's shoulders isn't enough.
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I believe in the values of friendship and fidelity to purpose
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Last edited by ASTalumna06; 01-19-2018 at 11:06 PM.
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01-19-2018, 10:56 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASTalumna06
I agree with both you and Kevin and believe that bystander intervention is a major issue.
However, I think it can be especially challenging in this day and age to speak up. It's difficult enough potentially becoming the outcast (or worse) within your organization, but imagine the pressure when you could potentially bring down the entire Greek system at your school and ruin your org's reputation on a national level. I think that social media has a huge effect on this; it drags out the issue beyond a short newspaper article, and students don't want to be on the receiving end of threats. I know of a sorority woman who reported that she was sexually assaulted by a member of a fraternity, and she was bullied mercilessly online by her sisters, brothers of the fraternity, and others for months on end.
Nowadays, these things can get so out of hand that a simple brushing off of one's shoulders simply isn't enough.
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Social media exacerbates all of this. Education and training has to start before they even arrive at college. My sister and I are constantly pounding it into my niece and nephew's heads that what they post can and will come back to haunt them. They both have hopes of eventually being D1 athletes, so it's especially important for them to be aware. I teach middle schoolers. Every day, I'm appalled by the taunting, bullying and flat-out inappropriate stuff they'll post to each other with no parental intervention. We have a large population of parents who think they have no right to monitor what their 14 year olds are posting online - kids whose frontal lobes aren't close to being developed and need guidance about how to do the right thing. I have parents tell me they "just can't" take their kids' phones out of their bedrooms at night. I always reply, "Well, that's the biggest time they're posting all this crap - late at night when you're not paying attention." I've had parents just look at me, helpless. I want to yell, "You pay for that phone. You own it; not your child. Be an adult."
Training and education should be a continuous part of every GLO's programming. Additionally, as others have mentioned, too many chapters have a culture of seeing how many members they can gain with thousands of Instagram followers instead of recruiting for quality. It should be more important to be a good person who genuinely respects all cultures, ethnicities and sexual orientations rather than someone who can be the chapter's controversial celebrity. I honestly can't even imagine what gets said sometimes in a culture like Alabama's. While the university has been recently committed to improving racial relations on campus and recognizes it has far to go, the historic culture combined with being in the deep South can often cause the worst of the worse to rise to the top. My brother in law coaches high school girls in elite club soccer and sends all of them on to play college soccer. He had a player a few years ago who went to Alabama but elected to transfer to another school and soccer program after a year because she told him she simply couldn't handle the racial slurs she heard on a daily basis anymore. (Not slurs directed toward her but simply language that was part of so many students' everyday conversation.) Having grown up in the West in a very diverse population in her school, community and teammates, she experienced culture shock, and she decided it hurt her humanity too much to be immersed in it. Before anyone from Alabama flames me, I know not everyone is like that, and as I said, the university is trying to change. But incidents that go viral nationally like Ms. Barber's video don't do much to change the perception of both the university and the GLOs there. It's sad because I personally know young women who are in chapters at Alabama and doing wonderful things for their philanthropies and their communities.
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01-20-2018, 04:56 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Rockville,MD,USA
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On another board that I was on, they expressed surprise/admiration that the Alpha Phi national board was able to complete revoke Ms. Barber's membership in only 48 hours. Note this is *not* something that my Fraternity (Alpha Phi Omega) can do. The board can vote to suspend a brother's membership, but only the convention (every two years) may fully revoke it.
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Because "undergrads, please abandon your national policies and make something up" will end well --KnightShadow
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01-20-2018, 07:26 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naraht
On another board that I was on, they expressed surprise/admiration that the Alpha Phi national board was able to complete revoke Ms. Barber's membership in only 48 hours. Note this is *not* something that my Fraternity (Alpha Phi Omega) can do. The board can vote to suspend a brother's membership, but only the convention (every two years) may fully revoke it.
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It's actually not unique to Alpha Phi.
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"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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01-20-2018, 07:28 AM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Posts: 18,654
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Also, a phone call from the home office to the chapter to inform them to expel a certain member "or else" usually has the intended effect.
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SN -SINCE 1869-
"EXCELLING WITH HONOR"
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Mu Tau 5, Central Oklahoma
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01-20-2018, 07:28 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin
It starts and ends with bystander intervention. Members have to feel empowered to say something when they see something wrong. Greek organizations are some of the worst when it comes to bystander intervention because we are as a rule so prone to groupthink type behaviors where no one will speak up because they are afraid to be found to be less a part of the group. One can only imagine how that dynamic is magnified in a place like Alabama where I'm sure new members who are lucky enough to find a home (and most of them know how lucky they are) are probably pretty determined to keep their heads down and not rock the boat until initiation.
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This part.
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"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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01-20-2018, 11:53 AM
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I'm familiar with the town Ms Barber is from and although above the Mason-Dixon it may be, it most certainly is not a hub of diversity. So I don't think you can blame this on Alabama or its culture. She was a racist before she got there.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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01-20-2018, 04:27 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 320
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
I'm familiar with the town Ms Barber is from and although above the Mason-Dixon it may be, it most certainly is not a hub of diversity. So I don't think you can blame this on Alabama or its culture. She was a racist before she got there.
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Bingo. She was a freshman - one whole semester in the Deep South.
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01-22-2018, 08:28 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle
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I.CANNOT.EVEN. That twitter video... what a gem she is!
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