GreekChat.com Forums  

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > Greek Life

Greek Life This forum is for various discussion topics regarding greek life. If you are posting a non-greek related message, please do so in one of the General Chat Topic forums.


Register Now for FREE!
Join GreekChat.com, The Fraternity & Sorority Greek Chat Network. To sign up for your FREE account INSTANTLY fill out the form below!

Username: Password: Confirm Password: E-Mail: Confirm E-Mail:
 
Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.

  I agree to forum rules 

» GC Stats
Members: 325,137
Threads: 115,503
Posts: 2,196,073
Welcome to our newest member, asydneytianov33
» Online Users: 970
2 members and 968 guests
asydneytianov33, Mooch279
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-01-2012, 03:50 AM
SECglitter SECglitter is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 14
Released: Surviving as a GDI at UGA

So you may have seen my thread about being released from UGA's FR, and obviously greek life is huge on this campus. It's not even that the whole campus is greek; the whole culture is just different (for the most part) for non-greeks. As a freshman on this campus I have definitely struggled with with feeling left out as I watch all my hallmates dressing up and flocking to their socials, new member meetings, pledge retreats, meeting up with boys at the fraternity houses, etc. I've gotten to some meetings for UGA's philanthropies like some people suggested in my previous thread (closed atm) but I still don't have much of a social life. I guess I just kind of wanted to vent on how hard is it not having the automatic group of friends and events to fill up your schedule that come with sorority membership.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-01-2012, 06:20 AM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: N 37.811092 W -107.664643
Posts: 5,295
(((hugs))) to you. It will get better; give time time. Don't wallow in it! One thing that works for me is to set a timer and say "I'm going to feel bad for X# of minutes". Seriously, it works, because I usually can't wallow for that long. What it also does is keep your mind from returning over and over to the hurt place (kind of like when your tongue keeps finding the tooth in your mouth that hurts). If I find my mind going to the hurt place, I say to myself "it's not time to think about that" and let go of the thought. It really works, it just takes practice.

And (before your other thread went off the rails), there was some good advice in there regarding what to do/how to get involved during your freshman year. You've got a lot of class and you are very brave. Please don't overanalyze "what went wrong" or pick yourself to pieces! That is not helpful right now. You need some time to heal.

Another suggestion is to keep busy with a schedule so there isn't much down time; and in that schedule make yourself scarce when the opportunity for hurt is most apparent. For example, when your hallmates are getting ready to go out to sorority-related events, be somewhere else for the time being. You don't need to expose yourself to that right now; and eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later) it won't bother or hurt so much.

In a few months, this will look completely different. Promise.
__________________
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-01-2012, 08:54 AM
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Santa Monica/Beverly Hills
Posts: 8,636
It really is fresh right now. Don't expect it not to still hurt. Grief has stages, and making friends will speed that process up. Get out of your dorm and make an effort to do things on campus. There really are non- Greeks and non-Greek activities all around you if you don't focus on what you don't have. I know it's hard, but you're going to make yourself miserable and ruin what is arguably some of the most fun times in your life if you don't snap yourself out of your funk and enjoy college. Start with people in your classes and dorm. Ask someone to lunch. Go to a meeting of a campus group. Look at the message boards on campus. The opportunities are there. This will also improve your experience, your resume...and you may even like it. Last, try to laugh. It is a natural stress reliever and heals. BTW, UGA is an awesome university. You'll find your place.
__________________

AOII

One Motto, One Badge, One Bond and Singleness of Heart!




Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-01-2012, 09:21 AM
amIblue? amIblue? is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Shackled to my desk
Posts: 2,937
It will get better. Keep a smile on your face and be as friendly to everyone as possible. There is so much to do at UGA.
__________________
Actually, amIblue? is a troublemaker. Go pick on her. --AZTheta
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-01-2012, 10:06 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,290
I would definitely suggest taking the advice you've already been given - get out of your dorm! Or at least out of the room. Most of the friends I met before I joined a sorority I had started talking to all because I went to the lobby of my dorm to study, rather than staying in my room. You'd be surprised the places you can meet people and start a conversation.

And while at first I would suggest trying to "avoid" all that has to do with sororities, eventually, after it doesn't hurt so much, you might try being around the sisters more. While they're running around your hall trying to get ready for a social, walk by, smile, say hi, even try to maybe start a conversation by saying something like, "wow, you girls must have a big event tonight," or whatever. Don't be the creepy girl who seems to be stalking them, but keep it light. Just by being friendly and nice, they may keep you in mind the next time recruitment rolls around again (should you choose to re-rush).

And getting involved in other groups and events on campus will also allow you to meet sorority women. If a good portion of the campus is Greek, a good number of the sisters will be in other clubs and organizations.

Get out there and have fun!
__________________
I believe in the values of friendship and fidelity to purpose

@~/~~~~
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-01-2012, 11:00 AM
SECglitter SECglitter is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 14
Thanks everyone, I do plan to rush again so hopefully I will be able to come onto greek chat sometime and be able to say that I am actually Greek! LOL
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-01-2012, 01:50 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
It will get better.

My assumption is that right now, you live in a dorm that = mostly freshmen who went through recruitment. It seems like "everyone is Greek" and "there's nothing to do on campus if you're not" because your whole floor is Greek and that's all you see/hear people talking about.

As you move into a different dorm with more mixed company next year, it won't seem that way.

Also, I know that every school tends to have some sort of large "student org fair" in the first weeks of school. Go to that and see what clubs/orgs you may be interested in that pertain to your major, faith, or something like that. I'm Greek, but I have tons of close friends now that I happened to meet in other clubs outside of my sorority almost 8 years ago.

Another thing: Sometimes you need to just LOG OFF GREEKCHAT. It really doesn't help to be lurking around here looking at rush threads with happy endings. So if you start to feel really hurt, take a step back and come back some other time. We won't be offended.
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi

Lakers Nation.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-01-2012, 02:40 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,490
Quote:
Originally Posted by SECglitter View Post
I guess I just kind of wanted to vent on how hard is it not having the automatic group of friends and events to fill up your schedule that come with sorority membership.
Look at that bolded word.

There is NO SUCH THING as "automatic friends." These girls have an automatic new social circle, maybe, but automatic friends? No way. Lasting riendships take time, whether they are in your dorm, your sorority, your athletic team, your camp, whatever.

If you've come from a fairly active HS social life (especially if you never really had to try that hard to have it) I know this is really really really hard to take, but being in the place of those HS women who DIDN'T have an active social life will do you nothing but good in the long run. You have a fresh slate. You have to work. Nothing will be handed to you.

In the meantime, get out of your dorm, get involved in activities, and, oh yeah, concentrate on your classes.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-01-2012, 04:41 PM
SLAM<3 Always SLAM<3 Always is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 46
Been there, done that.

I've been in your shoes before. It's not a pleasant feeling. What helped me was actually making a list of goals of things I wanted to achieve in college and how I was going to achieve them. One by one over the past 4 years I've completed each of them. For example, one of my goals were to study abroad. I knew if I wanted to study abroad I had to take several language classes and plan accordingly for my degree. Another goal was to work for a Fortune 500 company during one of my internships. I knew I had to have certain qualifications to even apply, so I did everything I could to make myself standout as a fabulous candidate and I've stayed with the company long after my internship ended. By doing this, I 1-made a ton of friends and 2- realized that it's not the letters that matter. It's the growing process that occurs and makes Greek Life so amazing.

The other thing (and this might be specific to my campus) was the fact I went to the Greek Life Office asking about the possibility of expansion on our campus in the time I was going to be at school. It wasn't a "I want to throw a hizzy fit about getting another chapter" type meeting. I did my research on how many girls were cut, totals, quotas, numbers of girls rushing over the past x number of years and explained it would be logical for another organization to colonize. Thankfully they were already considering this and the general campus just didn't know yet since they were expecting it to be another 2 years before it opened for expansion. If you ask them the possibility, you might be able to see if there is another opportunity down the road you can try. If they say no, then you still have your goals set out. If they say yes, it's worth a shot.
__________________
"I knew I wanted Sigma
When I saw the bond so strong
I am now a Sister of Sigma
I will be my whole life long"
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-01-2012, 05:53 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,490
Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAM<3 Always View Post
The other thing (and this might be specific to my campus) was the fact I went to the Greek Life Office asking about the possibility of expansion on our campus in the time I was going to be at school.
I'm pretty sure that was specific to your school. At a school like the OP's, land and housing costs millions of dollars and it is a major responsibility for any NPC group to undertake - one that usually does not happen without the request of the university. If an interest group contained Bill Gates' daughter who said Daddy will pay for it all, maybe then, but it is far more complicated than colonization was at your school.

Your enthusiasm is wonderful, but this really isn't an option for the OP.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 09-01-2012, 06:49 PM
Xidelt Xidelt is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,977
UGa has so many wonderful options for involvement! Go to the activities fair on Wednesday to see which orgs appeal to you. When the Greeks on your floor get ready for an event, reach out to other non-Greeks on your floor to initiate your own social events: a movie at the Tate center, Dawgs After Dark, work out at Ramsey, team sports events, etc.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What Not to Say to a Released PNM carnation Recruitment 132 08-22-2022 05:40 PM
I Might Be Released Soon sherryanne Sorority Recruitment 15 09-01-2009 09:56 PM
Surviving on Unemployment Insurance preciousjeni Careers & Employment 18 05-31-2009 08:33 PM
Surviving Nugent on VH1 kddani Entertainment 2 05-03-2004 11:36 AM
Surviving Nugent vanda Entertainment 0 10-10-2003 06:11 PM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:34 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.