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  #8926  
Old 03-09-2013, 12:53 AM
AlwaysSAI AlwaysSAI is offline
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Mr. KDR has not called me yet today. So, technically, since it's 1am he didn't call me at all today.

I wonder what he's doing. Probably working on his presentation for next week.
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  #8927  
Old 03-09-2013, 06:11 AM
Phrozen Sands Phrozen Sands is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizeree I2K View Post
Sorry about your break up, but I feel you on what you're going through, meeting up with females who aren't who they say they are, as far as looks go. When my account was active, and I was still kickin it with random females, some would lie about what they looked like. They would post pictures from way back when, and then when we would agree to meet up, they would be big as hell. That used to get me upset because I had to sit through an entire date with a female who was fat as hell. I don't know why females lie like that. I usually can tell if she's big as hell because her face will be wide, but when they post an old picture when they were thin and looked good as hell, you automatically think she's going to look like that on the date.
I'm always leery when I see a face shot only.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Munchkin03 View Post
What made you realize that dating is based on social class? I would say that people stay within their social class even more than they stay within their race or religion.
I think it seems that way with women but not necessarily with men. Women seem to want men who are either on the same or higher financial level that they are on, if they are women with professional careers making money. With men, it could be a woman working an entry level job at McDonalds making pennies. But, if she's really attractive, and has her head on straight, a guy will still show interest, even if he is on a higher professional/financial level. I don't think we look at the whole social class thing like women do.

The problem with this is, as men, we're generally going to find the same women physically attractive. So, we'll go after the same women, but those women can pretty much have their pick, and because of that, they will choose the men who are professionals making decent money. The men who aren't on a high status level like that (financially) are left with the women that nobody wants, and that leaves the women I mentioned above. They are either unattractive, or if they are attractive, they're messed up in the head. That's what it seems like to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasViolet View Post
Are you trying to meet people other places besides just PoF? Maybe there are tons of people that found the perfect person for them on that website, but I've just never heard any good stories.

What do you mean by dating is based on social class?
I've tried Christian Mingle, and E-Harmony as well.

What I mean by social class, I'm talking about people having the same or similar economic/financial or educational status.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek View Post
What is it that you're looking for in a mate? I mean, do you think that what you might want is realistic?
That's a good question. I would like to think my expectations are realistic. I never really made a list out. I have in my mind what I want, but what I want, they're all taken. It kind of goes back to what I said before about it all being based on social class.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy View Post
Put it this way, if I told you she was a 36-24-36, I would be speaking of her forearm, neck, and thigh.
Lol
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  #8928  
Old 03-09-2013, 02:34 PM
StealthMode StealthMode is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands View Post
What I mean by social class, I'm talking about people having the same or similar economic/financial or educational status.
I will say it's typical for women to look at a man's financial status. There are lots of reasons for this but generally, she tends to be evaluating a man's ability to provide for a family when she is choosing a mate. Even if a man is thinking that far ahead about the person he's dating--and a lot of them aren't depending on their age--he will usually have the luxury of not needing to think about that.

From what you describe, it sounds like you're not "your type's type." What I mean is, it's more than just the women you're dating not meeting your expectations--it also sounds like you may also not meet the expectations of the women you would like to date. If you know the women who you find attractive and "together" (however you define that) tend to go for men who are of a certain status, look a certain way, live a certain lifestyle, etc. then do you fit those qualities? Could you? If you can't or aren't willing to then you might need to adjust your expectations to someone who is a better match. You deserve someone who will appreciate what you have to offer.

Also...I completely admit I don't know what kind of women you've run into but just because a woman is "bigger than you're normally attracted to" doesn't mean she's "unattractive." And a woman who is unattractive to you and single is not necessarily a "woman nobody wants." You used these phrases synonymously which may be part of the problem if they are an indication of what your expectations are like. I don't know how you define "messed up in the head" or "unattractive." But it may be a good idea to really write out what qualities you're looking for AND why they are important to you. It might be a great opportunity to learn more about yourself and maybe shed some light why you and that special someone keep missing each other.
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Last edited by StealthMode; 03-09-2013 at 02:38 PM.
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  #8929  
Old 03-09-2013, 05:34 PM
XAntoftheSkyX XAntoftheSkyX is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy View Post
Put it this way, if I told you she was a 36-24-36, I would be speaking of her forearm, neck, and thigh.
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  #8930  
Old 03-10-2013, 03:04 AM
PrettyBoy PrettyBoy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands View Post
I think it seems that way with women but not necessarily with men. Women seem to want men who are either on the same or higher financial level that they are on, if they are women with professional careers making money. With men, it could be a woman working an entry level job at McDonalds making pennies. But, if she's really attractive, and has her head on straight, a guy will still show interest, even if he is on a higher professional/financial level.
I can't blame you for wanting a companion you're going to be physically attracted to, but you made it seem as though women don't go after "looks" like men do. Initially, your appearance is just as important to a woman as her appearance is to you. After that, it is what you say and do that bears more weight.

You bring up finances which is cool, because they are important. But IMO, I think most women are attracted to men who have a sense of self and direction in their lives. When a man is unstable (not saying that you are) or unsettled concerning his career or what he wants to do with his life, it makes a woman nervous to some degree. If she's nervous, she cannot relax and entrust her heart to his hands. She's generally going to look to a man for stability, not necessarily having a ton of money, because many women are making more money than men are. So, be careful placing too much emphasis on money, although it is important.

Money/finances/career is a factor for some women, but what is also important to most women is his ability to commit to her. Men who are inconsistent cause her to question his intentions toward her. I think a lot of women are generally going to be at their best in relationships when she feels secure that her man's desire for her cannot be broken. She wants, above all, to be able to depend on him for the steady, willing supply of his very best -his sincere and demonstrated devotion and commitment to her. She wants to feel secure and safe.

You also mentioned that you want a decent woman, but both men and women say the same thing. They want a partner who is "about something". Yet, most people who say this are not really doing anything significant themselves. They're not willing to get the training and experience, be mentored, or work hard enough with their gifts and talents, so they settle for mediocre jobs that do not express who they really are. The key is being what you want to attract, man. A man who does not have his act together (not saying you), he will never be comfortable with a woman who does. He would only resent her accomplishments and feel belittled by them. Even if it doesn't matter to her, he would still imagine that it does. So in a sense, I understand why a woman would not be interested in a man who is not on her level financially, spiritually, and mentally, or who has no clue where he wants his life to go.

Good luck, I hope you meet that special someone who will make you happy and vice versa.
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Romans 1:16

Last edited by PrettyBoy; 03-10-2013 at 03:33 AM.
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  #8931  
Old 03-10-2013, 05:40 PM
cheerfulgreek cheerfulgreek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands View Post
That's a good question. I would like to think my expectations are realistic. I never really made a list out. I have in my mind what I want, but what I want, they're all taken. It kind of goes back to what I said before about it all being based on social class.
I just asked that question to see what your response was going to be, and based on your reply, it doesn't seem like you have given it much thought to even know what it is you want in a mate. Based on your posts, the only thoughts you are focused on are the outer trappings. That's your first mistake. There is nothing wrong with pursuing someone you are physically attracted to, but after you have become excited about the cover, read the contents.

You also need to understand that just like anything else, where you are right now is based on what season you are in and the choices you have made. Many people, both women and men have the order backwards --finding a mate first, making a life second. Most singles spend a lot of their time bemoaning the fact that they are single and fail to be productive. You can either pin your hopes on the way you would like things to be, or you can work with what is in front of you. Start making your life purposeful while you are alone by applying yourself to all you can do as a single man. Singleness is a gift, so now should be a time when you should be enjoying your freedom. You will never have more financial freedom or more time than right now, so take advantage of it, and start building a productive life by having activities already in place.

I can't speak for all women, but a man who is strong spiritually, sure of his purpose, and actively working toward the fulfillment of his destiny is the sexiest man on Earth, and is such a major turn on, to me. And I think this applies to many women.

And be careful not to miss the simplicity in the truth that we attract what we are or what we think we deserve. Since you have had a string of problem dates, you might want to check to see what you are portraying.
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Last edited by cheerfulgreek; 03-10-2013 at 05:47 PM.
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  #8932  
Old 03-10-2013, 05:46 PM
cheerfulgreek cheerfulgreek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy View Post
I can't blame you for wanting a companion you're going to be physically attracted to, but you made it seem as though women don't go after "looks" like men do. Initially, your appearance is just as important to a woman as her appearance is to you. After that, it is what you say and do that bears more weight.

I think most women are attracted to men who have a sense of self and direction in their lives.
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Let’s be respectful of our differences and work to save our freedoms and the planet we inhabit. It’s ALL we’ve got, folks! ~ PGD-GRAD
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  #8933  
Old 03-11-2013, 01:45 PM
Mizeree I2K Mizeree I2K is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy View Post
Put it this way, if I told you she was a 36-24-36, I would be speaking of her forearm, neck, and thigh.
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #8934  
Old 03-12-2013, 07:21 PM
Phrozen Sands Phrozen Sands is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthMode View Post
I will say it's typical for women to look at a man's financial status. There are lots of reasons for this but generally, she tends to be evaluating a man's ability to provide for a family when she is choosing a mate. Even if a man is thinking that far ahead about the person he's dating--and a lot of them aren't depending on their age--he will usually have the luxury of not needing to think about that.

From what you describe, it sounds like you're not "your type's type." What I mean is, it's more than just the women you're dating not meeting your expectations--it also sounds like you may also not meet the expectations of the women you would like to date. If you know the women who you find attractive and "together" (however you define that) tend to go for men who are of a certain status, look a certain way, live a certain lifestyle, etc. then do you fit those qualities? Could you? If you can't or aren't willing to then you might need to adjust your expectations to someone who is a better match. You deserve someone who will appreciate what you have to offer.

Also...I completely admit I don't know what kind of women you've run into but just because a woman is "bigger than you're normally attracted to" doesn't mean she's "unattractive." And a woman who is unattractive to you and single is not necessarily a "woman nobody wants." You used these phrases synonymously which may be part of the problem if they are an indication of what your expectations are like. I don't know how you define "messed up in the head" or "unattractive." But it may be a good idea to really write out what qualities you're looking for AND why they are important to you. It might be a great opportunity to learn more about yourself and maybe shed some light why you and that special someone keep missing each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy View Post
I can't blame you for wanting a companion you're going to be physically attracted to, but you made it seem as though women don't go after "looks" like men do. Initially, your appearance is just as important to a woman as her appearance is to you. After that, it is what you say and do that bears more weight.

You bring up finances which is cool, because they are important. But IMO, I think most women are attracted to men who have a sense of self and direction in their lives. When a man is unstable (not saying that you are) or unsettled concerning his career or what he wants to do with his life, it makes a woman nervous to some degree. If she's nervous, she cannot relax and entrust her heart to his hands. She's generally going to look to a man for stability, not necessarily having a ton of money, because many women are making more money than men are. So, be careful placing too much emphasis on money, although it is important.

Money/finances/career is a factor for some women, but what is also important to most women is his ability to commit to her. Men who are inconsistent cause her to question his intentions toward her. I think a lot of women are generally going to be at their best in relationships when she feels secure that her man's desire for her cannot be broken. She wants, above all, to be able to depend on him for the steady, willing supply of his very best -his sincere and demonstrated devotion and commitment to her. She wants to feel secure and safe.

You also mentioned that you want a decent woman, but both men and women say the same thing. They want a partner who is "about something". Yet, most people who say this are not really doing anything significant themselves. They're not willing to get the training and experience, be mentored, or work hard enough with their gifts and talents, so they settle for mediocre jobs that do not express who they really are. The key is being what you want to attract, man. A man who does not have his act together (not saying you), he will never be comfortable with a woman who does. He would only resent her accomplishments and feel belittled by them. Even if it doesn't matter to her, he would still imagine that it does. So in a sense, I understand why a woman would not be interested in a man who is not on her level financially, spiritually, and mentally, or who has no clue where he wants his life to go.

Good luck, I hope you meet that special someone who will make you happy and vice versa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek View Post
I just asked that question to see what your response was going to be, and based on your reply, it doesn't seem like you have given it much thought to even know what it is you want in a mate. Based on your posts, the only thoughts you are focused on are the outer trappings. That's your first mistake. There is nothing wrong with pursuing someone you are physically attracted to, but after you have become excited about the cover, read the contents.

You also need to understand that just like anything else, where you are right now is based on what season you are in and the choices you have made. Many people, both women and men have the order backwards --finding a mate first, making a life second. Most singles spend a lot of their time bemoaning the fact that they are single and fail to be productive. You can either pin your hopes on the way you would like things to be, or you can work with what is in front of you. Start making your life purposeful while you are alone by applying yourself to all you can do as a single man. Singleness is a gift, so now should be a time when you should be enjoying your freedom. You will never have more financial freedom or more time than right now, so take advantage of it, and start building a productive life by having activities already in place.

I can't speak for all women, but a man who is strong spiritually, sure of his purpose, and actively working toward the fulfillment of his destiny is the sexiest man on Earth, and is such a major turn on, to me. And I think this applies to many women.

And be careful not to miss the simplicity in the truth that we attract what we are or what we think we deserve. Since you have had a string of problem dates, you might want to check to see what you are portraying.
This is good advice, and good info to have. I agreed to meet up with someone I met from PoF this weekend for dinner. I'll keep this in mind.

Thanks.
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  #8935  
Old 03-12-2013, 08:43 PM
cheerfulgreek cheerfulgreek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands View Post
This is good advice, and good info to have. I agreed to meet up with someone I met from PoF this weekend for dinner. I'll keep this in mind.

Thanks.
Don't forget to post and tell us about the date.

I'm so nosey...
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Let’s be respectful of our differences and work to save our freedoms and the planet we inhabit. It’s ALL we’ve got, folks! ~ PGD-GRAD

Last edited by cheerfulgreek; 03-12-2013 at 08:45 PM.
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  #8936  
Old 03-13-2013, 11:14 AM
Mizeree I2K Mizeree I2K is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands View Post
This is good advice, and good info to have. I agreed to meet up with someone I met from PoF this weekend for dinner. I'll keep this in mind.

Thanks.
Question: We've had some discussions on here about sex. Let's say you met a female who was cool as hell, looked good to you, and was pretty much what you've been looking for in a relationship. The only thing was she said she wasn't trying to give it up to you -- she didn't believe in premarital sex. Knowing this, would you still continue to kick it with her, or would you dip?
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  #8937  
Old 03-13-2013, 02:47 PM
Phrozen Sands Phrozen Sands is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizeree I2K View Post
Question: We've had some discussions on here about sex. Let's say you met a female who was cool as hell, looked good to you, and was pretty much what you've been looking for in a relationship. The only thing was she said she wasn't trying to give it up to you -- she didn't believe in premarital sex. Knowing this, would you still continue to kick it with her, or would you dip?
I'm sure that discussion would have come up early in the dating process if she's one who feels that strongly about the subject. Knowing that, I think it would be fair to say that we wouldn't be compatible with each other. No hurt feelings because these kinds of discussions generally come up before a relationship even begins, based on my experience.
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  #8938  
Old 03-13-2013, 10:23 PM
PrettyBoy PrettyBoy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands View Post
Knowing that, I think it would be fair to say that we wouldn't be compatible with each other.
LOL if someone would have asked me the same question let's say like, 6 years ago or more, my reply would have been the same or similar to yours. Be careful when you say that. Just because she doesn't believe in premarital sex, and you do, doesn't necessarily mean the two of you wouldn't be "compatible".

Don't pass up a good thing when you see it, because you'll find upon meeting (and getting to know) the right woman that your entire mindset on a lot of things (including sex) will change. I've learned that some of the best gifts come in the most interesting packages.
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Last edited by PrettyBoy; 03-13-2013 at 10:27 PM.
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  #8939  
Old 03-13-2013, 10:34 PM
Munchkin03 Munchkin03 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizeree I2K View Post
Question: We've had some discussions on here about sex. Let's say you met a female who was cool as hell, looked good to you, and was pretty much what you've been looking for in a relationship. The only thing was she said she wasn't trying to give it up to you -- she didn't believe in premarital sex. Knowing this, would you still continue to kick it with her, or would you dip?
I'm not sure if you directed this specifically to Phrozen Sands, but I'll answer from my perspective. The only people I've ever come across who are saving themselves for marriage are extremely devout Christians. I am not Christian. Therefore, they'd probably be incompatible with me for that reason alone. If, for some statistically unlikely reason, I meet a non-Christian who is saving himself (because, lets face it, it's almost always women who make these public announcements as adults), he'd probably be incompatible with me for reasons beyond that (i.e., sex is very important to me and its part of chemistry).

So, Munchkin would dip. But, again, it's unlikely that such a man would even be compatible with me once we got past niceties.
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  #8940  
Old 03-14-2013, 03:37 AM
StealthMode StealthMode is offline
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Originally Posted by PrettyBoy View Post
LOL if someone would have asked me the same question let's say like, 6 years ago or more, my reply would have been the same or similar to yours.
LOL I remember you giving me that answer--and I'm sure that post is less than 6 years old.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Munchkin03 View Post
The only people I've ever come across who are saving themselves for marriage are extremely devout Christians.
You know, I've come across a few non-Christians who have made that choice. It's more common than people think (just like devout Christians who absolutely don't want to wait is also common). I remember the first time I posted I had made the decision to wait before I became a Christian. A user (I think valkyrie) couldn't even wrap her head around it--her response sounded so confused.

ETA: Two of my non-Christian friends are living together and have been together for just over 3 years--still waiting for marriage. I don't understand how they (don't) do it. At all. They sleep together and even shower together but still hold out. I'm not sure what confuses me more--why they would be naked around each other when they are trying not to have sex or how they refrain from having sex when they're constantly naked around each other.
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Last edited by StealthMode; 03-14-2013 at 03:45 AM.
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