I would like genuine advice please

RealoReal · #1 07-21-2009, 06:38 PM

I went through the intake process for a sorority that has members that I really respect and looked up to who are seasoned members of the sorority whom I received references from also. I had a B- GPA an abundance of community service and volunteer hours, attended all the sorority events and helped out but did not get in...I was told it was because the members didn't think they knew me well enough. My package was good. This really disturbed me and my references.

I really want to try again because I really want to be a part of this particular sorority, I always have, only now I feel that the chapter wasn't genuine, and I have to go through the same women, and others are trying to steer me to other sororities, I just wanted advice on how to approach the situation.

Sincerely

Real

33girl · #2 07-21-2009, 06:42 PM

Just an FYI to less seasoned GCers:

The OP is talking about an NPHC sorority. If you are a member of an NPC sorority, don't answer her question.

Senusret I · #3 07-21-2009, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealoReal

I went through the intake process for a sorority that has members that I really respect and looked up to who are seasoned members of the sorority whom I received references from also. I had a B- GPA an abundance of community service and volunteer hours, attended all the sorority events and helped out but did not get in...I was told it was because the members didn't think they knew me well enough. My package was good. This really disturbed me and my references.

I really want to try again because I really want to be a part of this particular sorority, I always have, only now I feel that the chapter wasn't genuine, and I have to go through the same women, and others are trying to steer me to other sororities, I just wanted advice on how to approach the situation.

Sincerely

Real

1. You have a good GPA, but not an excellent one. This is an opportunity to redouble your efforts academically.

2. You are lucky that you were given a reason at all. I know campuses with HUNDREDS of women who will never know why they weren't selected.

All you can do is try again. Or don't. It won't kill you either way.

jojapeach · #4 07-21-2009, 07:05 PM

I agree with Senusret. There are no guarantees you will be selected the first, second, or third time you apply for membership. So if the sorority is in your heart, use this opportunity to determine what could make you shine even better. If you trust the person who gave you the reason you were not accepted, then work on getting to know the women you would like to call your sisters one day. The ladies may honestly see your face at events and helping out, but they sincerely may not feel they know you as a person.

Good luck to you.

Senusret I · #5 07-21-2009, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojapeach

I agree with Senusret. There are no guarantees you will be selected the first, second, or third time you apply for membership. So if the sorority is in your heart, use this opportunity to determine what could make you shine even better. If you trust the person who gave you the reason you were not accepted, then work on getting to know the women you would like to call your sisters one day. The ladies may honestly see your face at events and helping out, but they sincerely may not feel they know you as a person.

Good luck to you.

This is so freaking true.

I have a brother/friend who is (to this day) still somewhat salty with me because I declined when he asked me to sponsor him. I thought he was a cool enough guy, but I didn't KNOW him well enough to put my seal of approval on him.

I wish there was a way for me to impart to aspirants that although we are very happy with your achievements in life and presume you to be gentlemen, we still need to KNOW you in order to call you our Brother.

For me, at least, if I enjoy kicking it with you on a non-fraternity tip, you've got my vote. If I LIKE you, you can have a shaky GPA and zero community service -- you can be taught those things.

It's subjective for a reason and I am okay with that.

RealoReal · #6 07-21-2009, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojapeach

I agree with Senusret. There are no guarantees you will be selected the first, second, or third time you apply for membership. So if the sorority is in your heart, use this opportunity to determine what could make you shine even better. If you trust the person who gave you the reason you were not accepted, then work on getting to know the women you would like to call your sisters one day. The ladies may honestly see your face at events and helping out, but they sincerely may not feel they know you as a person.

Good luck to you.

Thank you for your answer. I'm just a little torn. I didn't know whether the reason was true or not. I really want to be a part of it...but I don't want to waste my time either. I did think about this time around letting them get to know more of me as a person.

Again,

Thank you,

Real

RealoReal · #7 07-21-2009, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealoReal

Thank you for your answer. I'm just a little torn. I didn't know whether the reason was true or not. I really want to be a part of it...but I don't want to waste my time either. I did think about this time around letting them get to know more of me as a person.

Again,

Thank you,

Real

I also thought about it and said maybe they really didn't feel they knew me as a person...So I felt maybe this time around they could get to know me, but I didn't figure that this would be a sole reason not to be selected either.

RealoReal · #8 07-21-2009, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Just an FYI to less seasoned GCers:

The OP is talking about an NPHC sorority. If you are a member of an NPC sorority, don't answer her question.

This doesn't matter to me. I would love everyones input

Thank you

Real

knight_shadow · #9 07-21-2009, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealoReal

This doesn't matter to me. I would love everyones input

Thank you

Real

We all can't give input on this topic because we're not all in NPHC organizations.

RealoReal · #10 07-21-2009, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

It does matter. NPHC intake is very different than the selection process I went through in the NPC.

Why would you welcome the advice and suggestions from those who clearly do not know what you're experiencing right now?

The experience is rejection...everyone from either council can relate. The point is being rejected, and also not receiving a bid are pretty similar, and trying again.

Thanks

Real

knight_shadow · #11 07-21-2009, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealoReal

The experience is rejection...everyone from either council can relate. The point is being rejected, and also not receiving a bid are pretty similar, and trying again.

Thanks

Real

Yes, all councils have members that get rejected. It's what happens after that varies. That's why we said what we did.

Read what jojapeach and Sen typed.

DrPhil · #12 07-21-2009, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealoReal

The experience is rejection...everyone from either council can relate.

Thanks

Real

How people deal with rejection differs across councils. You're only an aspirant. Don't pretend to know it all when you're talking to GLO members.

Reflect on that as it pertains to your real life interactions with members of that NPHC sorority. It may be the case that they did not know you enough and it may also be that they did not like the little that they know about you. That may be why they don't seem that genuine.

All in all, you're asking us something you should be able to figure out on your own. You can gauge from your attendance at chapter programs and interactions with those women whether or not they want you to try again and whether they would be more receptive the second time around. We wouldn't be able to tell you that.

tld221 · #13 07-21-2009, 08:28 PM

the thread can either end here while its still on a positive/informative note, or head south. lets see.

DrPhil · #14 07-21-2009, 08:34 PM

It should head south. The aspirant tried to act familiar.

RealoReal · #15 07-21-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

It should head south. The aspirant tried to act familiar.

Why be negative. I'm not trying to act anyway. I said I would like opinions on the subject not just based on councils. Not that I know everything. I know that the two differ. I just wanted opinions on whether to try again or not and am welcoming information from whomever may have been rejected, and if you feel like you can't help then don't respond. Like my posting said I would like genuine advice and I'll add input, advice, feelings, opinions, from those who may be experiencing what I am experiencing and what they feel about the subject.

Who is anyone to tell me what I already know, and what to figure out on my own, When in fact you don't know me. None of my responses are negative, nor will they ever be.

Thank You

Real