sisterhood

msujenn · #1 02-09-2010, 11:16 PM

Today I had one of my new member meetings with our pledge teams. I understand that being a pledge sister at a sorority doesn't automatically make you bff's with everyone but I thought that they were still supposed to treat you as if you were going to become a sister. So today at my meeting the president stood up in the middle and was like we're not going to act as if were all sisters with you because right now your not. You are beneath us because you're not yet initated. You have to earn our sisterhood, and we won't treat you as one until your initation day. She said that it's a higherarchy, and because we are new members that we are worse then them because we don't have the official badge and everyone at the table agreed and said that its totally true. Do i have a right to be upset that they don't want to be my friend and treat me nicely just because i'm not initated. I'm still the same person that i'll be in april.

Sorry it's so long!

msujenn · #2 02-09-2010, 11:33 PM

ohh i completly understand that..but the way she said it made it seem like the day of our initation they will start treating us differently because we'll have a different pin on. and it just seems like to me that as my president you should be atleast showing me some respect just like im expected to show you respect. just becuase your initatied doesn't make you better then me. i just don't understand that part...atleast thats the way she made it seem.

DrPhil · #3 02-09-2010, 11:40 PM

LookAtMeImADelt is a cornball.

msujenn · #4 02-09-2010, 11:41 PM

LookAtMeImADelt: i think you have alot to learn about life. just becuase you get to wear the official badge and i don't doesn't mean your superior to me in life and that you can treat me any worse. and if they can't see that i'm a classy, amazing young woman then there wrong. because i am..and then they shouldn't of given anyone bids if they refuse to treat them kindly.

DrPhil · #5 02-09-2010, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msujenn

LookAtMeImADelt: i think you have alot to learn about life. just becuase you get to wear the official badge and i don't doesn't mean your superior to me in life and that you can treat me any worse. and if they can't see that i'm a classy, amazing young woman then there wrong. because i am..and then they shouldn't of given anyone bids if they refuse to treat them kindly.

I think you have a lot to learn about the difference between "your" and "you're"; "there" and "they're"; and "shouldn't have" and "shouldn't of."

ColdInCanada11 · #6 02-09-2010, 11:48 PM

I don't know what chapter you're in, but in my opinion, that shouldn't matter. Your chapter might be different from Alpha Gam (which is all I know), but there are basic standards.
They should be treating you as a sister! I would start by talking to your New Member Coordinator (or whatever that position is called), and see if this is a misundertanding, albeit a really weird one. If she gives you the same answer, I would talk to either the chapter advisor or panhellenic/greek office (this depends on your campus and if you have a greek life office). If this is actually how they are going to treat you, that's a serious issue.
However, I would just start with talking to the aforementioned people, and see what's what. I hope that this works out for you! Good luck

msujenn · #7 02-09-2010, 11:51 PM

my new member coordinator was there...shes the one who brought up the higherarchy...however she didn't say it as rudely as the president did. and it makes it worse bc the new member coordinator is the reason why i joined that particular one in the first place. they were all so nice to start with and told us that they loved us and were excited to call us sisters...but then like today they just changed.

DrPhil · #8 02-09-2010, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msujenn

my new member coordinator was there...shes the one who brought up the hierarchy...however she didn't say it as rudely as the president did. and it makes it worse bc the new member coordinator is the reason why i joined that particular one in the first place. they were all so nice to start with and told us that they loved us and were excited to call us sisters...but then like today they just changed.

I'm just trying to help, Ike.

ColdInCanada11 · #9 02-10-2010, 12:03 AM

If it were me, I would talk to my sister-mother (big sister/diamond sister, whatever they're called in your org) if you've gotten yours and explain how you are feeling. If that's not possible/doesn't produce anything, I would go to the alumnae advisor on your panhel. If you don't have one, talk to your chapter advisor or possibly your IHQ.

KSUViolet06 · #10 02-10-2010, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I'm just trying to help, Ike.

Ike don't need no help!

msujenn · #11 02-10-2010, 12:11 AM

okay look delt guy...i don't know where your from but sororities are supposed to be different then fraternities. all the people i've know who have gone greek as in sororities have never been treated like this. the way im being treated is like that of a fraternity. and i don't need some "frat guy" who probly hasn't gotten laid in about a year to tell me that im beneath someone else.

KSUViolet06 · #12 02-10-2010, 12:14 AM

Ignore him.

I can guarantee you he just got initiated like 5 minutes ago.

He's a pimp in his own mind right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n39ZAOKvCU

Pertaining to your question: no one should be telling you that you are beneath them. I'd suggest talking to your VP, NM Ed person, etc. about how you feel.

msujenn · #13 02-10-2010, 12:21 AM

thank your for all your help everyone! and KSUViolet06: that seriously just made my night

ASAlamb · #14 02-10-2010, 02:04 AM

Jenn,

Though you are not yet initiated, these women still offered you a bid into their sisterhood and should treat you that way! You may not have the same ritual experience or knowledge of your organization yet, but you are still considered a member (albeit a new one).

I would recommend talking to one of your chapter advisors if the actives are really insisting on this mindset regarding new members in your chapter.

ASTalumna06 · #15 02-10-2010, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAlamb

I would recommend talking to one of your chapter advisors if the actives are really insisting on this mindset regarding new members in your chapter.

ESPECIALLY if this behavior escalates into something that is clearly hazing (and these statements make me think that some might be on the way...). If you already recognize that this is wrong/makes you uncomfortable, then you need to address it as soon as possible. These girls are your sisters and they should try to understand how you're feeling, and to attempt to rectify the situation. If they don't, then I would definitely take the path that others here have suggested and go to someone with more authority.