SERIOUS question about weight discrimination and rushing?

[Sophie1982]

Hello,
My name is Sophie and I am going to be a freshman this fall. My entire life I have looked forward to being able to rush a sorority and find a place with my 'sisters' that I can have fun and really make the most of my college experience. I was discussing the whole rush process with a friend of mine, who is also rushing this fall at a different university, and she left me with a question that I'm hoping one of you can answer.
I've always thought of myself as very pretty and intelligent. I have always gotten top scores academically and I got a 32 on the ACT. I'm determined, and passionate, and creative. I love political arguments as much as I love painting as much as I love just letting loose and hanging out with friends. I've never had any problems, socially, and have NEVER had difficulty finding dates. My problem is this: I am very overweight. Until now, that hasn't really presented a problem to me. I've never felt out of place or uncomfortable about it, and nobody has ever made a big deal over it, either. I just sort of accepted that my weight was a part of me, and not a bad or negative quality. Just another aspect, like the color of my hair or eyes.
Well, I was trying to find more information online about the whole rush process, and was researching sororities to decide which ones I felt were right for me, and I realized that every single picture on those online sites were of a slender, beautiful, petite sized girl. I went to a number of different college chapter web sites and kept seeing the same thing over and over again. It is making me kind of self-conscious, and I started realizing that perhaps my weight was going to cause a problem with me getting into a sorority. The more I thought about it, I realized that while, so far, I've been lucky, people are really cruel sometimes to others who aren't model material. I started imagining myself at the butt of some immature frat-boy's idea of a joke, or worse, not even getting a shot at joining a sorority in the first place because the other sisters may feel that, while I may fit EVERY other category they find important, I just don't fit THAT ONE.
Can any of you give me your thoughts on this? I'd really appreciate it- it would put my mind at ease. I was really looking forward to Greek life, but it's hard to think about with these questions unanswered. Do any of you have experience in this situation? Do all of your new pledges have to be thin to get in? I'm so confused right now. Please, no joke responses, okay? This was a serious question, one that I'm almost afraid to ask, and I'm looking for sincere responses. Thank you, very much.

Sincerely,

Sophie Kingstaad
New Orleans, LA

[GammaSigPrez]

Sophie..
Where are you going to be attending school? Just curious!

------------------
Visit GSS-Delta Chi Chapter Online
http://gammasigmasigma.tripod.com

[PenguinTrax]

Sophie -

I answered you on the Greek Life board.

Barbara

[SIUAGD]

Sophie,
That's a very valid and understandable question. In my pledge class, I have a sister who is a larger sized girl. We love her just the same as if she was a size two. The main thing while rushing is to FIND A HOUSE WHERE YOU'D BE COMFY IN YOUR PJ'S!!! I didn't look for who had the best nationals or the prettiest house. I looked for girls who thought the same things were important(gpa, ethics, responsibilities). I found what I was looking for, a home and another family. I totally understand your worries abot rush, but every girl is nervous about rush. I was. And as far as the fraternity boy question, boys(whether they're in a fraternity or not) are immature and can be mean and stupid. I've seen guy make fun of girls because of the most inconsequential things. BUT, if it happens to you, your sisters will be there to support and protect you, as you would do for them!
All of the things you spoke about in your post(gpa, creativity, and others) would be a great asset to ANY sorority! You sound like a wonderful person! If you'd like to talk more, post you're email and I can write you. Good luck in the fall with school and rushing. I hope you find a house that make you happy and where you feel welcome!

[This message has been edited by SIUAGD (edited June 26, 2000).]

[RedandBlack]

Sophie,

Though I'm only a rushee, I wanted to tell you that it sounds like to me that you know who you are. You are passionate about what you want and you seem to be for the most part happy with your appearence. Yes, so many girls our age struggle with weight issues and so many take it to the extreme. However, if you are secure with the person you are, and it sounds like you are to me, my advice would be to go for it. I know plenty of girls that aren't a size 4 (or anywhere near it) in some of the best sororities at my school. When it comes down to it, all you have to do is let your inner beauty shine through. If a group is not willing to overlook a few physical faults (when no one is perfect, even if they are skinny), then maybe that group is not the group for you. Yes, some groups do concern themselves with issues such as weight, but there are plenty that don't. Be yourself and don't worry about things you can't change. I am positive that you will find a group that likes you for YOU, and not because of the number of a clothing tag! Good luck! (ps what school are you rushing??)



------------------
Settle for unhappiness and slowly start to die, Hiding in the shadows with ghosts in your eyes, Yeah you're nearly out of time, you've got no reason got no rhyme,
Never too late to change your fate and walk that Narrow Line.