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  #1  
Old 04-23-2000, 07:23 PM
charlotte charlotte is offline
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Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Sheboygan, WI
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Post What happens if...

Just recently, our sorority ended the spring pledge period, and we crossed over several girls who we thought were very positive addition to our organization. One of these girls missed a lot of the hell week activities due to very serious health problems. We were all a little bit leary about crossing her over because she had missed so much, but in the end, we all thought that she wanted it and that she had proven herself. Not even two weeks later, she started picking fights with her pledge sisters by bringing up another girl's painful past and then tried to drag the rest of the sorority into the fighting. She started accusing everyone in the sorority of talking about her behind her back. When we tried to talk to her about all of this (because we, the older members, found out about all of this when she left rather nasty and immature messages on our answering machines), she went to the Head of Greek Life and told her that we were all harrassing her and that we wouldn't leave her alone. We, of course, were the last ones to know about any of this. But now, she's gone inactive, and is telling anyone who will listen all about how awful we were to her when all we did was try to be sisters to her. Many of us stood up for her and defended her and are feeling incredibly betrayed by her actions. Her bad-mouthing our sorority to other people--especially other greeks--has gotten worse by the day. We make it a point not to discuss the situation,a nd we never bad-mouth her in any way to anyone, and none of us talk to her, and yet according to her, we're still all harrassing her. She's even gone so far as to blame us for her health problems. How do we defend ourselves against this without risking our integrity? ANd how do we rebuild the reputation (which was excellent until this) she's so effectively tarnished?
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  #2  
Old 04-23-2000, 08:32 PM
equeen equeen is offline
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Wow. You must be going through a LOT. I haven't been there personally...but I have a few thoughts on this. If you don't mind, I'd rather email you directly with my thoughts. Please let me know if this is OK.

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  #3  
Old 04-23-2000, 08:39 PM
Siobhan Siobhan is offline
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Unhappy

My chapter went through something quite similar to your situation. If you would like to know about our situation and how we dealt with it feel free to email. I know it always helps a little bit to get some advice from someone who has been there.

Siobhan
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  #4  
Old 04-24-2000, 12:15 AM
charlotte charlotte is offline
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Please, feel free to e-mail me. Right now, we can use all the ideas and support we can get. I realize this whole situation seems almost "catty," but nonetheless it has become a huge problem. Thanks!!!!
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  #5  
Old 04-24-2000, 09:48 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Terminate her. (not with extreme prejudice, just from the sorority). You have grounds just from the messages and the bad-mouthing. I'm assuming she is just inactive now, but once someone is terminated, it is basically like in the eyes of the sorority they were never a member. Every chapter has gone thru it and if not, they are made up of saints or stupid.
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  #6  
Old 04-25-2000, 12:49 AM
dirtyharry
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Angry

Well is she tight with her info. or was she tight with her info. before she crossed? If not then you should have dropped her before initiation. Let her try again the next year. It sounds as if there was a little beef before you all went over and discovered her sickness. Why didn't the line speak up then? Did you tell your Dean about her attitude?

Sounds as if she is breaking up your chapter. I'm not sure what your policy is on expulsion of members, but I would imagine it would have to be a far serious crime than internal fighting to kick her out completely. I honestly don't think you'll be able to kick her out, but you can continue to ignore her and strip her of her duties and responsibilities to the chapter.
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