"The One? Or "Your Soul Mate? - Page 3

SATX*APhi · #31 01-30-2003, 08:07 PM

Okay, so I thought about it and here is my take:

I do believe in "the one." I also believe in destiny and fate. "The one" comes into your life at the "right moment" because of some predetermined plan. I see how some of you may confuse this with "the one at the moment." Yes, he may be the one I am in love with at the moment and decide to marry, but not because he came into my life at the right time, but because he is "the one," he was sent into my life at the "right moment." Mr. Perfect is going to walk into my life at the perfect moment in both of our lives and we will live happily ever after. Thank you.

James · #32 01-30-2003, 08:28 PM

Actually, I have it on the highest authority that you felt tired that day and procrastinated something . .. . and missed your perfect soul mate.

Quote:

Originally posted by SATX*APhi
Okay, so I thought about it and here is my take:

I do believe in "the one." I also believe in destiny and fate. "The one" comes into your life at the "right moment" because of some predetermined plan. I see how some of you may confuse this with "the one at the moment." Yes, he may be the one I am in love with at the moment and decide to marry, but not because he came into my life at the right time, but because he is "the one," he was sent into my life at the "right moment." Mr. Perfect is going to walk into my life at the perfect moment in both of our lives and we will live happily ever after. Thank you.

juniorgrrl · #33 01-31-2003, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Munchkin03
Does anyone think they can find "the One" at a young age? By young, I don't mean 12 or 13. I'm talking about people at the end or just out of college.

My boy and I started dating at the beginning of our senior year of HS - we were 17. We've been together all through college, and are getting engaged (hopefully *very* soon).

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is "the one." We had different majors and activites in college, so we had the opportunity to get out and meet other people and do different things. But there has never been another person that understands me the way he does, and vice versa.

In the Kurt Vonnegut book Slapstick, the main character has a twin sister, and when they get together, they're immensely smart and capable of doing nearly anything. And when they're not, they're just ordinary - their "apart" names are Betty and Bobby Brown (to show just how plain and normal they are). When Josh and I are together, we are downright hilarious - we entertain ourselves and our friends, I seriously think that he and I have the next million dollar idea in our brains. When we're apart for periods of time we say stuff like "I miss you bobby/betty brown" because with our relationship, the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts.

Its possible - just very rare

KSig RC · #34 01-31-2003, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Actually, I have it on the highest authority that you felt tired that day and procrastinated something . .. . and missed your perfect soul mate.

BRILLIANT.

Look - if you want to narrow yourselves to something that you can't prove one way or another, congratulations . . . but let's smile on reality for a while, and think that PERHAPS THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN COPPING OUT and using "FATE" as the excuse.

Don't "miss" your soulmate - suck it the hell up and do something about it. Fate is a great concept, but it quickly becomes an excuse for those without the will to seize the day.

Carpe Diem solves so many of life's mysteries, it's not even funny

justamom · #35 01-31-2003, 07:49 AM

KSig RC-Carpe Diem solves so many of life's mysteries, it's not even funny This is how my Hubby signs ALL his correspondence. I absolutely agree with you!

I don't think anyone is implying that they will LITERALLY wait for some guy to walk up and be instantly recognized as "THE ONE".
At least I hope not. We did a lot of philosophizing back in our 20's.
You know, those GREAT conversations that last into the morning hours. It always came up what if, like James joked about, you JUST missed him/her, turned a corner a second or two too late. Well, in our minds we knew that somehow it would be rectified.

It seems like forever when you are waiting, waiting. I dare say some may have overlooked or turned away from *the one*. Circumstances led to apx. 10 years of on and off again dating for Hubby and me. Several times, I was so distressed because I couldn't see HOW it would possibly work out. It would have been easy to fall for another. There were plenty of opportunities and many I felt affection for. It was just marking time until out of nowhere, he calls and in an instant we BOTH knew we would never be apart again. There will be disagreements, there will be times you want to knock sense into each other, but it's like Juniorgrrl said-because with our relationship, the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts.

I'd also like to quote some of what KDatUTC said..
Ivory-When I first see him, it'll be like magic. It'll be so powerful, that not only will we feel it, but everyone in the room will be affected. I feel certain there IS a "knowing" there sure was for me call it love at first sight if you want. But, as far as the rest of the room- it may depend on the number of beers they've had!

He pulled me on his lap and tried to give me his key as I walked past his dorm room. I don't think he was feeling cosmic magnetism, but he was feeling something! Still, as I recall, there was that instant when our eyes met... So, until he enters my life....I'm going to learn, grow emotionally, and love myself. ...and then you will be ready to meet one another.

Anyone ever see "Somewhere in Time"? There is a scene where
Jane Seymour is approached by Christopher Reeves. She says,"Is it you?". He pauses, taken aback and replies. "Yes." For all the romantics-RENT THIS MOVIE!!!! Great soundtrack as well.

SATX*APhi · #36 01-31-2003, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Actually, I have it on the highest authority that you felt tired that day and procrastinated something . .. . and missed your perfect soul mate.

Then the guy I missed was almost perfect for me, but not perfect enough, so God decided he wasn't my soul mate after all.

He's coming though -- some day.

Hell, he may even be here; I just haven't realized it yet.

James · #37 01-31-2003, 07:49 PM

I agree great movie. Although I hope that if I develop a method of time travel to go back in time I am not undone by a penny. (sorry folks you had to see the movie

Quote:

Originally posted by justamom

Anyone ever see "Somewhere in Time"? There is a scene where
Jane Seymour is approached by Christopher Reeves. She says,"Is it you?". He pauses, taken aback and replies. "Yes." For all the romantics-RENT THIS MOVIE!!!! Great soundtrack as well.

XOMichelle · #38 01-31-2003, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KSig RC

Fate is a great concept, but it quickly becomes an excuse for those without the will to seize the day.

Increadibly well said!
-M

James · #39 01-31-2003, 08:50 PM

Pick your soul mate:

http://www.azfunnypictures.com/perfectmatch.shtml

sororitygirl2 · #40 02-02-2003, 07:30 PM

Okay, I am joining this conversation a little late...

But, first of all, James -- it seems like this relates to my issues...

You know them well.

I do not believe there is a "one" that you can be happy with. You can love many people throughout the course of your life. There are dozens of people who can make you happy and "complete" you, so to speak. I agree with the people who say it is all timing.

However, I am not a pessimist... I'm not saying that it's only timing and that relationships mean nothing and they only work just when they are convenient. I just think they you have to incorporate the best of both worlds... practicality of being with someone who is also ready for what you want (instead of forcing something with someone who isn't) and passion/emotions/etc...

cuaphi · #41 02-02-2003, 11:44 PM

I just had to chime in here and say that what Juniorgrl said was adorable. I think that's what we're all looking for, someone who makes us feel more powerfull and wonderfull.

I just happened to have a round table discussion about this topic at the bar last night. What we concluded was that sure, you have to be in the mindset of wanted to find the right person but it has to be subconsious rather than actively questioning if every guy you meet is 'the one.' Also, everyone pretty much has a checklist on what they're looking for and it's as much about the right timing as knowing a good thing when you see it.

juniorgrrl · #42 02-03-2003, 12:05 AM

While timing is a factor in things, I don't think that people should break up simply because of a major change (going to college, grad school, etc.) If that were the case, Boy and I would have given up long ago, when we graduated from HS. Or we could have done it recently when we graduated from college.

I was definitely looking for "the one" when we met. I figured it would be a HS thing and that would be it. But the more we got to know each other, the more we realized that this was something amazing.

Just because someone is "the one" doesn't mean that the relationship doesn't require work. In fact, I think that those require *more* work, simply because you know they are so right, that you're willing to fight tooth and nail to keep it.

We've often lamented that it would have been so much better had we met later on - it gets to be quite stressful to date someone for half a decade, and know that there is still another 2 years before getting married. But, we just kind of figure that it becomes a part of the fabric of our relationship and that in the end, it all works out for the best - that we took the time to get our educations before getting married, that we're making sure that we're financially stable, etc.

James · #43 04-08-2009, 06:31 PM

ttt

KSig RC · #44 04-09-2009, 11:08 AM

Looking back on this thread like 6 years later (WOW), I still feel about the same way, but want to add one thing:

Many people use the concept of "THE ONE" (or, rather, the feelings they believe they should 'have' or 'feel' when they meet "THE ONE") as a reason to find fault in otherwise fine relationships, or as an excuse when they get scared that a relationship has progressed to a point of uncomfortable decisions.

That's really the genesis of my feeling that the concept is a cop out a lot of the time.

It's also a convenient reason to exclude people from the dating pool, which is often a sign of social discomfort or fear - after all, we all have this concept of who "THE ONE" is in our mind's eye, however silly that may be.