children??

Also, I have a child. Would this present a problem when attempting to gain membership in a BGLO sorority? Thanks for any helpful responses.

[AKAtude]

Within my organization, it does not pose a problem or would hinder someone from seeking membership.

[BlueReign]

I am a graduate member of SGRho and I have 3 children!! I include them in my life as much as I can and take them to activities sponsored by my organization that are youth-oriented. Please don't feel that a child will hinder you. It's just a matter of making time for all of the things in your life that you feel are important. Plus I like the fact that I am exposing my children to greek life before they get to college.

[1Babygirl2000]

The fact that you have a child should not hinder your chances of becoming a member of a sorority. One of my undergrad sorors/sands who just crossed is a full time student and a full time mother. Hope that gives you some inspiration!

------------------
#1 Baby Girl
Spr. 2000
Alaska Alumnae

[Discogoddess]

Left Out??:

I would take some time to seriously weigh your responsibilities and decide whether you can devote a serious amount of time, money, and energy to the sorority of your choice, given your school and parenting duties. The four NPHC sororities have been around for decades and aren't going anywhere, so we'll be around whenever your life's responsibilities afford you the opportunity to apply for membership.

[dstbrat]

i agree with dg. it can be done, but, i have seen it done poorly. sometimes children of bruhs and sorors are in places where young children ought not be. it frustrates me to see samll children at parties, bar-be-que and step shows when music is being played with explicit lyrics, dirty chants are said, and some orgs are grinding on the floor, etc. those are not appropriate places for kids. i don't like to see kids throwing up signs and calling like sorors. that, in my opinion, is inappropriate. some people thinks it's cute. but, that is how legacies grow up thinking that they are promised/owed membership. you just have to be careful and responsible about how you handle the situation.

[DELTABRAT]

Left out?

I think it is perfectly possible to have children and join a sorority. I will agree with dstbrat that it is a personal decision the type of exposure that that child gets after crossing. It saddens my heart to see young children at events that are not appropriate. It is easy to feel left out, though. I have to admit that I have taken my son to events. I have to aks beforehand what type of "things" will be going on. Usually Sorors are pretty respectful. We all have a nurturing side to us : ) But when the Bruhs come...WHEW!!! I usually have to go at that time. I love 'em but y'all know what I am sayin'. I have a child (although I didn't when I pledged), and I have to commend women who have children and still go through with the process. I have seen two in my chapter. Both with children age 4-6. The support system has to be TIGHT, though. Both of them lived with their parents (this worked for them although others find it awkward to live at home during the process). The kids dads stepped in as well. I would say it is possible but the support has to be REALLY STRONG! There's just NO way for the child to have to be present at all of the events.

Just my $19.13

Thanks for your replies and encouragement. I do not have a young child (he is 8 3/4)and I do have a very strong support system. My family is the greatest; they are always there when I need them. My question, I guess, was how would the members treat a situation as my own? Would they look at it like I am not responsible? or maybe, when I pledge, that I am abandoning my child all of the time? You know? Any feedback from this standpoint? What would you think of a single mother who was pledging your sorority?

Originally posted by Left out??:
Would they look at it like I am not responsible? or maybe, when I pledge, that I am abandoning my child all of the time? You know? Any feedback from this standpoint? What would you think of a single mother who was pledging your sorority?

I think you are setting a good example by demonstrating that you want to continue your education, and that you want to get involved in a sorority (and not for the parties, either). Having never met you, you may want to give a lot of thought as to whether you will be able to manage school, your son AND being dedicated to your sorority. It could be a tough squeeze on your personal time (you need time for YOURSELF, too, don't forget!). But if you think you can do it all, good luck to you (and remember to get plenty of sleep)!!

[ZetaAce]

Left Out?-

I had a single mother pledge my sorority. Her daughter was 5. We didn't look down on her at all! She always put her daughter first of course, but she has a strong support system and she participated in every event that she had to. As long as you are taking care of your obligations no one is going to feel like you are irresponsible. Becoming a member is not 'abandoning' your child. Don't think that someone is going to think you are wrong.

What's most important is how you feel about it. If you feel you have enough resources (time, money, support, etc.) to pledge then I say go for it! All sororities have plenty of people with different obligations (like motherhood, school, work, etc.) and still find time to become productive members. And like someone said before, if you don't feel the time is right, we will be here. (You can become a member when you are 90 if that's the best time for you! ) Good Luck!!

ZetaAce

I agree with dstbrat. There are just some places not suitable for young children.

Left Out,
One of my line sisters was 25 or 26 and she had 3 kids when we pledged and another one was 5 or 6 months pregnant when we began. Also, at my campus there were girls who joined other BGL Sororities and had a child or children. We didn't look down on them at all. We tried to help them out through baby sitting and we had a shower for our pregnant LS. It's all about time management for school, the organization of your choice, and your child.

[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited June 20, 2000).]

[Eclipse]

c & c 1913,
I know this is going to open up a can of worms, but were your linesisters married at the time?

Originally posted by Eclipse:
c & c 1913,
I know this is going to open up a can of worms, but were your linesisters married at the time?

In response to eclipse, I suppose one could also ask the nature of the question and why would you want to know?

[DELTABRAT]

Left out?

In my experience, it is not something that is frowned upon. Never once was it like, "Choose...the sorority or your son." Nor was it like "Oh, you have too many other responsibilities to pledge." Also it never was like "Because you haven't missed a function, you must be a bad mom...therefore..." If you choose a sorority chapter with positive, uplifting women, it shouldn't be a problem. On the other hand if yhe chapter is a bunch of women interested only in having errands run and "hazin" then it may be an issue. We are all women. We all would like to be married and have children...one day. Most of us understand sacrifice and committment. Many of us welcomeit as long as you can delegate time efficiently so that nothing seems to be getting "back burnered." God, academics and family should always come first. That's understood...by most.

Good luck. E-mail me personally if there are any questions you would like to know personally.

[DELTABRAT]

Eclipse,

"You knew the job was dangerous when you took it."
Superchicken theme song

Why is the marital status of these women an issue?