Who here knows what it's like to go without?

[MeezDiscreet]

My pastor always raises this question when he's testifying about God's grace and mercy and I can really feel him because I grew up poor. My family struggled up until I was about a freshman in high school so I learned about sacrifice.

How many of yall feel me? Share!!

I can remember a time when I went to my mom crying because all of the other girls at school brought Barbies to play with and laughed at me because I didn't have one. She had to explain to me that her and my dad just couldn't afford it. I played like I understood but I was still sad. The next day, before she took us to school, she stopped at Eckerd's. She wouldn't let us go in with her and we didn't know why we stopped because going was out of the way for us. She took us on to school and before I got out, she handed me something. She went in and bought me a doll so I could fit in. It wasn't fancy (yall know the type of toys you get at a drugstore) but when I think back on it, that was one of the sweetest things. I actually teared up typing this.

[treblk]

You know, I had a similar conversation with a Soror friend not too long ago, and how we discussed that we all have our own levels and understanding of what poor is or what going without is.

I remember having to wear my clothes more than one day a week, because I didn't have enough clothes nor could my parents, working 4 jobs between the two of them, afford to clothes all of us like they wanted and I remember being teases when I was in the 7th grade. This boy I like even wrote in my year book (yes we had yearbooks in Jr. High?middle school) that though he thought I was a nice person, I stunk and that I should change my clothes. Talk about hurtful and a beating on the ole self-esteem.

[MeezDiscreet]

One of my supposed friends asked me one day when we were in the 7th grade, "So what you wearing tomorrow? The brown pants?" I know I told her something good but that really hurt my feelings because I thought "If my 'FRIEND' is saying this to me, what are other people saying about me?"

I think that may have been when I truly understood my family's finances. When my mom bought that doll for me, I was young and didn't really understand. And that's what I'm thankful for--we were poor but my sister, brother and I didn't even know it.

I knew my dad didn't get up early like my mom to go to work (he had his own engineering firm that didn't really take off until about '94) but I knew he prayed A LOT, worked in the church and taught Sunday School. I can remember being young and someone asking me what my dad did for a living and I told them "He works for God."

We also thought it was fun to eat pancakes for dinner but when I got older, I realized that was because you could feed a family of 5 for at least 3 meals on a $3 box of pancake mix.

People from church or my mom's job would also give us food--especially snacks during the times when we didn't go to school like Christmas break and summer break. I just thought everyone loved us a lot. They did but when I got older, I realized that they were trying to help my parents out.

[Still BLUTANG]

i remember when i was younger my parents had one car between the two of them, this beat up old datsun. it was old and beat up for as long as i could remember. i mean, i remember us being broke down on the side of the road at age 5 and broke down in the same car at 15... LOL. they had it from the time i was in day care until about maybe 10th grade - i remember (selfishly) being glad it finally died around the time i was supposed to start learning how to drive.

i am having trouble as i type this figuring out exactly how my parents did the one car switch-off. i remember getting up in the middle of the night (JUST when i finally went to sleep) so my mom could pick up my dad from work. Then waking up early in the morning so my dad could drop my mom off at the bus stop. i guess my dad would park at the metro and ride the train TO work, and then when my mom got off she rode to the metro to pick up the car.

it hurts my heart right now just thinking about it because my parents would go out of their way to make sure i had a ride no matter where i needed to go, and they would offer a ride to my friends if they needed it... however the favor was NEVER returned. There were many days i was late to activities and the last kid picked up from school or rehersals. my parents made it a priority that i would be able to have those experiences (band, ballet, choir, etc), even though that meant they had to play this ridiculous scheduling game.

this might not seem like a huge hardship, but we lived out in the middle of the county before metro buses made convenient stops and waaay before the train stations extended out here.

[mulattogyrl]

I can relate to this. My gym teacher was nice enough to buy my sneakers in 5th grade, because my parents couldn't afford them. I remember, they were blue and grey Nikes . My family didn't have a phone until I was in middle school, no cable until the middle of high school. I really had to find stuff to do when I was a child, lol. I used to write down my outfits for the week so I would make sure to mix and match what I had, because they were the same clothes from last week.

It just makes me so thankful now when I do have. I have to check myself when I'm on a 'tight budget' now and complain that I might not have money to eat out or buy a new outfit, because I'm paying the rent, I have cable with HBO and all that jazz, I have a home phone and a cell phone...I'm doing a lot better than I was when I was a child, and I should be grateful for that.

We spend so much on frivilous things nowadays, we really don't realize how much we DON'T need what we think we do.

I still love to eat breakfast for dinner, though!

[OneTimeSBX]

MeezDiscreet, i might tear up a bit too on this...

my parents made the decision to be a single income family. dad worked, mom stayed home with us (im the oldest of 3 girls). at the time i didnt understand. we wore hand me downs, ate oatmeal and drank powdered milk... mom was the most talented person ive ever met for coming up with different dishes each night to eat. we always ate as a family, never once missing a meal. sure, i was super jealous growing up, there was so much i wanted and couldnt have. they taught us early on there was no Santa, so that we wouldnt be disappointed at christmas time.

we were not quite poor, not quite broke...we never recieved any type of government assistance, we never went to school dirty or hungry. and we also never knew we had no money. my parents made sure to hide that from us and raise us comfortably, where all our necessities were met. last year i found my parents taxes from 87 and i think my dad made close to 10k. total.

i didnt appreciate it at the time, but now i know how to go without. and even though i do well for my family, my fiance was raised the same way, and we make sure not to give our daughter everything she wants. i appreciate more. i give more. i expect less and prepare for the worst. it made me better.

[MeezDiscreet]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

they taught us early on there was no Santa, so that we wouldnt be disappointed at christmas time.

<--- same here!!!

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

we were not quite poor, not quite broke...we never recieved any type of government assistance, we never went to school dirty or hungry. and we also never knew we had no money. my parents made sure to hide that from us and raise us comfortably, where all our necessities were met.

You're telling my story!!!

[OneTimeSBX]

you know, i watch these shows with these spoiled rotten people, and i cant help but feel bad for them. you just know that when times get rough, they wont be able to handle things...

[CrimsonTide4]

I definitely know what's it like to go without, moreso as a teen which is when my parents divorced and my mother had difficulty finding work.

Examples of what that was like: we shopped at the Goodwill, we were on free/reduced lunch in school, many times without cable, some utilities got turned off, Fila shoes bought at Marshall's instead of Foot Locker but I told my classmates we got them from out of town, baskets of food from the church for the holiday meals, etc.

[UrbanizdSkillz]

God knows I know what it's like to be without.

I remember coming home from school in the third grade and being evicted from my apartment. Imagine being in third grade and coming home and seeing all your possessions in the street. It was the first of four evictions in my lifetime. I've been in the middle of dead winter with no heat and literally nothing to eat. I've been without electricity or hot water for a week in the middle of fall, eating cold sandwiches and taking cold showers. I can definitely identify with the repeat outfits because I had only a few clothes. Being without a car and catching public transportation, lying about where I lived so I can "school-hop" in another county with a better education system. Living in a hotel room for months at a time. We weren't eligible for government assistance until my mother actually lost her job once for a brief period (a few months). After that, she made too much money on paper to be eligible. You name it, I just may have been through it.

What I'm thankful for is the fact that it all taught me resposibility and to be appreciative for what I do have. When God should see fit to bless me with an abundant income, I won't be one of those people who have no idea what to do with their money. Poverty makes you sad as well as wise.

But it was and always has been my early faith and relationship in Christ that sustained me. Now, I don't struggle like that anymore and I know that it's only by grace. Many people ask my mom why she never had anymore children than just me. She always responded that she couldn't afford more than one. Looking back now, I'm glad she was wise enough to make the decision.

So in short, I definitely know what it's like to go without.

[OneTimeSBX]

i did free/reduced lunch too. only back then, the regular lunch tickets were a different color than the cheaper ones. never did figure out why that was, because everyone knew by the color what type of lunch you got...

when my fiance got laid off last year 2 weeks after i had, that was the first thing i did: find out about reduced lunch for my daughter. it was 40 cents, dropped from $1.75. EVERY BIT COUNTS. we got jobs soon after, but when you end up in a situation like that? you cant panic. you cut coupons (which i hated as a child but ADORE now!), you buy off brand things...i swear we didnt have 2 ply toilet paper for the longest lol! but we survived, and didnt know the difference until we became adults.

[Little32]

Many of these posts are very similar to my childhood.

My parents tried, together and then individually, but it was a difficult road. I remember one Christmas where we only got fruit and candy bars in our stockings.

I learned many of the same lessons. To be appreciative of what I have, to work hard for what I have, and the differences between needs and wants.

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

Wow...reading some of these posts brings back some memories...we got evicted and had to move around a couple of times when I was young...I can remember the breakfast at night thing too...my stepdad was a loser so I know he hustled people out of money and never wanted to work a "real" job..I've always been obsessed with clothes and I can remember wanting more then I had...luckily my mom did manage to keep me in private school until 8th grade so I wore uniforms....I lived with my grandma from the time when I was around 11 yrs old and we have had utilities shut off, the rent late as all get out and I've seen the worry on my grandma's face when it was time to pay bills...I can say that thank God we always had food but things were rough and I got my first job at 13 by changing the age on a copy of my birth certificate and I've been working every since...I bought my own clothes from that point forward and helped my grandma out...I will tell anyone that I've been grown since I was 13....I had to do for myself and looking back I don't really have any regrets because my experiences have made me a "go-getter"....I just try to make sure that my daughter never has to worry about "adult" issues...I shield her from those stresses as best I can...

[Boom_Quack13]

Originally Posted by MeezDiscreet

My pastor always raises this question when he's testifying about God's grace and mercy and I can really feel him because I grew up poor. My family struggled up until I was about a freshman in high school so I learned about sacrifice.

How many of yall feel me? Share!!

I can remember a time when I went to my mom crying because all of the other girls at school brought Barbies to play with and laughed at me because I didn't have one. She had to explain to me that her and my dad just couldn't afford it. I played like I understood but I was still sad. The next day, before she took us to school, she stopped at Eckerd's. She wouldn't let us go in with her and we didn't know why we stopped because going was out of the way for us. She took us on to school and before I got out, she handed me something. She went in and bought me a doll so I could fit in. It wasn't fancy (yall know the type of toys you get at a drugstore) but when I think back on it, that was one of the sweetest things. I actually teared up typing this.

I teared up reading it.

I am one of six, so things were kind of lean for us at times too.

[ChanelLover]

I can't say that I know what its like to go without. I grew up in a upper middle class home and we just didn't struggle. For a while, when I was younger, I was like these kids you see on My Sweet 16, etc. I guess its part of the maturing process and/or the fact that when I went to college I met and become friends with people who were totally different from me, I think that I have become a better person. I realize that I don't like who I used to be(stuck-up, bougie, unsympathetic, cold, etc. ).I am so appreciative of the things that the Lord and my parents provided for me. Reading some of these stories, brought a tear to my eyes also, because I realize how blessed I have been and how easily things could have been on the other foot.

I really don't know any of you personally, but I believe that the Lord wouldn't give you anything that you couldn't handle. And these expierences have probably made you into stong, independent, successful women.

Sorry its so long!!