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  #31  
Old 07-03-2007, 10:11 AM
TonyB06 TonyB06 is offline
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In my 3+ years on GreekChat I have to say this is one of the most worthwhile threads I've ever read. I don't really have a hardship story to add, but I can appreciate the testimonies shared, and the values the posters apparently got from learning to "overcome" so early in life.

Props to you, MeezDiscreet.
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  #32  
Old 07-03-2007, 10:42 AM
lovehaiku84 lovehaiku84 is offline
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As I have learned of other's hardships I consider myself to be very blessed. However, being that my mother was raising my brother and I on her own, we did experience our fair share of financial hardships, although for the longest time we didn't know it. For example we did recieve free food around Thanksgiving some years, and I can remember hoping that my best friend, whose family had more money than mine, would not be the family that dropped off the box at our front door, because I didn't want her to think that we were needy, even though I guess we were. Also, I remember shopping at Payless for my sneakers, and for the longest time I didn't think anything of it. Then, in 7th grade this kid who was kind of in my clique was talking about shoes or something and he's like "Ugh, what kind of shoes are those?" I told him that they were cross trainers. And he's like, "No, what KIND (brand) are they?" I started to get all hot because I didn't want to admit that they were Payless (that was THE WORST place to get shoes at the time) and what made it worse was that my friend (who was white and had money) was sitting right there saying "Tell him what kind of shoes they are," thinking that they were actually name brand. I just kept saying that they were cross trainers, hoping that they would move on and hating them for putting me on the spot like that...And that was the worst that it ever got. So like I said I consider myself to have been very fortunate growing up because even though we didn't have a lot, we still had more than some of our friends and were even considered "rich" by a few...
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  #33  
Old 07-03-2007, 06:32 PM
MeezDiscreet MeezDiscreet is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB06 View Post
In my 3+ years on GreekChat I have to say this is one of the most worthwhile threads I've ever read. I don't really have a hardship story to add, but I can appreciate the testimonies shared, and the values the posters apparently got from learning to "overcome" so early in life.

Props to you, MeezDiscreet.
Thanks Tony
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  #34  
Old 07-03-2007, 10:04 PM
Lyoness Lyoness is offline
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Originally Posted by christiangirl View Post
My parents were determined to prove to themselves that they would never have to tell their children "no" because the funds simply weren't there. As a result, my sister and I had what my pastor calls the "Neiman Marcus" upbringing. We each had our own rooms in our not extravagant, but nice house. We both grew up with a backyard full of toys and more clothes than we knew what to do with. Basically, we had more material stuff than we did parents. I would gladly go back and trade some of that to have had more support and involvement from them than their money, but that's another story entirely.

That was my childhood/teen years. I can totally relate. It was cool. Has anyone heard of the term "house poor"? I heard someone say it in the doctor's office.
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  #35  
Old 07-03-2007, 10:36 PM
12dn94dst 12dn94dst is offline
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I also echo TonyB's sentiment. I don't have any hardship stories either, for the same reason christiangirl mentioned, but I definitely appreciate your stories and I greatly respect you all for being willing to share.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyoness View Post
Has anyone heard of the term "house poor"?
yup. it's basically when the only thing you can afford is your mortgage payment. you struggle to pay utilities and other basics.
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  #36  
Old 07-04-2007, 12:13 AM
AKA_Monet AKA_Monet is offline
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Originally Posted by 12dn94dst View Post
I also echo TonyB's sentiment. I don't have any hardship stories either, for the same reason christiangirl mentioned, but I definitely appreciate your stories and I greatly respect you all for being willing to share.



yup. it's basically when the only thing you can afford is your mortgage payment. you struggle to pay utilities and other basics.

So, my father has a "thing" for the acquisition of cars. Not the flashy ones or the massive fixer uppers, but stupid ones that no one will buy. Then he also got caught up in that late 70's early 80's IRS audit that killed a lot of Black owned businesses. Since, I do not have a business research background, that would be a very good topic to study for a graduate degree. Anyhow, there were "times" my mother was completely unsure if we would have a house over our heads and food to eat as children.

Now, I would never say we were impoverished, but I did not see lavish gifting until I was a teen. Clothes, cars, jewelry and that is when my mother got hip to the game my father did and told him to stop. So, then he tried it on me and I was too nerdy to like it. However, my brother on the otherhand... I don't think he ever has actually looked, purchased with his own money, and owned the pink slip to a vehicle EVER! Pisses me off to no end...

And as far as being "house broke". Yeah, my brother was in those ARM mortgages that have gone defunct. Hence, his logic for his divorce... Drama.

Whereas, my husband and I, we have a conventional mortgage. And when we got married, since my mother chose not to give us a "FHA Bridal Registry" where guests put money in a "pot" that can be used for a house downpayment, we had to ask for Lowes/Home Depot gift card. Got 2 ceiling fans for it with the install!

I think numerous people are unsure if they can do disciplined personal business decisions and we, who are educated, must try to assist those less fortunate in some of those issues. I also think we must teach them how to not take no for a final answer.
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  #37  
Old 07-04-2007, 10:26 AM
skeeliteful skeeliteful is offline
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Looking back on my childhood, I would have to say that we were EXTREMELY blessed. I have no idea how my mother was able to provide for my brothers and I without child support from my father (she has since taken him to court 3 times for back child support; but that's another thread). I can remember times when my mother wouldn't eat dinner so my brothers and I would have something to eat. I can remember being embarrassed to ask for the reduced lunch application. I remember being embarrassed to have friends come over because we couldn't afford cable, our A/C never worked and we had hand me down furniture. I remember going to pawn shops and shopping at thrift stores and Pic 'n Save. I remember having my flute repossessed for non-payment (somehow my mother was able to get it back). I remember my brother lying to my mother about his class ring being stolen when he actually pawned it to pay for his tuxedo to go to prom. When my brothers and I went to college we would always be sure to send out mother money when we got our financial aid refund checks. But through all of that my mother still managed to get my brothers and I everything we needed and most of what we wanted. We always had food on the table and clothes on our backs. There was never a time that we could ever say that our mother didn't do something or get something for us.
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  #38  
Old 07-05-2007, 04:14 AM
christiangirl christiangirl is offline
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Originally Posted by skeeliteful View Post
I can remember times when my mother wouldn't eat dinner so my brothers and I would have something to eat.
Our moms sound a lot alike. I remember once when I was really little. We were out and about and she didn't have any cash on her (this was before everyone had debit cards), but I was so hungry I didn't want to wait till we got home. She was just as hungry as I was, but she gave me the orange left over from her lunch and then she ate the peels after I was finished. I thought she was crazy, but that's how she grew up--times were too hard to throw the peel away. Man, I'd forgotten about that time. My mommy's definitely my shero. I think I'll go hug her now....*goes off to mommy's room*
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  #39  
Old 07-05-2007, 09:36 AM
OneTimeSBX OneTimeSBX is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skeeliteful View Post
I have no idea how my mother was able to provide for my brothers and I without child support from my father.
its called the grace of god...

once i learned my daughters father was hardly worth the air
he breathed, i swore she would not go without just because of him. i guess that was easy for me to say, seeing as how i only had one child, but it still made things difficult. i remember him asking if he could carry her on his taxes one year, i dont think i have ever laughed that hard! i told him hell no, pampers arent free. her food isnt free. the gas i put in my car to drive to work and pick up your slack isnt free.

i am not afraid to go without. i love to shop (when i have it to spend lol) and love to shop for other people even more. true, my child is not laced in designer everything, but she is always presentable, always polite, and nobody can tell the difference. the same way my parents raised me, and i am better because of it.
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  #40  
Old 07-05-2007, 07:27 PM
AKA_Monet AKA_Monet is offline
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Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX View Post
once i learned my daughters father was hardly worth the air he breathed, i swore she would not go without just because of him. i guess that was easy for me to say, seeing as how i only had one child, but it still made things difficult. i remember him asking if he could carry her on his taxes one year , i dont think i have ever laughed that hard! i told him hell no, pampers arent free. her food isnt free. the gas i put in my car to drive to work and pick up your slack isnt free.

i am not afraid to go without. i love to shop (when i have it to spend lol) and love to shop for other people even more. true, my child is not laced in designer everything, but she is always presentable, always polite, and nobody can tell the difference. the same way my parents raised me, and i am better because of it.
So not to be stupid, but how does it work? I thought the parent that has full custody gets to declare the kid on the taxes? How is he gonna ask for the exeption when he doesn't cover basic necessities?

I think that parents can provide for the basic "presentable" aspects for their children, i.e. cleanliness, neat clothing and politeness with out excessiveness or "conspicuous consumption". Yes, money does pay for aspects in life that one would never get, like a trip to Paris every summer in the Villa... But, if there is someone who vacations every d'Ete sur Ste. Tropez, I am sorry, but you would not be at GC posting.

I really do not like folks broadcasting their thoughts about richness. It is just another indication that they are really not rich in the first place. And it is in improper to discuss one's income.

Education is different, but there is a difference between educated and wise or learned. And wisdom is sage for the most part. As it relates to child rearing and poverty, wisdom and common sense teaching has nothing to do with one's economic status in life...

Because: You can place a 10 cent person in a million dollar dress and you still have a 10 cent person...

Or you can place a million dollar person in a 10 cent dress, but you still have a million dollar person...
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  #41  
Old 07-05-2007, 11:44 PM
Wonderful1908 Wonderful1908 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_Monet View Post
So not to be stupid, but how does it work? I thought the parent that has full custody gets to declare the kid on the taxes? How is he gonna ask for the exeption when he doesn't cover basic necessities?
People do this all the time, switch off claiming kids. Not even there own kids sometimes. Just a child with a social security number. I claimed my college roommate one year
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  #42  
Old 07-06-2007, 12:28 AM
BlueReign BlueReign is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX View Post
its called the grace of god...

once i learned my daughters father was hardly worth the air
he breathed, i swore she would not go without just because of him. i guess that was easy for me to say, seeing as how i only had one child, but it still made things difficult. i remember him asking if he could carry her on his taxes one year, i dont think i have ever laughed that hard! i told him hell no, pampers arent free. her food isnt free. the gas i put in my car to drive to work and pick up your slack isnt free.

i am not afraid to go without. i love to shop (when i have it to spend lol) and love to shop for other people even more. true, my child is not laced in designer everything, but she is always presentable, always polite, and nobody can tell the difference. the same way my parents raised me, and i am better because of it.

I have to quote you and say Amen. And the bolded part above is what makes me able to get up everyday and thank God. I receive compliments about my children all the time and I know it's because I pass on what's been given to me.

I have to add that most of the people who have posted about growing up with hardships here are some of the most rooted and down-to-earth people on GC. JMO.
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  #43  
Old 10-16-2007, 01:07 AM
KAPital PHINUst KAPital PHINUst is offline
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ttt

I saw the documentary Maxed Out and it had a clip of comedian Louis CK talking about being broke. I liked his jokes, and found a YouTube clip of the entire "being broke" bit which was HILARIOUS!!

I thought of this thread, and ttt'ed it to post the clip:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rpaCQKJpE9k
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