In-law venting thread

[WCsweet<3]

For those of you who's significant others family is crazy:
1) did they realize their family was awful at the beginning of the relationship? If no, did they ever realize it?

2) if you knew their family was awful and that you would be in contact with them on a somewhat regular basis, how did you make the decision to stay in the relationship?

[KSUViolet06]

^^^I think another important point to consider is to what extent does one's significant other KNOW that his family is awful?

For example: If he has a crazy mom, does he know that his mom is batshit crazy and take her with a grain of salt? Or does he think that every word out of her mouth is gospel (an get offended when you don't?)

[GratefulGramma]

My husband knew his mother was batshit crazy, and shared it with me because he was basically terrified of her. After his death, I found out some horrible things she had done to him as a child, but he never wanted me to know. She never had a kind word to say about me (got that from her best friend, after MIL died), which was fine with me; I stood between her and my husband and dared her to cross the line I drew in the sand. Oh, she didn't like me at all! She was a complete narcissist, and made everybody in her family miserable, but she was convincing to her friends.

ETA: We weren't teenagers when we got married. We were early/mid 30's, and not each other's first spouse, so we had an idea what we were doing. I loved my husband enough to spend the next 20 years between him and his crazy mother.

[MSKKG]

My younger son got engaged on the 5th, and I hope I will be a good MIL. I like his fiance, so that's a good start!

I loved my MIL, and she loved me. I can't image what some of you are dealing with.

[groovypq]

I shouldn't complain about my in-laws - my first MIL was bat-shit crazy, they are not - but in the past year or so it seems like everything with them is full of DRAMA. Martyr syndrome, miscommunication (hopefully not purposeful lying), constant griping, inability to plan anything simple, etc. I get claustrophobic when I'm around the whole group. I won't go into all the stories because I could write a book.

It's just getting harder and harder not to be frustrated, and I hate feeling that way because it bothers my husband (He knows my first MIL was nuts and I think he fears I'll hate his family).

Trying to find a subtle way to get out of the annual family beach week because last year, with five adults in a tiny condo, I was losing my mind. Add another adult, a dog, and a baby and it's just going to be worse. While I appreciate the free place to stay (we can't afford a week down there ourselves), it's just too. much. The baby won't fit into "our" room and I am NOT leaving him/her in the living room, especially with a dog around! (speaking of dogs, they were going to buy us a dog when we moved into our new house. Without asking if we wanted one. I shot that down FAST.)

And now they're weirdly competitive with my parents - like miffed that my parents have been to our new house twice and they haven't been up here yet. Never mind it was six months after we moved that my parents got a chance to come up and the second time they came up was to haul up most of the gifts from my baby shower because there wasn't enough room in my car!

[SWTXBelle]

Son-in-law is a an ungrateful jerk.