University of Mississippi - Ole Miss Panhellenic Sorority Recruitment 2013

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Heartoheart: Back to your recent question, "Can partying help or harm a girl's chances in recruitment", I think the possible negative outcomes far outweigh the inroads the PNM might perceive she is gaining. Rather than thinking that the PNM is their equal, and nudging each other in the ribs saying, "Wow, that girl can sure hold her liquor" in an admiring tone, any of the sorority members who have half sense and care about their chapter might look at PNM partygirl and think "Risk-management problem" and drop her at the first opportunity.

I would advise my daughter to lay low prior to recruitment, don't do anything that is breaking the law (and underage drinking falls into that category), and wait until after bid day to go to fraternity parties, but I am an overly cautious advisor.

I totally agree with you on your advice. We are always looking at social media and reputations trying to avoid women we think might be risk management issues. I think some schools deal with this a lot more then other schools.

[carnation]

I bumped the MollyUF thread as a cautionary tale to PNMs. If you remember what happened to Molly, you know that it takes very little to get cut because of a misperception.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...25#post2225325

[MaryPoppins]

Key part of that thread that Carnation posted from the University of Florida:

Originally Posted by MollyUF

Hey Everyone!

I don't know how many people that followed my recruitment story on Greek Chat are still hanging around, but I have an interesting update that I thought some people might want to hear.

If you read what happened to me, the whole thing that transpired with Chi Omega was pretty terrible, upsetting and unexpected. Well, I found out DEFINITIVELY why I was cut this past week. One of my close girlfriends is a Chi Omega and she told me. This is straight from the horse's mouth.

At the beginning of last spring semester (we are talking january 2001), some of my close guy friends rushed Delta Tau Delta. As a prank their pledge class kidnapped their pledge educator/chair or whatever, and organized a scavenger hunt for the older brothers to find him. The last clue was a video they had to pick up at Hooters. They needed some girls to be in the video, so as a favor a few girls, including myself did it. There was NOTHING gratuitous about the video AT ALL. We were wearing T=Shirts that said hooters on them, that was about it.

Anyways, the whole night was just funny and I got to meet a bunch of great Delts. The next night I was at a bar and ran into a lot of them, including the Pledge Educator. He was there with his girlfriend and I introduced myself to her, just being friendly. She was a total ice queen, real bitchy and rude. I figured it was about the Hooters thing but I really didn't think twice about it.

Fast forward to August recruitment, practically 7 months later. I had my great experience at Chi Omega, it was a sure thing. Then I was dropped. Do you remember how I was taken to be introduced to the pledge educator? Well, it was that same Ice Queen bitch that was irritated about the Hooters thing. She told my friend last week, and I QUOTE:

"That's the great thing about recruitment, you can drop girls for no reason. That's what she gets for waving her boobs in my boyfriends face."

I didn't even recognize her when I met her during recruitment. Apparently I got a sky high rating, but since she was Rush Chair she gave me the ax anyway. What a crappy, insecure person...

Well, that's the long and the short of it. I am really disappointed that things worked out that way, because even now I can say that Chi Omega would have been a much better house for me than KKG, but I do love my sorority a lot, and I'll just have to make the best of it. How random though!

Hope everyone is doing well...

Molly

[OleMissAnchor]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Heartoheart: Back to your recent question, "Can partying help or harm a girl's chances in recruitment", I think the possible negative outcomes far outweigh the inroads the PNM might perceive she is gaining. Rather than thinking that the PNM is their equal, and nudging each other in the ribs saying, "Wow, that girl can sure hold her liquor" in an admiring tone, any of the sorority members who have half sense and care about their chapter might look at PNM partygirl and think "Risk-management problem" and drop her at the first opportunity.

I would advise my daughter to lay low prior to recruitment, don't do anything that is breaking the law (and underage drinking falls into that category), and wait until after bid day to go to fraternity parties, but I am an overly cautious advisor.

I think this is a case where what we want to say as alumnae, versus what some of us would have said as collegians, will differ significantly. I wish PNMs could totally avoid alcohol and frat parties until they were of age. But unfortunately the way Ole Miss's social structure is set up, the PNM who stays away completely will be locked out of many chances to meet sorority women.

Underage drinking is illegal, and I won't condone it. I didn't drink until I was 21, and I survived. Some PNMs will choose to drink. It may hurt their "reputation," or may not. I would advise any PNMs to be social, but avoid drinking. That means attending some parties, but refraining from the alcohol. The frat party/bar scene is such a big part of the pre-recruitment circuit that if you're not out sometimes, then you're missing chances to meet sorority women. Avoid weeknights (gotta keep those grades up), and study hard so your grades don't suffer during recruitment. Make sure to go out to at least one party on Friday and Saturday, even if you don't stick around long. See and be seen--no need to drink. Focus on the other girls there, not guys . Avoid drinking because (1) it's illegal and (2) no one likes a sloppy PNM.

Better places to meet sorority women include the Honors College (if you're a part of it, look for 200-level classes that have some sophomores!), Associate Student Body (Ole Miss's student gov't.), and the clubs that recruit in the fall. As a bonus, being involved in these activities will look good come recruitment time!

Unfortunately the daughter's experience is not unusual. I also started being rushed as a high school senior and went to some of the Spring events like Derby Days--I assume these are some of the parties her daughter attended. They're a big part of the pre-recruitment meet-and-greet for sorority women if you are invited. I don't love that they're the nexus of Spring socializing for PNMs and sororities--I wish there was something like Theta Encore or a Greek Sing that PNMs could attend, instead of field parties--but it isn't unusual. But the centrality of alcohol in Greek life at Ole Miss is a whole 'nother discussion entirely!

[FSUZeta]

Oh my! And the Greek Life office condones this?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

There's an awful lot of pearl-clutching in this thread. I agree that PNMs should make fools of themselves, but if alcohol is a normal part of the social life at a university (as it obviously is/was at mine), it's really ridiculous to act like a young woman is of poor character for having a beer or two.

[Titchou]

DBB - I think you need to read over your post and edit

[FSUZeta]

Bless your heart, my pearl clutching is not directed at underage drinking, rather at the university not minding that underage students are attending parties on campus before they have even matriculated-looking at it from a risk management standpoint, both for the sponsoring groups as well as the university.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I agree that PNMs should make fools of themselves.

Ooo! I don't!

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Bless your heart, my pearl clutching is not directed at underage drinking, rather at the university not minding that underage students are attending parties on campus before they have even matriculated-looking at it from a risk management standpoint, both for the sponsoring groups as well as the university.

Really? How do you think Alabama, Auburn, Florida, etc, etc fraternities get all their pledges? I know lots of young men who had a bid to a fraternity before they were accepted at the college. Happens all the time at Bama and Auburn and Florida. I don't think they're giving them out in Sunday School class.....

[FSUZeta]

I am well aware how fraternities give out bids during the summer. It doesn't reduce the potential risk management problems that the combination of alcohol, rivers and inner tubes can provide.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Bless your heart, my pearl clutching is not directed at underage drinking, rather at the university not minding that underage students are attending parties on campus before they have even matriculated-looking at it from a risk management standpoint, both for the sponsoring groups as well as the university.

Indeed - I can clutch my pearls if I want. We have enough problems with restrictions on students at parties that we planned a month in advance with hired security and kept to a strict guest list. I can't believe you would encourage a 17 year old to go by herself to a party with strangers and that if there is drinking, she should go ahead to fit in.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Really? How do you think Alabama, Auburn, Florida, etc, etc fraternities get all their pledges? I know lots of young men who had a bid to a fraternity before they were accepted at the college. Happens all the time at Bama and Auburn and Florida. I don't think they're giving them out in Sunday School class.....

Pretty sure how boys rush is not relevant to how a lady should behave

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by HQWest

Pretty sure how boys rush is not relevant to how a lady should behave

I was referring the to previous post that decried allowing students who were not enrolled yet to attend parties. I'm NOT saying the drinking underage is OK!

[Old_Row]

My biggest worry was that she was being sent on a trip very far from home to meet with strangers to go drinking and that it was arranged by alumnae. That seemed very very risky to me.

Here is something else that no one has mentioned which I think is important that has nothing to do with the drinking and not drinking problem. When no one knows you and you go to parties with a group of XYZ members as their guests for the weekend and even if you also are going to some other parties with the ABC members or whatnot, people are going to associate you with those sororities. That can limit your options very fast sorry to say so you better be sure you like those sororities a lot and hope they like you and want to bid you.