returning pnm

[carolinepnm]

I decided to go through formal recruitment at my university my freshman year. My school uses a computer based system and pretty much the computer has been known to withdraw girls at random. This happened to me. I was so nervous to rush but became so excited to find my home. I went through sisterhood night and I became withdrawn the morning of Philanthropy night. This experience completely changed how I envisioned how my college experience would go and honestly I felt as if no sorority wanted me. I had great connections with all the girls I met. This experience completely crushed me. I am going into my sophomore year and decided to go through recruitment again. Should I ask for letters of recommendations? What can I do to really stand out and get a bid from any house? Do you think rushing last year will somehow impact me deciding to rush again this year? I want to be apart of a sorority and I don't want anything on my part to be the reason no house will want to select me.

[carnation]

Withdraw people at random? They can't do that.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by carolinepnm

hello! I decided to rush at my school (unr), as a freshman. My school uses a computer based system and pretty much the computer has been known to withdraw girls at random. this happened to me. I was so nervous to rush but became so excited. This experience completely changed how I envisioned how my college experience would go and honestly I feel as if no sorority wanted me. I had great connections with all the girls I met. I am going into my sophomore year and decided to go through recruitment again. Should i ask for letters of recommendations? also what can I do to really stand out and get a bid from any house? I want to be apart of sorority and i don't want anything on my part be the reason no house will accept me.

So is it the computer's fault, or did the sororities not want you?

Stop blaming this on everyone and everything else. You didn't get a bid. It sucks. You don't know why. Put the past behind you and look toward this upcoming recruitment.

Work on your conversation skills. Even if you feel like you connected with the sorority members, practice! Get your outfits in order. And do your research. Find out if recs are required or strongly encouraged at your school. And if they are, start tracking them down.. fast. Check out this thread first: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=112718

Also, as an FYI: it's "a part" of a sorority. If you wanted to be "apart", then you'd want to be separated from them.

[FSUZeta]

Caroline, you SHOULD try again, but analyze last years experience. Did you have recommendations to all the chapters on your campus? Find recs to all the sororities on your campus for this rush.

How did your grades and activities compare without other PNMs last year? How about this year? You can't rest on your HS laurels now.

How did your conversations go? How could you improve convos this year?

Unfortunately the computer randomly dropping people is a fallacy perpetuated year after year. It's just not true-think about it. The sororities want lots of members. It makes them financially stable. Simply put: more members, more money. Dropping random girls who could pay dues doesn't make sense and the computer DOES NOT randomly spit out girls names who are then dropped by all groups. Dropping girls who don't meet GPA requirements, rude girls, girls with questionable reputations, girls who did not get involved in organizations or charitable causes in HS does make sense.

Something that sometimes happens to some PNMs hinges on the groups they aim for. If the PNM lists the "top" chapters as 1's and the chapters she is actually better suited for and has a chance to receive a bid from are the ones she ranks, she might end up shooting herself in the foot. Each round she is narrowing her realistic choices and eventually the chapters she is reaching for are going to drop her as they have less invitations to offer. It's a strategic game.

It's like setting your sights on Harvard when you have a C average, one club membership for only one year and a few hours charity work. You also applied to several regional state schools and have been accepted to all of them, but you turn down your acceptances there in the hope that by some miracle you can get into Harvard. If you are true to yourself, you will realize that the odds are not in your favor as far as Harvard is concerned, but you can have a good experience at State U, get your degree, a job, and get on with your life. Smart PNMs understand that they all can't go to Harvard, but they can get a degree from a different college, have a wonderful experience, and a full life. Be truthful with yourself.

[AZTheta]

I don't want to QFP FSUZeta's entire post - but I want to say this to carolinepnm: please study her words carefully. She has hit all the major points and done so in a very positive, loving, yet truthful way.

Insight into your own behavior is a huge benchmark of being an adult. It comes easily to some. Others, not so much. Still others, never. What FSUZeta gave you is a gift. Please use it wisely.

And I am rooting for you. Do the hard work now, prepare the best you can, and I sincerely hope that you will find what we have all found: a lifetime of panhellenic friendships. We are more alike than different. The majority of my close friends are sorority alumnae (NPC and NPHC, mostly). We share a common experience and a bond. I want that for you, too.

[carolinepnm]

Thank you for your advice. I understand what you are saying, and will keep an open mind and work on my conversation skills.

[AnchorAlumna]

Well, last year at the University of Alabama, there was a computer glitch that threw out all the upperclassmen. That was resolved, though, even delaying the start time for parties so they could fix the issues.
Caroline, make sure your grades are up to snuff. Generally that's the number 1 reasons PNMs are released.
YES absolutely, get recommendations. And work on conversation skills. Don't be a fake version of yourself, but do be sincere, relaxed, and interested in what your hostess is saying.
You've been through this once, so that's to your advantage - you will have some experience and can relax a bit.
And consider COB if things don't work out for formal recruitment. Sometimes COB is more relaxed and a better way to get to know people. Some PNMs shine for COB but fizzle at formal.
Good luck!

[sissyintexas]

Yes, this absolutely happened at Alabama last year. My friend was driving home from Tuscaloosa with her devastated sophomore daughter when they got a call that she had been mistakenly removed from the lists.

She ended up getting a bid too.