Lavalier?

[LucyKKG]

I'm a member of the newest chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma, and my boyfriend is a member of Theta Chi here. Our school has a very small Greek system and doesn't have a lot of the same traditions as other schools. I've read about girls being lavaliered (I can make that a verb, right?), and I think it's soooo amazing. However, I know that's nothing he would think to do, because it just isn't done out here in hippy-ville.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

[33girl]

LOL hippy-ville.

This is really something that needs to come from the fraternity, rather than the girlfriend. But you could maybe mention it to him (if you're not afraid of him going OMG COMMITMENT) and ask him to see what his brothers think.

[alphalove13]

At my school Lavaliering someone isnt taken lightly its the step before engagement. My boyfriend lavaliered me a year into his fraternity, there was only 1 other lavaliered girlfriend of the time. We also had been dating for 4 years- a year after that he proposed at his formal (something everyone else knew and I didnt- but I know I wasnt suppose to know)

In his chapter its meant for girls that you are going to marry. If you end up breaking up with the girl you swallow your lavalier. So the boys make sure not to lavalier just anyone They also get thrown into a lake for taking the plunge

Each fraternity on campus has their own thing for lavaliering someone though.

We do a candle lighting in my sorority for being lavaliered.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by alphalove13

If you end up breaking up with the girl you swallow your lavalier.

That doesn't sound safe.

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by alphalove13

At my school Lavaliering someone isnt taken lightly its the step before engagement. My boyfriend lavaliered me a year into his fraternity, there was only 1 other lavaliered girlfriend of the time. We also had been dating for 4 years- a year after that he proposed at his formal (something everyone else knew and I didnt- but I know I wasnt suppose to know)

In his chapter its meant for girls that you are going to marry. If you end up breaking up with the girl you swallow your lavalier. So the boys make sure not to lavalier just anyone They also get thrown into a lake for taking the plunge

Each fraternity on campus has their own thing for lavaliering someone though.

We do a candle lighting in my sorority for being lavaliered.

haha same here still waiting on mine...

[dukedg]

At Duke we had three levels, from least to most serious:

1st - Lavalier - this meant you were dating exclusively. You wear the fraternity's letters, so the guy gets some minor "punishment" from his brothers
2nd - Pin - this is the more serious step before engagement. You actually wear his pin, so the guy gets in much more trouble with his brothers
3rd - engagement

These also corresponded to our candle pass. If you blew out the candle on the first time around, it meant you were lavaliered (not sure if that is actually a word), second time meant you were pinned and third time meant engaged!

I've never heard of swallowing your lavalier if it doesn't work out. I don't think that would logically work out at Duke, since in theory you should also swallow his pin and the engagement ring.

[aephi alum]

I've never heard of swallowing the lavaliere. Sounds like that could do some damage to your GI tract. :/

Lavaliering is not done lightly. At my school, it meant that both partners considered the relationship to be serious, possibly (but not necessarily) leading to marriage. Pinning was even more serious; it was a precursor to engagement.

Sororities usually do candle passes for each step - lavaliering, pinning, engagement, marriage, pregnancy. (When I had my candle pass for my engagement, my sisters somehow got confused into thinking I was pregnant. Nearly 11 years later and still no baby... LOL)

You might talk to your BF, or talk to a mutual friend so that he learns of the idea of lavaliering. If this isn't a tradition at your school, maybe it's time to introduce it.

[LucyKKG]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

You might talk to your BF, or talk to a mutual friend so that he learns of the idea of lavaliering. If this isn't a tradition at your school, maybe it's time to introduce it.

Yeah, there are a lot of traditions to be set because we're a new chapter and we have such a small Greek system.
La dee da...I dunno how/if it'll happen! Oh well, I still found a great guy!

[LucyKKG]

So, I brought up the subject! He didn't know what a lavaliere was, and after I explained what it was, he quickly changed the subject. Mind you, I only said what it was (physically) and not it's usage/importance in some schools. Alas!

[DeltAlum]

Originally Posted by dukedg

1st - Lavalier - this meant you were dating exclusively. You wear the fraternity's letters, so the guy gets some minor "punishment" from his brothers
2nd - Pin - this is the more serious step before engagement. You actually wear his pin, so the guy gets in much more trouble with his brothers
3rd - engagement

That's the "traditional" method. Although there was no real "trouble" within the Fraternity when I was in school. Some good natured ribbing, but for the most part we were proud to have pinmates. It looked good for us to the rest of the campus.

I'm under the impression that neither lavaliering or pinning is done in many (perhaps a majority) of places currently.

Traditions do die sometimes.

[EtaEpsilove]

Lavaliering and pinning is completely alive and well at Miami!

Ours works the same way, lavaliering first, then pinning, then engagement. During my time there, we had at least five lavelierings, two pinnings and about six or seven engagements.

Too bad I was single, because I always wanted a candlelight! I definitely think at certain schools, this fabulous tradition is alive and well! Once I meet that certain guy, I may just have to come back to have a candlelight. =)

[ThetaPrincess24]

Lavaliers, promise rings, and engagements were popular at my school. While my dad did give his sigma chi pin to my mother which she had made into a ring (he couldnt afford to buy her an engagement ring at the time), I never heard of a story of a fraternity member giving their pin to a girlfriend at my school.

[EZDZ412]

Originally Posted by dukedg

At Duke we had three levels, from least to most serious:

1st - Lavalier - this meant you were dating exclusively. You wear the fraternity's letters, so the guy gets some minor "punishment" from his brothers
2nd - Pin - this is the more serious step before engagement. You actually wear his pin, so the guy gets in much more trouble with his brothers
3rd - engagement

we don't do lavaliering at our school (i wish we did) BUT we did do the candle pass ONCE when someone was pregnant (fourth time around the circle)

[Corsulian]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

That doesn't sound safe.

Neither does marriage.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Corsulian

Neither does marriage.

Non-sequitur much?