GreekChat.com Forums  

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > General Chat Topics > Dating & Relationships


Register Now for FREE!
Join GreekChat.com, The Fraternity & Sorority Greek Chat Network. To sign up for your FREE account INSTANTLY fill out the form below!

Username: Password: Confirm Password: E-Mail: Confirm E-Mail:
 
Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.

  I agree to forum rules 

» GC Stats
Members: 325,124
Threads: 115,503
Posts: 2,196,042
Welcome to our newest member, znathanhulzeo24
» Online Users: 1,318
5 members and 1,313 guests
John, MethrenLusia, Sarak24034, UofISigKap
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-16-2003, 11:50 PM
absolutuscchick absolutuscchick is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: In the Arizona Sun!!!
Posts: 1,548
Send a message via AIM to absolutuscchick
Toxic Relationship with Parents??

Ok, I think that the relationship I have with my parents is definitely toxic. If we're together for more than a meal, they start criticizing what i wear, telling me I'm always dressing innapropriately, and generally hounding me about something or another. Consequently, I can hardly spend time with them. Does anyone else have this problem??

edited because: my grammar is atrocious!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-17-2003, 12:07 AM
MeLikey MeLikey is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,682
No, actually I'm really close with my parents... always have been. They sometimes do little things that annoy me, but then again, they're little things. They're laid back about a lot of things... but also know when to be strict during times that are understandable. They've always been really supportive in everything I've done. Now I'm at a point in my life where I realize they're not going to be around forever, so I need to cherish the time I spend with them.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-17-2003, 02:00 AM
absolutuscchick absolutuscchick is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: In the Arizona Sun!!!
Posts: 1,548
Send a message via AIM to absolutuscchick
Yea...my parents do do alot of great things for me, but my mom especially always picks on me. I don't know if we'll ever get along well! But me and my dad get along pretty well....they just sometimes don't realize how toxic they are acting!!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-17-2003, 03:57 AM
sugar and spice sugar and spice is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 4,571
It comes and goes. There was a while where I could only get along with them if we were living in different states. Fortunately now things are starting to get better.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-17-2003, 04:29 AM
Jill1228 Jill1228 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: NJ/Philly suburbs
Posts: 7,172
Send a message via AIM to Jill1228
Toxic? Uhhhh toxic is an understatement and I have therapy bills to prove it!

Edited to add: My family is so dysfunctional that it ain't funny! I am SO glad that I live 3000 miles away from my mother (she is in Southern Virginia). I keep her at arms length (or further). My parents are divorced (been divorced wince I was 7) and I now have no contact with my ex-father who lives in Philadelphia. After he dissed me and didn't come to my wedding that was the {b]LAST[/b] straw (of many straws)
__________________
"OP, you have 99 problems, but a sorority ain't one"-Alumiyum

Last edited by Jill1228; 12-17-2003 at 12:57 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-17-2003, 09:05 AM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Crescent City
Posts: 10,014
My parents could be pretty toxic... sounds like yours are worse, though. Basically, my parents had a hard time accepting that I was an adult and that I had the right to make my own decisions about my life and that those decisions wouldn't necessarily agree with my father's Grand Plan. Our relationship got better when that sank in, but I was about 25 and married for a couple years before that happened...

Just remember that you're an adult and you have the right to make your own decisions.
__________________
AEΦ ... Multa Corda, Una Causa ... Celebrating Over 100 Years of Sisterhood
Have no place I can be since I found Serenity, but you can't take the sky from me...
Only those who risk going too far, find out how far they can go.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-18-2003, 09:01 AM
Eirene_DGP Eirene_DGP is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 604
Quote:
Originally posted by aephi alum
My parents could be pretty toxic... sounds like yours are worse, though. Basically, my parents had a hard time accepting that I was an adult and that I had the right to make my own decisions about my life and that those decisions wouldn't necessarily agree with my father's Grand Plan. Our relationship got better when that sank in, but I was about 25 and married for a couple years before that happened...

Just remember that you're an adult and you have the right to make your own decisions.
Yeah I am going through that now and my parents have a hard time believing I am entitled to my own opinion and there are more views on the world than their own. Just to give you a hint..they still hold a lot of views of the *deep south* which I don't particularly care for.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-18-2003, 10:11 AM
PhiPsiRuss PhiPsiRuss is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Listening to a Mariachi band on the N train
Posts: 5,707
Send a message via ICQ to PhiPsiRuss Send a message via AIM to PhiPsiRuss Send a message via Yahoo to PhiPsiRuss
Quote:
Originally posted by absolutuscchick
Yea...my parents do do alot of great things for me, but my mom especially always picks on me. I don't know if we'll ever get along well! But me and my dad get along pretty well....they just sometimes don't realize how toxic they are acting!!
Have you told them how you feel?
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-18-2003, 12:30 PM
absolutuscchick absolutuscchick is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: In the Arizona Sun!!!
Posts: 1,548
Send a message via AIM to absolutuscchick
of course I have!!!

it's ok though...I see them in therapy once a week to work out any problems...
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-18-2003, 12:50 PM
AchtungBaby80 AchtungBaby80 is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Lexington, KY, USA
Posts: 3,185
Send a message via ICQ to AchtungBaby80 Send a message via AIM to AchtungBaby80 Send a message via Yahoo to AchtungBaby80
absolutuscchick, I can definitely relate...my mom is awesome but I've always had trouble with my stepdad. He sounds a lot like your parents, actually--very critical, very controlling. He's that way with everyone else in the family and we are all constantly walking on eggshells so that we won't inadvertently say something and make him explode, but with me there's the added bonus that he doesn't like the fact that I still have a relationship with my father. Did I mention he loves holding grudges?? It's really sad because he can be the absolute nicest person you would ever meet and he has done a lot for me (financially and opportunities-wise), but the other side of his personality is equally atrocious. I can't really give you any advice because I haven't figured out how to fix this either.

However, one of the psychologists I used to see recommended a book called "Toxic Parents"...I never read it, but she thought very highly of it. I don't know who the author is, but you could probably do a search and find it easily enough if you're interested.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-18-2003, 05:32 PM
decadence decadence is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,474
Quote:
Oriignally posted by AchtungBaby80:
... However, one of the psychologists I used to see recommended a book called "Toxic Parents"...I never read it, but she thought very highly of it. I don't know who the author is, but you could probably do a search and find it easily enough if you're interested.
I believe it might have been Dr. Lillian Glass?
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-18-2003, 06:21 PM
Peaches-n-Cream Peaches-n-Cream is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: New York City
Posts: 10,829
Send a message via AIM to Peaches-n-Cream
I find that if I don't take criticism personally, it doesn't hurt me. I also know that sometimes it is easier to go along with what parents want in order to get along with them. I am not saving compromise yourself. If you know it drives your parents crazy when you wear something, don't wear it when you are going to see them. If they prefer you in more conservative clothes, dress conservatively. Don't give them any ammunition. It won't solve all of your problems, but it might help. Good Luck!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-20-2003, 12:37 PM
Jill1228 Jill1228 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: NJ/Philly suburbs
Posts: 7,172
Send a message via AIM to Jill1228
The author is Dr. Susan Forward. I have the book and it is good!

Quote:
Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
absolutuscchickHowever, one of the psychologists I used to see recommended a book called "Toxic Parents"...I never read it, but she thought very highly of it. I don't know who the author is, but you could probably do a search and find it easily enough if you're interested.
__________________
"OP, you have 99 problems, but a sorority ain't one"-Alumiyum
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-20-2003, 12:49 PM
Dionysus Dionysus is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Trying to stay away form that APOrgy! :eek:
Posts: 8,071
Quote:
Originally posted by decadence
I believe it might have been Dr. Lillian Glass?
Her book is "Toxic PEOPLE", which does touch toxic relationships with parents. The book is good in identifying toxic relationships, but not so good in showing how to deal with them...IMO.
__________________
GreekChat.com - The Fraternity & Sorority Greek Chat Network

^^^

Can't you tell I'm a procrastinator?
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-20-2003, 01:33 PM
James James is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
Posts: 8,594
Send a message via ICQ to James Send a message via AIM to James
They are toxic. . . get rid of them. whats so hard to understand? When someone causes you grief . . . you disasociate.

Quote:
Originally posted by Dionysus
Her book is "Toxic PEOPLE", which does touch toxic relationships with parents. The book is good in identifying toxic relationships, but not so good in showing how to deal with them...IMO.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:19 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.