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  #1  
Old 10-26-2013, 07:07 AM
Jayzzz Jayzzz is offline
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Not sure if I should start looking at other houses or not

I have sort of a unique situation here...so bear with me, it's probably gonna be long. I'd appreciate any advice.

I'm a sophomore. I pledged during Fall '12, however when it came time for initiation I did not make the GPA cut (2.5) by a large margin (<1.5). First semester got the best of me, and my pledge class overall had a pretty rough pledgeship, they ended up lowering the standard to 2.3 for initiation since so many of us did poorly.

Myself and 5 other of my pledge brothers returned for the spring semester as neophytes, basically doing the duties of pledges until the spring pledge class was pinned, and the occasional chore after that..really only when we got in trouble. We still had to make GPA. They set the bar for us at 2.75 since we did poorly 1st semester. I was on track to make a solid GPA of around a 3.0-3.1, however I was in a 5 credit course with two exams - midterm and final, and absolutely tanked the final. My final GPA was a 2.5. I was not initiated due to not making a 2.75, even though our bylaws state the bar is at 2.5, and the 2.75 was really just what our E-Board wanted our GPAs to be. Our E-Board really didnt know what to do, because historically our neophytes either made grades or completely blew it. Chapter President liked me and wanted to initiate me, but our Membership Chair in charge of the new member program decided not to initiate me, largely because he doesn't like me. That was a fact, too. It caused a huge internal problem afterwards since there is an active vote for initiation and I made the vote for both semesters.

Anyway, I didn't get initiated and I'm still pretty pissed since a couple of my pledge brothers were initiated with 2.3s. I was a pretty popular guy I'd say, and I honestly can't think of a single thing I did to be disliked by our Chair, I never put the house in danger by being stupid or by being an asshole. My parents had also made a donations to renovate our front yard, and were in talks for donating for additional projects. I tried to be pretty involved.

They told me that I'm welcome to come over to the house and party whenever I want, and everyone has always been happy to see me. We have a number of guys who didnt get initiated that are still welcome. However, as the semester's gone on I've been going over less and less, and really losing touch with my pledge brothers except for the 2-3 I was closest with. My friends I hang out with daily are actives who were in the pledge class a year before mine. I pledged in a weird time in the houses history, they were transitioning from a small house to a large house. My pledge class alone was bigger than 60% of the active chapter, and since then there has been an additional 60 guys including this semesters pledge class. The majority of the guys I hang out with live out of house, and the house just feels so saturated with all the new bodies. Seniors and juniors are very uninvolved because the house and house policy is completely different from from there time. I've talked to some other guys who didn't get initiated, and while they're always welcome to the house too they said they feel the same way as I do about the state of the house and where they stand.

Anyway, I just don't have that brotherhood feel I used to have. Only a handful of actives told me that they view me as a brother.

I've been thinking about rushing another house either in the spring or next fall, however I'm still on the fence. I lived in the last house for a full year, so you could understand why I'd feel attached and unsure if I should move on.

I'm also unsure of how other houses would view my situation. I don't know any initiation rituals so there's no concern for my last house there. My cumulative GPA is low, but each semester shows steady improvement. I've also already had two high finance internships, one at a large asset management firm and the other in a front office position at an investment bank - so it's not like I don't have my shit together.

Any advice would be great
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  #2  
Old 10-26-2013, 09:25 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Hmmmm... Unless your parents have a position guaranteed for you when you finish your degree, your GPA should be your first priority. Unless you have major connections, GPA does count when applying for jobs, even with successful internships.

I imagine that the other fraternities have GPA requirements, too, so I don't know that your success in getting a bid and going through initiation would be any better, but you never know. Some might be able to make an exception. I take it your parents are supportive of you pursuing fraternity membership despite your grades?
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  #3  
Old 10-26-2013, 10:51 AM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Originally Posted by Jayzzz View Post
Anyway, I just don't have that brotherhood feel I used to have. Only a handful of actives told me that they view me as a brother.
Because you're not a brother. Sorry to be blunt, but that's the reality.

Forget these guys and focus on getting your grades up. Then, if you want to try again, try elsewhere.
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  #4  
Old 10-26-2013, 12:09 PM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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This is not a unique situation. You didn't make grades. Twice. Pull your grades up to over a 3.0 and then rush again.
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  #5  
Old 10-26-2013, 02:55 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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When I first clicked on this thread, I thought it was going to be about someone buying their first house...

Yes, I just posted to say how it's one of my pet peeves when someone constantly refers to a chapter as a "house"

And I've read/typed the word so much that it now looks and sounds weird to me...
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Last edited by ASTalumna06; 10-26-2013 at 02:58 PM.
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  #6  
Old 10-26-2013, 03:10 PM
Psi U MC Vito Psi U MC Vito is offline
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Dude, they just don't want you. I would accept that and move on.
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  #7  
Old 10-26-2013, 04:35 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Excuses are like buttholes, everyone has one. You, on the other hand seem to have enough to drown all of Manhattan in poo.
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  #8  
Old 10-26-2013, 05:28 PM
DTD Alum DTD Alum is offline
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There are some points here that I find really confusing ("living in the house for the past year" despite not being an active, multiple semesters of pledgeship before initiation), but maybe it's a different campus culture or something.

Regardless, it's not about grades. You have proved this yourself, by showing that guys with a 2.3 got initiated. I'm not sure this house is a fit for you, and I think they may have shown you that.
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  #9  
Old 10-26-2013, 09:03 PM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Originally Posted by DTD Alum View Post
There are some points here that I find really confusing ("living in the house for the past year" despite not being an active, multiple semesters of pledgeship before initiation), but maybe it's a different campus culture or something.
I was confused by the term "neophyte," too. I've only heard that term in an NPHC context.
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  #10  
Old 10-26-2013, 10:32 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by MysticCat View Post
I was confused by the term "neophyte," too. I've only heard that term in an NPHC context.
Some groups still use it to mean "completed pledging but not yet initiated." If they have to make grades before being officially initiated, it would make sense.

And if any parent tried to make a donation before their son/daughter was initiated, I think I'd want that particular pledge gone as soon as possible. It's inappropriate unless the parent has an additional tie to the GLO. Cookies yes, renovating the yard of what I'm assuming is a very large mansion EFF NO. It just smacks of trying to buy your way in.
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  #11  
Old 10-27-2013, 09:50 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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I think bringing your grades up to a 3.0 will be a good thing. Re-take as many classes as you can to replace the low grades. Use your on campus study center, student or academic success center, find tutors, or whatever you need to pull up those grades. Good luck.
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  #12  
Old 10-27-2013, 10:07 AM
Sciencewoman Sciencewoman is offline
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I don't like the vibe this chapter is sending you, and some of the others who apparently weren't initiated. I can see why they would want to raise GPA standards, but it seems like they're indiscriminately changing/applying the new standard when they decide who will get initiated...almost like you're having to go through rush again. Regardless, the message has been sent that they're not willing to make an exception for you.

I don't see anything wrong with parents making housing donations during the pledging period...you were already given a bid. The chapter I advise is building a new house right now, and trust me, we're happy to get donations from new members' parents as well as initiated members' parents.

I would work hard to raise your GPA and look elsewhere for membership. Do you know guys in other fraternities?
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  #13  
Old 10-27-2013, 09:18 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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I agree, but if he's their only/first son to join a fraternity, they may not have understood the risk of jumping the gun. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that they just have lots of money and saw a need, not that they were trying to buy any favors.

OP, give it a shot. Why not? Just remember that you are in college first and foremost for your education. I'm not a huge believer in getting AWESOME grades just for the sake of it (2 minutes after you've graduated, nobody cares in most of the time), but you should be learning enough in your classes that you do at least reasonably well. One benefit of going after this with a little more maturity under your belt is you will understand better how to balance work and play.
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  #14  
Old 10-28-2013, 03:34 AM
Jayzzz Jayzzz is offline
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Originally Posted by DubaiSis View Post
I agree, but if he's their only/first son to join a fraternity, they may not have understood the risk of jumping the gun. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that they just have lots of money and saw a need, not that they were trying to buy any favors.

OP, give it a shot. Why not? Just remember that you are in college first and foremost for your education. I'm not a huge believer in getting AWESOME grades just for the sake of it (2 minutes after you've graduated, nobody cares in most of the time), but you should be learning enough in your classes that you do at least reasonably well. One benefit of going after this with a little more maturity under your belt is you will understand better how to balance work and play.
Right, I know GPA is important, and I've already had two paid internships in the field I want to work in (and in my field, experience > GPA everyday of the week). Everything considered I feel pretty rounded right now.

A few people have seemed confused with how I was describing how my last house operated with GPA and initiation and what not. To sum it up in a word - clusterfuck.

To get initiated NMs need three things - > 60% "yes" in the active chapter vote for each individual, > 95% on the fraternity history exam, and a GPA of 2.5 or higher. 2.5 is the cutoff as it reads in the chapters bylaws.

In my case, myself and a handful of others had the first two requirements, but had below 2.5s. One of my pledge brothers was a rep for a well known fraternity website and he had a 2.3 so they initiated him so they could keep him because of that, so in doing that everyone who had between a 2.3-2.5 was initiated anyway.

So myself and the others were neophytes for the next semester. They told us we needed a 2.75 to be initiated this time, but there is no clause in the bylaws about that, just the 2.5 cutoff. I don't even think our bylaws has a specific clause for neophytes, or if it does it's vague.

So come initiation round two I again made the first two requirements, and had a 2.5 GPA. So, the members of our executive board voted on me, and they voted yes to initiate me. Our chapter president told me that I was going to be initiated, and then 5 minutes later our VP of membership came and told me that he changed his mind and I wasn't going to be initiated, "just doing his job". There was also a separate incident where the active chapter voted not to initiate one of my pledge brothers, but he was initiated anyway because our pledge trainer forgot to tell him.

The leadership in that house is a mess, backwards, and its a shame, really, because the house is on the rise since they've been recruiting like crazy. Current 1st semester pledge class is bigger than the Junior + Senior, and half of the sophomore classes combined.

Thanks for the advice everyone, I appreciate it.
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  #15  
Old 10-28-2013, 09:18 AM
pinksequins pinksequins is offline
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OP -- On the matter of grades, MysticCat makes a very good point which is as valid for exams as it is for postings: Identify your main point quickly and clearly. For example, your principal point might be: "I am considering depledging a fraternity chapter for several reasons and rerushing other houses next semester. How does depledging (not for RFM reasons) affect one's opportunities during recruitment?" You can then embellish the backstory a bit with salient facts (not TMI). The takeaway is to state your principal point clearly first. Then add secondary and tertiary points. This approach may help you with some of your exams.

As to your specific question, do expect similar responses to those above: There are too many variables (campus culture, specific personal facts, etc) to enable a response other than "Give it a try."

Lastly, kudos for the internship. Depending on your major, your GPA may or may not matter 10 minutes after you graduate. I have had transcripts requested (for GPA purposes, not just validation of resume credentials) 10 YEARS later. It's not terribly informative in my view, but just be aware there are those employers who "care".

Last edited by pinksequins; 10-28-2013 at 09:19 AM. Reason: bad typing
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