Sorority Questions

I'm going to be going through rush this fall, and I have some questions that I could use some help with. I was talking to this one girl who used to be in a sorority, and she was telling me how you can't miss any meetings ever. I thought that the sisters would be more understanding though(like sometimes you have to work and can't get your schedule changed.) If i joined a sorority it would be one of my top priorities(next to school)but the same girl also told me that the sorority should come first. I don't understand how that could work if you have a job(the purpose of which is to pay for the sorority)and the sisters get mad when you have to miss a meeting just so you could get money to be in a sorority. Is this true?

[12dn94dst]

It's all about priorities. Being in a sorority takes a lot of time, not only with regular chapter meetings but also with meetings for any committees you join. It's hard enough being in college. Add a sorority OR a job and it's a little harder. A BAD woman is one who can take on all three, especially in her freshamn year.

I wouldn't say any sorority should come "first" per se, after all, you're in college to get an education. BUT, in a way, I see her point. You know the sorority has meeting before you joined and you should know you're expected to participate. Attending the pledge meetings are VERY IMPORTANT, these were probably the meetings she was referring to. Once you join, you KNOW when the meetings are and if you want to be involved, to get you money's worth as it were, it would behoove you to attend the meetings.


In all honesty, you could have planned for this a little better. It sounds like you just started working this summer. By working when you first had the inkling that you may want to join a sorority, you could have saved up for pledge fees and miscellaneous expenses so you wouldn't have to work so hard/often once you become a member.

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Kelli
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
12-Delta Nu-94
MAL, Southern Region
Savannah State University c/o 1997

[MooseGirl]

hi there,

I think it all depends on your school and the sorority.
personally, all but a fraction of our girls work and go to school at the same time. it is tough. But because we are aware of these situations we are more lenient...eg you only have to be at 2 meetings a month before getting fined...however other events...such as recruitment parties and initiation can be causes for discipline if you have not made an effort to change your work schedule...(i know it's hard....we have one girl that works til 6pm on fridays and goes back to work saturday morn....so we have initiation late friday to accomodate)

but it really depends on the group. ask them what their standards are and what penalties may be (sometimes instead of a fine it's just loss of going to a social event)


anyways, check everyone out first before you decide.

good luck!!

jen

[33girl]

It all depends what your job is...if you are in retail or food service, they should have enough other employees that they can schedule around you.

Once you accept your bid, you will probably be given a schedule for the semester. You can then tell your workplace that you are unavailable Monday nights or whatever. They should be accommadating to you if you give them that much advance notice.

If you are employed at a place with a very rigid schedule, I would question how feasible that is going to be with college period, let alone joining a sorority.

[Kymberleigh]

In my house, work is not an excuse to miss a meeting. Meetings only last about 1 to 1 1/2 hours per week, and it's at the same time Tuesdays at 5:40. (at my house) So, being unable to work one day and not even one whole day, but just during that time frame isn't a big imposition in a job.

However, there are reasons you can miss meetings. For instance, I had a school related internship at the same exact time every week for the whole spring semester last year. I missed meeting all semester, but I wasn't penalized. I had to read the minutes from the meeting afterwards, and then sign them, but didn't get fined or anything of the sort.

My house goes on the point system, so if you miss one meeting you can make those points up in other activities which are optional. You must have 85% of the points each month, and for the end of each semester. If you don't then you can't attend the dances. It really isn't that hard to maintain 85%, there are so many sisters in my house, including myself who have jobs, and are very involved. It's all about time management skills.

Kymberleigh
Delta Delta Delta

[ZChi4Life]

It all depends on that chapter like everyone has said.

As far as w/ interested women we want to give bids to: we find out what the schedules of the girls are like. So for the ones we do give bids to, we'll have an idea of what their schedule is like so we can make sure they are available for membership education activities. We have to do this cuz one thing they are required to do is to have a weekly business meeting. This meeting is extremely important and it is very, VERY detrimental for them to miss them. So like 12dn94dst said, maybe this is what that girl you spoke to was talking about.

As far as members missing meetings, we have set up policies regarding this. Depending on the situation, a sister could be fined if she misses a meeting and does not let anyone know before hand. But otherwise, we try to work w/ people's schedules as much as we can so everyone can attend.

[This message has been edited by ZChi4Life (edited August 16, 2000).]

[twinstars]

most sororities have their chapter meeting once a week, for about an hour. you have to do a little bit of service (my house requires only 4 hrs/semester), but you have tons of opportunities and you can do it at your own convenience. all social functions are optional, though most everyone goes since they're paying for it.

if you had to miss every single chapter meeting because of work, there's not much point in pledging. if you have to miss a few, that's not a huge deal. my sorority allows each sister 2 excused absences from chapter per semester.

just in general, if you have to miss all the functions and meetings, you're not a good member. if every sister did that, what would there be? not much of a sorority. what is the point of working so hard to pay for your dues, if you never have the time to attend even the required functions?

[sigmagrrl]

Attendance at sorority functions is my BIG pet peeve. I am completely unforgiving when it comes to sisters missing things that you've known about for weeks, months even!! I am especially a bitch when it comes to rush. You know when rush is MONTHS earlier and you can be there. I worked two jobs in college and managed to make it to everything! Its a matter of wanting to be there bad enough to sacrifice a little sleep or play time...This is not directed at anyone, just how I feel!

Sigmagrrl...

I have to disagree with you on that one. I work one job and cannot always make it to certain functions. I work anywhere from 25-30 hrs a week. How many hours did you work between two jobs?...it could not have been many. I'm not trying to come off rude, but it's hard to make all of the functions and work. I work at a department store and have to be there on the weekends, etc. I feel bad when I can't make it but when the women of my house are rude about it, it just makes me feel even worse. So, you shouldn't be so hard on some of the girls...we do have priorities and you might really be hurting someone's feelings by giving off attitude, dirty looks, or finin them left and right.

[sigmagrrl]

Originally posted by busy girl...:
Sigmagrrl...

I have to disagree with you on that one. I work one job and cannot always make it to certain functions. I work anywhere from 25-30 hrs a week. How many hours did you work between two jobs?...it could not have been many. I'm not trying to come off rude, but it's hard to make all of the functions and work. I work at a department store and have to be there on the weekends, etc. I feel bad when I can't make it but when the women of my house are rude about it, it just makes me feel even worse. So, you shouldn't be so hard on some of the girls...we do have priorities and you might really be hurting someone's feelings by giving off attitude, dirty looks, or finin them left and right.

The reason I feel the way I do is that I am a founding member of my chapter. We worked our arses off and NEEDED everyone to be there to make it work. This was not an optional activity to us at the time. I guess this is why I have this attitude. We needed to build up our sorority and we needed committed women with dedicated spirits. Not showing up was enough to get you a BIG talking to! So, I am sure that my feelings wouldn't have been as strong as they are if I belonged to a chapter that was 10 years or older, but I personally doubt it!

Hi Sigmagrrl...

I hear what you are saying. I just wanted to make my point b/c sometimes people can be unforgiving. Most of the women in my house are understanding about my schedule, but you can just feel the vibes from others...and that seriously makes me not want to do it anymore. I just keep telling myself to stick it out...just one more year to go...I think I will enjoy alumni status much better than active status. Take care...

[daisymargarita]

I'm a new member of my chapter... as in I haven't even been initiated yet. Rush was just last week! But the girls all seem to be really understanding if you have to miss something because of work or family. I had to miss my first chapter meeting because of work, only because I didn't know ahead of time (before I signed up to work that shift) that the chapter meetings are DURING that shift. They were cool about it, but I'm not going to sign up for that shift ever again. As far as other things go, so far they've been really understanding if anyone can't make it, as long as there's a good reason for it. I guess maybe it does depend on the chapter. This one's been around for 102 years, so I guess they can afford to be more lenient, unlike sigmagrrl's chapter. She's right, I think if a new organization is going to work it needs a lot of particiation from its members. In fact, even an older chapter would die out if everyone just stopped attending functions.