Possibly made a mistake?

[KSUconfused]

So I went through recruitment about a month ago at my university as a freshman. I was so ridiculously excited. Especially since my boyfriend of two years was involved in a fraternity, and pushed me to go greek from the beginning.
This is where the trouble came in. He was the chapter sweetheart for a sorority on campus before I went through recruitment. Now, like just about any girl in my situation, I was secretly hoping that I would end up in that sorority and we could share that experience together. Even though I kept telling myself I was going in with an open mind, it's pretty obvious looking back that I wasn't.
So Round 1 came.
After the first round (philanthropy), I had loved a couple in particular out of the 7, one of them being the one which my boyfriend was the sweetheart for. I was so excited to see which sororities I would be asked back to for Round 2, House tours.
Then Round 2.
I got my card with all of the houses I would be going to. I was not too happy about it. In fact, I was a little angry. My top house had dropped me, and I actually had my bottom 3 on there as well. On of the houses that had dropped me was the sorority which my boyfriend was the sweetheart for. I couldn't believe that that was it. I could grasp that it was just gone, and he and I couldn't share that experience anymore.
I went through House Tours a little upset, but still trying my best. My 2nd and 3rd favorites were still on my list, and I was sure everything would be okay.
At the end of House Tours, I just knew which one I was gonna be in at the point. I had loved the girls, and I felt like I had real, good conversations with them.
But then Pref Round came.
I had told myself before that if that sorority didn't ask me back for pref, i would drop. When I could to recruitment again and took my card, I looked, and it was the same response as before. Disappointment and slight anger. The house I loved had dropped me.
The two houses I had on the card weren't bad, but I didn't think they stood out much to me. So I went through this last round with as open a mind as I could. The first house was...okay. Nothing special. I didn't feel much.
The second house I definitely liked better. But I just couldn't feel the happiness or love for this sorority that I had so hoped I would.
When it came time to decide what to do, I was so ridiculously confused. I had talked to several SRCs, a couple of whom I knew either outside of recruitment or from high school. They told me that I should "trust the system", and just go through with whatever would happen tomorrow.
I just couldn't believe that the two houses that I had felt really good about had dropped me. One being the chapter of my boyfriend, and the other being the one I loved during House Tours. I eventually felt like I was just settling by ranking them and continuing onto Bid day.
So I dropped out.

I immediately called my boyfriend, told him the situation and he took me out to dinner. I was a little upset, but he understood where I was coming from, and even assured me that he could help me get through informal for his sorority in the spring. I felt a little more confident.

But then Bid day came, and I saw so many pictures, and I saw one in particular. A girl whom I really did not like ended up in the sorority that my boyfriend was the chapter sweetheart for. She was a very fake girl, and just overall, really mean. Could I really be her "sister"?
I eventually decided she's just one girl of over 200, and I could survive.

But then it happened.

My boyfriend broke up with me.

I look back at recruitment as a time of very conflicted thoughts, and a little bit of regret.
I am sort of happy that I didn't go through with it, considering I am really broke, and probably wouldn't be able to afford it this year.

I guess I'll try again next fall, with a REAL open mind. We'll see how that time goes.

The moral of the whole thing is just...don't let anyone else interfere with this kind of decision. You need to do it for you. Not anyone else. Whether that person is your best friend, boyfriend, enemy, anything. It shouldn't matter. This is the time to be selfish. Do it for you.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by KSUconfused

So I went through recruitment about a month ago at my university as a freshman. I was so ridiculously excited. Especially since my boyfriend of two years was involved in a fraternity, and pushed me to go greek from the beginning.
This is where the trouble came in. He was the chapter sweetheart for a sorority on campus before I went through recruitment. Now, like just about any girl in my situation, I was secretly hoping that I would end up in that sorority and we could share that experience together. Even though I kept telling myself I was going in with an open mind, it's pretty obvious looking back that I wasn't.
So Round 1 came.
After the first round (philanthropy), I had loved a couple in particular out of the 7, one of them being the one which my boyfriend was the sweetheart for. I was so excited to see which sororities I would be asked back to for Round 2, House tours.
Then Round 2.
I got my card with all of the houses I would be going to. I was not too happy about it. In fact, I was a little angry. My top house had dropped me, and I actually had my bottom 3 on there as well. On of the houses that had dropped me was the sorority which my boyfriend was the sweetheart for. I couldn't believe that that was it. I could grasp that it was just gone, and he and I couldn't share that experience anymore.
I went through House Tours a little upset, but still trying my best. My 2nd and 3rd favorites were still on my list, and I was sure everything would be okay.
At the end of House Tours, I just knew which one I was gonna be in at the point. I had loved the girls, and I felt like I had real, good conversations with them.
But then Pref Round came.
I had told myself before that if that sorority didn't ask me back for pref, i would drop. When I could to recruitment again and took my card, I looked, and it was the same response as before. Disappointment and slight anger. The house I loved had dropped me.
The two houses I had on the card weren't bad, but I didn't think they stood out much to me. So I went through this last round with as open a mind as I could. The first house was...okay. Nothing special. I didn't feel much.
The second house I definitely liked better. But I just couldn't feel the happiness or love for this sorority that I had so hoped I would.
When it came time to decide what to do, I was so ridiculously confused. I had talked to several SRCs, a couple of whom I knew either outside of recruitment or from high school. They told me that I should "trust the system", and just go through with whatever would happen tomorrow.
I just couldn't believe that the two houses that I had felt really good about had dropped me. One being the chapter of my boyfriend, and the other being the one I loved during House Tours. I eventually felt like I was just settling by ranking them and continuing onto Bid day.
So I dropped out.

I immediately called my boyfriend, told him the situation and he took me out to dinner. I was a little upset, but he understood where I was coming from, and even assured me that he could help me get through informal for his sorority in the spring. I felt a little more confident.

But then Bid day came, and I saw so many pictures, and I saw one in particular. A girl whom I really did not like ended up in the sorority that my boyfriend was the chapter sweetheart for. She was a very fake girl, and just overall, really mean. Could I really be her "sister"?
I eventually decided she's just one girl of over 200, and I could survive.

But then it happened.

My boyfriend broke up with me.

I look back at recruitment as a time of very conflicted thoughts, and a little bit of regret.
I am sort of happy that I didn't go through with it, considering I am really broke, and probably wouldn't be able to afford it this year.

I guess I'll try again next fall, with a REAL open mind. We'll see how that time goes.

The moral of the whole thing is just...don't let anyone else interfere with this kind of decision. You need to do it for you. Not anyone else. Whether that person is your best friend, boyfriend, enemy, anything. It shouldn't matter. This is the time to be selfish. Do it for you.

I thought this was KSUViolet so I was like

[andthen]

OP, I just want to commend you for your attitude and maturity you have displayed in going through this series of disappointments. Especially realizing being in a sorority is expensive, and remember you're there to learn too . Transitioning from high school to college can be filled with excitement but it can also be filled with challenges that you have just illustrated first hand. I think through this you've learned a valuable lesson and I do hope those lessons learned will still with you should you decide to embark upon formal recruitment next year.

Try to enjoy this time as best as you can and try and find other activities to get involved with outside of class. That is the beauty of college, if you have an interest or want to explore an interest you'll probably find a group for that. Also this will give you avenues to meet new people and perhaps meet others in sororities, which who knows might give you a different opinion than what you had seen during recruitment.

Regardless, I wish you well in college whether or not you decide to go greek. I hope that despite these bumps in the road you will find it to be a positive experience that will make you a better person.

[FSUZeta]

You had a rough couple of weeks during recruitment and then with you and the BF parting ways. This may be one of those "everything works out for a reason" situations. How awkward might it have been had you joined the sorority where you BF is the sweetheart?

Kudos to you for realizing that you might not have gone through with the most open of minds. That can be a difficult thing to do, even without circumstances such as yours. Wishing you the very best of luck when you rush again!

[33girl]

As far as sweethearts are concerned, every GLO is different. We actually had a "no dating the sweetheart" rule. Our sweetheart's girlfriend was in another sorority, and I myself dated another sorority's sweetheart. Just so you know that could have been a real mess.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I thought this was KSUViolet so I was like

Ha. I did a double-take myself!

With that being said, I think I know what school you're referring to (as it does not take rocket science when you went there), and you're absolutely right.

I don't know that I have ever met anyone who did NOT end up regretting allowing a guy or something equally petty keep her from doing something (i.e. Greek Life, studying abroad, whatever) that she actually wanted to do.