Question about fraternity brothers!

Shawndalynn · #1 02-06-2002, 12:18 PM

I was just curious about something. I have a best friend (well up untill a couple days ago) and he is the president of his fraternity. I have known him for 4 years and I used to be in love with him. But I finally realized that it was just that I was used to him being there all the time not that I really loved him. Anyways we went out last week and I was with one of his fraternity brothers and he kissed me. And ever since then he has been over at my apartment. He is really sweet and fun to hang out with. But a couple days ago me and my best friend got in a fight over something stupid so I dont know what to do. He was really mad at me. I mean I would still like to try and get to know his fraternity brother better so maybe we could talk. Would that be the wrong thing to do? Would it cause conflict between the two of them? Thats the last thing I want to do so I thought I would get some opinions before I made my decision. And also his fraternity brother the one I want to talk to is also the one who told me a long time ago that my friend was a jerk and that he treated me wrong and I shouldh't have to deal with it and that he did not want to watch me get hurt since I did not deserve it. Any suggestions.

Optimist Prime · #2 02-06-2002, 02:41 PM

I'd still talk to the one you want to talk to. Guys aren't as catty as girls, so even if the one guy had a problem with it, it could probably be resolved pretty quickly.

zete_boy · #3 02-06-2002, 04:27 PM

Personally i'd drop the whole idea, it has been my experience that dispite if you talk to your friend about his brother he'll still have feelings and this would complicate things between all parties. hense why our chapter has an unwritten rule that family members and ex's are off limits to other brothers, it just saves a lot of hassle in the end. I would stay friends with the two, but make your stance and stick with it, whatever you decide to do
Just my two cents.
Ed

Shawndalynn · #4 02-06-2002, 06:02 PM

Thanks for the suggestions. It is hard though becuase I really like the other one. And my friend the one that is mad at me right now has a girlfriend so it's not like i would be chosing between the two I just want to make sure there is no trouble between the two of them. They both know that I don't want to get in the middle of things with them. Well I will let yall know how it goes or what I decide to do.
Thanks again

Optimist Prime · #5 02-06-2002, 07:07 PM

trouble between brothers will solved in a fight/wrestling match type of deal. If you stop talking to the one you like, he will think it is because of the one that has a girlfriend and that will be worse.

AchtungBaby80 · #6 02-08-2002, 01:11 PM

Talk to whoever you want to, but please do not mention any fights, squabbles, etc. between you and your friend to *anyone* else in his fraternity. He will not appreciate it. (I know, because someone did that to me and I was not happy.) I don't care how nice Guy #2 is, there's still the potential for some drama there, and you really don't want that! I'm always hearing guys complain about girls who make trouble between them and their fraternity brothers, whether the trouble is real or imagined, and I know you don't want to be the one they're talking about. So stay friendly with both of them, but just keep your relationships with the two of them separate.

Betarulz! · #7 02-08-2002, 01:46 PM

It's been my experience that things (problems, party fouls, embarassing moments, etc.) will stick around for a lot shorter period than one would imagine. If it's something that people think are funny, than it will be brought up again months later so that everyone can have a laugh, but I think that everyone, in the interest of keeping sane (since they have to live in the same house and what not) are pretty quick to drop things. So I guess that's good news for you.

However the bad news might be that they decide that a girl shouldn't come between them. So you still need to be cautious as you proceed.

Shawndalynn · #8 02-08-2002, 02:49 PM

You are right that's why I am unsure of what to do. And the thing is guy#1 is the one thats telling people our business I have nothing to do with it. It's my personal prefrence not to kiss and tell. I am just taking things day by day to make sure I don't screw things up. Thanks for the advice.