Rushing as a second year

[TCMJuiceVA]

I'm in a strange situation, but I think if I put in some effort I can head in the right direction. I have a while to make a decision, as formal rush is in the spring.

I'm at UVa and this only really rushed one chapter seriously (Mistake #1) because I was pretty confident I was a good fit there and I am a legacy for this fraternity. I asumed it was the right choice (Mistake#2). Needless to say that fell through miserably, and now I hope that I can maybe have a second chance.

I have three prospective chapters, which can reasonably ranked as upper mid-tier chapters. While I am not in the greek system here I am well acquainted with it so I know what I'm getting myself into. One chapter, I had 3 friends from high school pledge and they enjoy it thoroughly. I actually have been hanging out with these guys and meeting their brothers over this summer. Another chapter, I have a friend from my hometown who is encouraging me to pursue interest in his chapter. And another, where one of my best friends I met first year pledged and he's encouraged me to look at his chapter.

I think I have a good foundation, but I just need opinions as to what the greek system, especially at shcools like Ole Miss, UGA, and Bama think of characters like myself. Also, what could be done to make myself more appealing to these chapters?

[banditone]

My money is on chapter #1 with your 3 H.S. friends.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by TCMJuiceVA

I'm in a strange situation, but I think if I put in some effort I can head in the right direction. I have a while to make a decision, as formal rush is in the spring.

I'm at UVa and this only really rushed one chapter seriously (Mistake #1) because I was pretty confident I was a good fit there and I am a legacy for this fraternity. I asumed it was the right choice (Mistake#2). Needless to say that fell through miserably, and now I hope that I can maybe have a second chance.

I have three prospective chapters, which can reasonably ranked as upper mid-tier chapters. While I am not in the greek system here I am well acquainted with it so I know what I'm getting myself into. One chapter, I had 3 friends from high school pledge and they enjoy it thoroughly. I actually have been hanging out with these guys and meeting their brothers over this summer. Another chapter, I have a friend from my hometown who is encouraging me to pursue interest in his chapter. And another, where one of my best friends I met first year pledged and he's encouraged me to look at his chapter.

I think I have a good foundation, but I just need opinions as to what the greek system, especially at shcools like Ole Miss, UGA, and Bama think of characters like myself. Also, what could be done to make myself more appealing to these chapters?

I'm confused. Why do you *need* opinions from SEC schools regarding *your* rushing at UVa? If you have three prospective chapters that you are interested in, then all you should be worried about is building on your relationship with your friends who are members of those chapters and trying to secure a bid come next spring.

[Elephant Walk]

Well, I would think that he's worried about his chances of getting in, so he's asking what a 2nd year person is looked at. He needs to worry less about that, obviously but it's also good to know what people are thinking in a tougher rush setting.

Sometimes 2nd year students are refreshing because they have all their shit together. Make sure you're a strong candidate in that you have the necessary connections on campus. The three high school friends are a great start, especially if they have clout within the fraternity (they would be sophomores, I'd assume so I don't know how much clout they would have...just hope they aren't dickfarmers).

I had a good friend go through as a freshman. He badly wanted to get into this one house and his friend inside the house kept saying he'd get a bid and he'd have no problem. Well, come bid day my freshman friend didn't get the bid because his high school sophomore friend had absolutely no clout within the fraternity and was a spring pledge (which is looked down upon, especially by the bigger fall classes). So don't think you have it sown up, make sure you make other connects throughout that fraternity if that is the one you want.

[Canadian]

I was a 3rd year pledge (and a founding father to boot).

I found it's helpful to have a mix. Sometimes the people who pledge in 3rd and 4th year are just looking for networking and social opportunities. But people who join in 2nd and 3rd years often have some advantages others don't have. By the time I was in the 2nd year, I'd been in 4 clubs, on the executive of one, I had a core group of friends and I was actually being recognized for things done after high school. So maybe if you've got some accomplishments they'll look at you favourably.

Why woulden't they? After all, you know enough to show up for class, you've probably got some non-Greek and Greek friends, you do know 3 Greeks in 1 fraternity, you may have some good connections with professors and senior students (it never hurts to attend faculty/student mixers to meet potential profs). In fact, the very fact that you made it through College 101 proves that you'll probably make it through the entire process. So you're a good catch, if they see you like that.

Also, many of my brothers spent 5-7 years on a double degree program (ie Mgt/Accounting, Mgt/Poly Sci.). So if you've got a long academic career planned or think you'll spend a semester working, you've got a great resume to show these guys.

Finally, if I still talked with every friend I had in high school, I'd have hundreds of conversations a day. College is about meeting people and networking with people who are going to help and who you can help later in life.

Thomas

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

Sometimes 2nd year students are refreshing because they have all their shit together. Make sure you're a strong candidate in that you have the necessary connections on campus. The three high school friends are a great start, especially if they have clout within the fraternity (they would be sophomores, I'd assume so I don't know how much clout they would have...just hope they aren't dickfarmers).

I had a good friend go through as a freshman. He badly wanted to get into this one house and his friend inside the house kept saying he'd get a bid and he'd have no problem. Well, come bid day my freshman friend didn't get the bid because his high school sophomore friend had absolutely no clout within the fraternity and was a spring pledge (which is looked down upon, especially by the bigger fall classes). So don't think you have it sown up, make sure you make other connects throughout that fraternity if that is the one you want.

Solid advice. The best.

TCMJuiceVA, based on the details of your post- I get the feeling you are a solid rush candidate at your school who just happened to have a bad first experience and are afraid of that happening again.

You have gotten some great guidance so far, and I would just add that now is a good time to think seriously about these 3 chapters and the ability of your contacts in those chapters to be of help to you. Keep in mind too that all the help they can offer is to present you to the chapter for consideration.

That is both nothing and everything. It won't get you the bid on its own, but if you have friends urging you to join 3 different solid chapters at UVA- then it is clear you are a solid candidate. That is enough people for me to assume you have a lot going for you.

A good number of guys in selective Greek systems make a mistake the first time around- often a mistake they could not have forseen. And they very often find the right fit sophomore year. This is not uncommon, so don't worry about it.

As for making yourself more appealing to certain chapters- be careful there. From your post where you have a clear perception of the status of the chapters you might be considered for- and from the fact you have friends at those 3 chapters eager to rush you- you don't need to change too much. Talk to any friends you have in sororities about working on things like attire and manners if you think that will help. But don't try to change who you are.

You can fit into certain societal conventions without sacrificing your core self. Doing that for rush is good practice for real life when you go out into the world and make a living in your chosen industry and location which will have its own conventions. If you will be happy with acceptance into a chapter that can be a fun place where you can grow, then making these kinds of adjustments will be worth it- and you can do it without changing who you are.

Good luck and hope this helps.

[TCMJuiceVA]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

You can fit into certain societal conventions without sacrificing your core self. Doing that for rush is good practice for real life when you go out into the world and make a living in your chosen industry and location which will have its own conventions. If you will be happy with acceptance into a chapter that can be a fun place where you can grow, then making these kinds of adjustments will be worth it- and you can do it without changing who you are.

Good luck and hope this helps.

I don't mean that I need to change who I am, I mean is there anything that can be done (expressing interest, talking to some upperclassmen, use ties with sororities) that would make me appealing? I'm not the kind of person who would change to fit into a fraternity.

Ya'll have thrown out some great advice that makes me feel pretty confident, but is there anything that can be done that I might not already be doing?

[Canadian]

Think of Rush as like a group job interview. You may want to examine your life and lifestyle and present positives to the actives and downplay your negatives. And don't be afraid to mention other community and academic involvement. If you were in ROTC, or were an Eagle Scout or active in your church, that's a great thing, especially since many fraternities require community service and active participation.

Also, instead of playing up the fact that you know sorority girls, use the fact that you are interested in Greek life and are friendly to many Greeks, both boys and girls.

Thomas

[FSUZeta]

if you don't give it a try and go thru the recruitment process, you will not receive a bid-ya gotta give it a try. try to keep your options open to maximize your choices.

having friends in chapters at your school should be some advantage, because they can speak on your behalf. getting to know the other brothers is key, because you will still need to make a good impression on the other brothers. you can certainly ask your friends who are fraternity members for advice on what to wear and how to act at the parties.

think about what you could bring to that chapter-how your joining would enhance that chapter. for instance, if you are involved in student government, many chapters would consider that an asset. are you a good student? every chapter needs guys with good gpa's.are you really into sports-you could help them out with their intramurals. just be subtle in bringing up those things-you want to be able to introduce your assets into a conversation without it appearing that you are bragging. then again, your friends could mention the fact that you are involved in _____ on campus or that you made the deans list, but still like to have a good time so that you don't have to bring it up.

good luck to you