Georgetown LAX 2004q

[Rudey]

This is so hilarious.

-Rudey

Georgetown Lacrosse 2004:
The Sweetness Continues
Men's Lacrosse Team Tears
Through Another Season Like
So Many Beers/Freshman Girls
By Eli Cash and Tim Madrid

The Georgetown University men's lacrosse team recently started the 2004 season, which The Lampoon can assure its readers will amount to a four-month sweetness bender. The team looks strong this year, with fresh young talent and 'super-sweet' veterans. With board shorts, around-the-back high-fives, and Old School quotes at an all-time high, everyone close to the program is expecting big things.
This year's captains are goalie Ewell Cardwell Potter VI (MSB 04) and star attackman Tucker Pryce Betford (MSB 04), who led the NCAA in sweetness assists last season. Potter told The Lampoon that he was excited about "all of the hella hot freshman hos" he is going to "nail," and pastel LaCoste shirts that he can work into his wardrobe.
The team also has some stellar young freshman who can't wait to get out onto the field for the Hoyas. Among them are attackman Hunter Q. Watson III (MSB 07), midfielders Brock Thurgood (MSB 07) and Sloan 'Slider' Winthrop (MSB 07), and defenseman Date R. Ape (MSB 07). When asked about the upcoming sweetness competition against Duke, Winthrop
assured The Lampoon that Georgetown would "totally out-sweet" the Blue Devils. Watson III, who is known for his roophie punch and "hella sweet" Ace Ventura impersonation, agreed with Winthrop.
No one was more enthusiastic, however, than Coach Tom Davenport (MSB 98). Coach Davenport has gone on the record saying, "I can't wait to see what stunts these clowns pull off this year. After last season's hella awesome New South panty raids and totally boss make-out parties, I know this team is destined for greatness."
The Lampoon is predicting a first-place finish at this season's
NCAA Sweetness Tournament. Junior midfielder Bryce C. Hamilton Jr. (MSB '05), who is Georgetown's all-time leader in most visors worn backwards and upside-down, summed it up by saying, "We're gonna nail so many freshmen chicks that our junks are gonna fall off, man. Now that's hella cool!"