A Very Vera Recruitment Story! :)

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

Hello! I've been an anonymous lurker on this site for about a year now, but I finally decided to come out of ninja status and post my recruitment story. I hope it's useful for women who are considering Greek life, but are very much on the fence! (like I was back then!)

A quick blurb about my school and its Greek system:
- We're a smaller place, with about 1,200 students total. Somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of women on campus are members of a sorority.
- We have deferred recruitment, occurring at the start of the spring semester in February.
- We do not have a highly competitive recruitment (I'd never even heard of recs before I started looking at this site!)
- Recruitment's Structure:
Night 1: Philanthropy
Night 2: Skit
Night 3: Preference
Day 4: Bid Day!
- There are 4 sororities on campus, which will be codenamed using random Vera Bradley patterns!

Lime's Up
Sun Valley
Indigo Pop
Summer Cottage

And a bit of background about me/how I felt about Greek life going into recruitment:
Back then, I was a shy freshman who had a really awkward roommate situation and was absolutely awful at making new friends. I was lonely and had far too much time alone on my hands - I wanted to get out there and DO something during college!

Coming into college, I really had no idea what the big deal was with Greek life. While my family supported my choice to Go Greek, they were concerned about the financial and time commitments involved. I was the first person in my family to ever join a GLO, so I didn't really have a ton of background knowledge going in. Also, there happened to be a large clique of women from my high school who all went through recruitment at a nearby state school. Honestly, they were stuck up prats who were more interested in adding a list of items to their resumes and wearing letters around campus. (as opposed to investing themselves in the values of their organizations and making meaningful connections with sisters) It wasn't really a good supplement to that lack of knowledge about Greek organizations in general.

However, because my school has deferred recruitment, I was able to get a look into how Greek life worked on my campus - fortunately for me! During orientation week, my group's guide was a Greek woman. She was classy, intelligent, friendly, and funny - in short, not at all what I expected. (And two years later, I had the honor of working with her on a recruitment counselor team for upperclassmen women!) From there on, I met so many women in my college's community who were service-minded and were genuinely interested in getting involved on campus. When the time to register rolled around, I decided to jump in headfirst and see where the rabbit hole led me!

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

Initial Impressions (prior to recruitment)

Lime's Up - I was really enthusiastic about this organization. I thought their philanthropy was an amazing fit for me and was something I could meaningfully contribute my time to. The women I met seemed very chill and relaxed, though a good chunk of the older girls seemed to be more of a partying type - which was a bit different for a non-partying introvert. My orientation guide was also part of this organization, so I was definitely interested in meeting more of her sisters during recruitment.

Sun Valley - I literally never saw a woman from this organization. Ever. Total tabula rasa going into recruitment. From what I read on their website, they had a nice organization but I didn't really feel a strong pull toward them.

Indigo Pop - This was a group of women who were very enthusiastic about their chapter and philanthropy, but meeting them in groups was always slightly intimidating. This was the most popular/competitive chapter on campus, so everyone was racing toward it and could only say positives when I was looking for a more rounded viewpoint. I had met a couple of women through their involvement in campus service organizations and they were very friendly! While I was impressed by their commitment to academics and service, I wasn't sure if this was the place for me.

Summer Cottage - This was a very diverse, eclectic group that seemed to have a strong focus on academic pursuits. I had heard of quite a few sisters of this organization through their prominence in leadership positions on campus, but I didn't really have a chance to personally meet more than a handful prior to recruitment. However, at one of their recruitment events, I struck up a fascinating conversation with one of their sisters about Harry Potter! We were so engrossed in discussing some finer points of Harry Potter trivia that her sisters basically had to shoo me (along with a few other PNMs!) out of their house by the end of the event! I was interested in this organization, but definitely wanted to meet more women.

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

PHILANTHROPY NIGHT:
Lime's Up - AAAGH I still adored their philanthropy! After a short powerpoint, we sat at round tables and colored pages that featured letters of the alphabet. It was a great event in terms of being able to sit and talk without having to invest TOO much into the craft - plus, it's hard to beat coloring to keep you focused and bring back some childhood memories. (though I'm honestly not sure what they did with those pages..) However, my conversations at this house were not the best at all. I was very excited to see my friend from earlier in the fall and had a great couple of minutes with her, but beyond that I didn't really click with anyone else in the chapter. I felt so awkward and didn't know what to say during this event - and whatever I did say fell rather flat. This was also my first visit of the evening, so I was extremely nervous to begin with. I didn't know where I stood with the chapter, since I really didn't bond with a ton of people.

Sun Valley - I knew as soon as I walked in the door that this chapter was not for me. At all. The women were absolute sweethearts, but their house just didn't feel like home. (Don't ask me how or why I thought this - it was just the vibe I got at the time.) I was politely interested in their philanthropy, but didn't feel a strong connection to it. However, I loved the way they set up their event - it really facilitated easy conversation! We were sitting on the floor in 4 groups of 2, with each pair of PNM/sister at a corner of a sheet. We were writing notes/adding inspirational quotes/making cute drawings onto heart-shaped foam stickers, which would be sent to local children impacted by this group's philanthropy. We were talking as an entire group while writing, which definitely made things a little more comfortable. Because there was not as much pressure on one person to generate conversation, we could focus on snippets that we specifically wanted to comment on or start subtopics and could go from there. I definitely felt welcomed at this house, but again, I just had an odd gut feeling that I wasn't coming back there the next night. I wouldn't have minded learning more about them, though!

Indigo Pop - After a video from their national organization on the partnership with their philanthropy, we stood at tables in pairs and made foam sticker hats for children impacted by this chapter's philanthropy. I was paired with a woman who I knew decently well from a campus service organization we were both members of, but the conversation was a little stilted at times. We both got a little stuck at times on what to say and how to balance talking with the rather attention-intensive craft. I didn't really feel a strong connection to other women in this chapter, though I did meet some friendly women I hadn't had the opportunity to prior to recruitment! I was optimistic, but cautious - I had no idea how they felt about me.

Summer Cottage - After a video from their national organization, we sat at tables downstairs and made bead bracelets for children at a nearby facility for this philanthropy. (The beads were so cute, as well!) This house was such a whirlwind of activity. I remember meeting my friend from prior to recruitment and having a quick chat, but after that it was an almost constant run-around of meeting women. It was great to actually connect faces to names! However, since this was my last visit for the night, I just felt exhausted and ready to trek back to my dorm - which, inevitably, does not facilitate clever and meaningful conversations.

-> I will finish this tomorrow evening! I've really got to get to bed now, though!

[Sciencewoman]

Thanks for sharing! How does the ranking system work at your school? Can you possibly go back to 3 chapters the next night?

[TriDeltaC]

yaay, thanks for sharing your recruitment story!

I'm rooting for Summer Cottage or Lime's Up!

[kateee]

Your school sounds just like my school! Same size, same number of chapters.

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

Sciencewoman: Thanks! And ack, I knew I forgot something!
The maximum number of chapters you can visit on each night:
Philanthropy - All 4 (barring GPA requirements)
Skit - Up to 3
Preference - Up to 2

TriDeltaC: Thanks!

kateee: Oh, cool!! Nice to meet someone from a smaller Greek community as well!

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by APhiO&ADPiGal

Sciencewoman: Thanks! And ack, I knew I forgot something!
The maximum number of chapters you can visit on each night:
Philanthropy - All 4 (barring GPA requirements)
Skit - Up to 3
Preference - Up to 2
!

Loving your story! I noticed that on philanthropy night you made a note about barring GPA requirements. Does that mean all rounds are by invite only? Is there no open house type round?

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

Thanks! And Philanthropy Night is generally our open house round. However, it is possible for a GPA to come into play in the event of upperclassmen. One of our sororities has a slightly higher upperclassman GPA than our other organizations, so women who do not meet that requirement are usually ineligible to join that organization and just don't go there on the first night, likely to avoid getting one's hopes up. (unless they are really close/extenuating circumstances/etc) Thus, a couple of women will come in with three options on their schedule in the first night. (That's about the most detail I know of it and I freely admit I don't remember it all perfectly. Not something I dealt with a ton as an average member!)

[kateee]

Our school does things differently. Monday we have a meeting, then split into our Rho Gamma groups and do some ice breakers with the girls in our groups, and ask our Rho Gammas any questions. Tuesday we see all 4 organizations for 30 minutes each. Wednesday and Thursday we do 2 each night for an hour each. Friday is preference, invite only, maximum of 2 parties. Saturday is bid day.

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

Our campus does:

earlier that week - Info Meeting
Thursday - Philanthropy (40 minutes per chapter, up to 4)
Friday - Skit (50 minutes per chapter, up to 3)
Saturday - Preference (60 minutes per chapter, up to 2)
Sunday - Bid Day

Out of curiosity, how does dividing the second round up into 2 nights work? I imagine it's a little easier in terms of sheer OMG ALL THIS AT ONCE for the PNMs, but that must be a lot of work on the chapter's side!

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

We were told to order our top three in terms of the ones we were most excited/would prefer to visit again the next evening, while the last choice would be the one we perhaps weren't as excited about or didn't feel as strong of a connection. We could visit up to three during Skit Night.

When it came time to place our choices, I ordered them as such:
Summer Cottage
Indigo Pop
Lime's Up
Sun Valley

I knew I wanted to learn more about Summer Cottage; despite my exhaustion, I had a great experience there and really wanted to meet more women. I felt that Indigo Pop and Lime's Up had potential; I didn't feel confident about how things went conversation-wise, but I was definitely interested in moving on with them into Skit Night. I really wanted to go back to Sun Valley and learn more about their sisterhood, but I didn't feel that the possibilities there outweighed my gut feeling about the chapter as a whole. Thus, I chose to place it as least preference.

[kateee]

Originally Posted by APhiO&ADPiGal

Our campus does:

earlier that week - Info Meeting
Thursday - Philanthropy (40 minutes per chapter, up to 4)
Friday - Skit (50 minutes per chapter, up to 3)
Saturday - Preference (60 minutes per chapter, up to 2)
Sunday - Bid Day

Out of curiosity, how does dividing the second round up into 2 nights work? I imagine it's a little easier in terms of sheer OMG ALL THIS AT ONCE for the PNMs, but that must be a lot of work on the chapter's side!

I haven't seen recruitment from the chapters side yet, and I won't this year either since I am a Rho Gamma. lol but I imagine it's a bit of work for them, but it was certainly nice as a PNM, except my top two were on the first night and so I felt second night was a bit pointless lol I shoulda been more openminded

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

Originally Posted by kateee

I haven't seen recruitment from the chapters side yet, and I won't this year either since I am a Rho Gamma.

Whoa, good luck! I know my school has a policy in place where you can't apply to be a counselor until you've gone through Formal Recruitment once, but I would imagine it takes a little stress off when considering having to find outfits, rehearse skits, and practice songs! And at least you'll get to see what's going on in all four chapters, not just your own!

[APhiO&ADPiGal]

I was still a little nervous, but I gradually became more excited as the day went on. After walking to the gathering area and picking up my schedule for the evening, I received quite a shock.

Summer Cottage

Just the one.

I was just sitting there in shock for a few minutes, wondering what on earth I did wrong. I had a strong GPA. I knew I was awkward, but I didn't think I was that awkward. At the time, as silly as it sounds, it did feel like a personal blow. I felt a little betrayed by the women in other chapters who I thought I'd at least had a tolerable working relationship with; I second-guessed how they felt about me and if everything was just to get my hopes up during recruitment.

(Looking back, I would probably imagine my awkwardness / lack of connections with a larger number of women sunk me. I really wish I had attended more recruitment events - but because I registered for recruitment so late in the game, I had no ideas about attending those fall events and meeting a wide range of women.)

In a room full of women screaming about getting their top three and without a recruitment counselor nearby, I just felt awful. Naturally, my first inclination was to get away from everyone and think. Would I leave now? Was I willing to risk having this happen tomorrow night? Why was I here? There would be time to think about what I did wrong; I didn't need to get upset by thinking about the past at this point.

After a few minutes, I just decided to go and see what would happen. I'd already paid my fees to go through this process. I was already here; I'd just have to walk across campus again if I withdrew. I had an interest in one chapter that was clearly wanting to get to know me as well. It was not a horrible position, though it was by no means the ideal. I walked out, got into line, and acted as if nothing was wrong & I was meant to be there the whole time.

(Also looking back: The one piece of advice that I would offer to women in this situation is this. YOU ONLY NEED ONE BID. Just one. No matter how many chapters you start with, no matter if you have the maximum number of chapters for each round, you will only go home to one chapter. I found this on Greekchat a looong time ago, but it offered me so much comfort - even though I found it after I became a member and was going through recruitment on the other side, belated is better than never.)

Summer Cottage - However much I tried to keep it out of my mind, I was still a little dazed. I was paired with a sophomore woman who'd gone through recruitment last year. We had a pleasant conversation while watching a slideshow, which highlighted sisterhood activities, a couple of interviews with members about what their chapter meant to them, and some photos of sisters in the chapter who had travelled abroad. Those were some REALLY cool photos - ie, sisters in front of Stonehenge, the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Mahal, and other well-known sites doing their hand sign and wearing their letters. As someone who came to this school in order to study abroad, I loved seeing those photos! In addition, hearing about their initiatives to keep in contact with abroad sisters was touching and helped illustrate their sisterhood in a way that really resonated with me. After the slideshow, we headed downstairs to watch some hilarious skits and enjoy warm cookies and hot chocolate! (Considering the cold in early February, this was AMAZING.) About 40 minutes in, the skits ended and we broke up into small groups for conversation with other sisters, including the women in the skits. I felt relaxed, though I was still very nervous in group conversations. We were really scrunched in together, making it hard to not elbow someone at times.

At the end of the night, I had a generally positive experience and felt more comfortable with the chapter as a whole. I still had some doubts and the option of not going Greek was still present, but my curiosity and good vibes from that night outweighed them. I decided that I'd see what happened with Summer Cottage tomorrow night, if they invited me back.

Also, after a long conversation with my mother and my recruitment counselor later that evening, they helped me to deal with my emotions in a productive manner and explained that it wasn't a personal betrayal. Things happen, essentially. My counselor also encouraged me to at least reach out and try to maintain my friendships in other organizations, noting that different letters don't necessarily equal the inability to be friends - and sharing letters don't guarantee friendship, for that matter!