conversation

maddie101 · #1 08-09-2008, 09:33 AM

What are the beset things to talk to PNMs about? I see all the NO's...boys, booze, bible, bankaccount, ect. but for all those top sororities on here, what are the things you do talk to PNMs about? What gets them to want to be one of you?

Roraem · #2 08-11-2008, 11:37 AM

Ask them new questions. Before recruitment starts, make up a list of 5-10 really interesting questions that you would honestly like to know the answer to. Remember that all of the girls in your GLO and in every other sorority during recruitment will be asking the same few questions. "What's your major","where are you from", and "what are your hobbies" gets old fast.

One of my favorite questions has always been "If money was not a problem, what would you major in?"

The reason people mostly just advise you to stay away from the "B" questions is because you should be creative and talk to the PNM about things that matter to you. There is no magic question or topic that will make the PNM love your GLO instantly and want only your sorority. It will probably come easier than you think. At the same time, don't force topics into conversations! Let it flow naturally, let the PNM ask questions and start topics, and most importantly stay calm and be yourself.

AlphaXi_Husky · #3 08-11-2008, 06:19 PM

As has been suggested many a time on GC - read "I <3 Recruitment" by Coffey & Gendron. It has a lot of helpful tips for how to talk to PNMs. Also, the search function is your friend - there have been many threads on conversation topics.

As for this...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roraem

The reason people mostly just advise you to stay away from the "B" questions is because you should be creative and talk to the PNM about things that matter to you.

...I disagree - the reason to stay away from the "B" questions is because it's impolite (and trashy) to talk about those topics with strangers. However I do agree you should try and be creative when talking to PNMs - open-ended questions are your friend.

adpiucf · #4 08-11-2008, 06:51 PM

When you meet someone new, what are some things you are interested in knowing about her? Think about this and write out a list. Also, talk to some older sisters who have been through the other side of recruitment before. They will have great ideas on questions to ask.

Some things I'd want to know about a new person interested in my sorority would include the basics: where's she from, what she's majoring in, why she chose to come to college here, and where she's living this fall. I'd also be interested in her hobbies, and some of the activities she participated in while in high school.

Mostly, I'd be looking to find something in common with her in the course of asking these questions. For example, asking someone her hometown or high school might be a basic question, but it might just turn out that you are from the same hometown! Finding something in common often helps to make the conversation flow.

Also, you might want to ask her what motivated her to go through sorority recruitment. Ask her what she's looking forward to the most as a prospective sorority member-- take her responses as cues to sell her on what makes your sorority a great place! Play up your sisterhood, social activities, philanthropy, etc.

Good luck!

Roraem · #5 08-12-2008, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaXi_Husky

...I disagree - the reason to stay away from the "B" questions is because it's impolite (and trashy) to talk about those topics with strangers.

I agree. My point was why people were only recommending to stay away from touchy topics, not why the "B" questions are inappropriate. I suppose I could have worded that phrase better

ASTalumna06 · #6 08-12-2008, 09:51 AM

You want to ask the basics, but clearly you also want to engage in a meaningful conversation.

as adpiucf said, ask her why she's there! Sometimes potential new members are looking for a good group of friends. Sometimes they're looking to get involved on campus. Some of them are completely out of their element, and enjoy the fact that they're trying something new and random, and they're looking to see where it takes them. And when you ask questions like "why did you decide to go through recruitment?" occasionally you can immediately pick out the girls that you DON'T want. I see just on this site alone stories about girls who, when asked, say something like "I want to know which fraternity has the hottest guys." It's sad, but it happens.

Another good thing to do is ask them if they have any questions for you about the sorority. It will let you know just how interested they are. If they ask a question, answer it, but don't spend your entire time with them talking about the sorority. Make your answers short and sweet. If they ask about philanthropy, say something like "we participate in Habitat for Humanity, and each year, as a group, we help to build homes in the surrounding community." Then ask her, "Have you participated in something like that before?"

These question and answer sessions will allow you to gain more insight into who the PNM is as a person, rather than just where they're from and what their major is.

violetpretty · #7 08-12-2008, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

as adpiucf said, ask her why she's there! Sometimes potential new members are looking for a good group of friends. Sometimes they're looking to get involved on campus. Some of them are completely out of their element, and enjoy the fact that they're trying something new and random, and they're looking to see where it takes them. And when you ask questions like "why did you decide to go through recruitment?" occasionally you can immediately pick out the girls that you DON'T want. I see just on this site alone stories about girls who, when asked, say something like "I want to know which fraternity has the hottest guys." It's sad, but it happens.

Absolutely. "Why did you decide to go through recruitment?" or "Why do you want to join a sorority?" is my favorite first question to ask a PNM (after introductions and a little small talk). Then you can talk about what made you interested in joining a sorority.

I actually had a PNM answer to that question, "I go to the bars and I see all the sorority girls together and I want to be just like them." I tried to change the subject but she kept going back to drinking, partying, bars, etc. I don't know if she thought it would impress me?