Is Greek Life not for me?

[acknardi]

I feel like I have such a tumultuous history with trying to go greek.

Last Fall Recruitment as a Freshman, I had to take a writing exam, notified the person coordinating and my Rho Gamm was supposed to call me. Never happened and things were just left like that.

Fall and Winter were terrible both academically(I'm not going to blame my major) and socially. I decided to go through Informal/Spring Rush with barely a 2.5. I was pretty close to AcaPro. Only a few houses participated. I managed to be preffed but did not receive a bid. I was surprised that I was even preffed. This situation inspired me to become a better person, get better grades, stop moping about Chemistry and work harder. I realized I had the power to change things for me and what I didn't like.

I worked on getting Recs and hit the gym. Finally got my GPA up above a 3.0 for the first time ever in my college career. I was a lot happier than before.
I still had doubts of my success. I felt like I didn't have enough of a competitive edge. It's odd because I probably could've killed it last year if I had actually rushed when I was supposed to. This year's freshman had beat out the admissions standards of last year's or my freshman class so they MUST have been amazing. And then the situation at UofA also kind of freaked me out.

I went through Fall as a sophomore. I definitely vibed with girls at houses, especially in the ones that I had not expected. It was surprising and I had good feels. I wanted to get to know some of these females better. I realized that I really wasn't that weird or different from them, my race probably wouldn't matter and that I would have been able to fit in. I probably encountered really great rushers.
Whenever asked who I liked, I wasn't the one to gossip or act like I was hot sh*t and had total control. I didn't care for tiers. I would have been happy to at least be invited back by anyone because I wasn't in the most favorable position. I held off on doing a live recruitment story.

I got cut by all houses the first round. Apparently all groups had gotten pretty bomb pledge classes this year.
I'm still pretty scared to tell the alum who supported me my results.

Maybe my biggest mistake was going through recruitment under a pseudo-nickname because I was worried about they would think of my actual name. I was worried about seeming different or too wayward. It was easier not having to repeat myself or get weird looks but looking back, it was a pretty stupid decision. My name isn't something I should feel that I have to change. Maybe I still wasn't in shape or good looking enoguh. Maybe I didn't know enough girls who would fight for me(if they weren't thrown off by the name thing). It wasn't easy making greek friends last year naturally because I didn't necessarily run in the same circle to which I would have access. Maybe I was under-prepared yet I again. I don't know. I can't figure out what my problem is. Maybe I just suck, don't belong and the other girls were way better.

I will continue working on things and improving. I might not always be happy with myself but I do still know deep inside that I'm high quality. People ask why I even tried. I want to be in camaraderie with the strongest and best women that the school has to offer. I like charity work and actually feeling like I'm doing something. There's so much.
My failure has got me wondering whether I really belong at this school and whether joining a Panhellenic sorority is meant to be for me.
Things have gone wrong from the beginning. I thought that college would be a place for opportunity but it's turning out to be the opposite. I love being active and doing things that benefit others but all of the sudden I feel as if I have no power or lack a pathway to. I have tried joining clubs but in general, most didn't catch my interest or passion the first time around last year.

I was considering going through Spring but it feels a little overdone . A friend of mine, who's in one of the sororities, had encouraged me to. If I did, it's all or nothing. It would be the last chapter of my conquest to get picked up by a group.
My mom wants me to transfer to a school closer to home. Depending on how that goes, I'm not even sure if I would rush there next Fall as a junior. ugh. My chances are hugely dwindling.

Though I didn't cry, I was PRETTY sullen after my rush attempt and feel kind of better now. I don't know what to do. I try to forget and get over sorority life but it won't go away and let me live life for the time-being.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by acknardi

I feel like I have such a tumultuous history with trying to go greek.

Last Fall Recruitment as a Freshman, I had to take a writing exam, notified the person coordinating and my Rho Gamm was supposed to call me. Never happened and things were just left like that.

Fall and Winter were terrible both academically(I'm not going to blame my major) and socially. I decided to go through Informal/Spring Rush with barely a 2.5. I was pretty close to AcaPro. Only a few houses participated. I managed to be preffed but did not receive a bid. I was surprised that I was even preffed. This situation inspired me to become a better person, get better grades, stop moping about Chemistry and work harder. I realized I had the power to change things for me and what I didn't like.

I worked on getting Recs and hit the gym. Finally got my GPA up above a 3.0 for the first time ever in my college career. I was a lot happier thian before.
I still had doubts of my success. I felt like I didn't have enough of a competitive edge. It's odd because I probably could've killed it last year if I had actually rushed when I was supposed to. This year's freshman had beat out the admissions standards of last year's or my freshman class so they MUST have been amazing. And then the situation at UofA also kind of freaked me out.

I went through Fall as a sophomore. I definitely vibed with girls at houses, especially in the ones that I had not expected. It was surprising and I had good feels. I wanted to get to know some of these females better. I realized that I really wasn't that weird or different from them, my race probably wouldn't matter and that I would have been able to fit in. I probably encountered really great rushers.
Whenever asked who I liked, I wasn't the one to gossip or act like I was hot sh*t and had total control. I didn't care for tiers. I would have been happy to at least be invited back by anyone because I wasn't in the most favorable position. I held off on doing a live recruitment story.

I got cut by all houses the first round. Apparently all groups had gotten pretty bomb pledge classes this year.
I'm still pretty scared to tell the alum who supported me my results.

Maybe my biggest mistake was going through recruitment under a pseudo-nickname because I was worried about they would think of my actual name. I was worried about seeming different or too wayward. It was easier not having to repeat myself or get weird looks but looking back, it was a pretty stupid decision. My name isn't something I should feel that I have to change. Maybe I still wasn't in shape or good looking enoguh. Maybe I didn't know enough girls who would fight for me(if they weren't thrown off by the name thing). It wasn't easy making greek friends last year naturally because I didn't necessarily run in the same circle to which I would have access. Maybe I was under-prepared yet I again. I don't know. I can't figure out what my problem is. Maybe I just suck, don't belong and the other girls were way better.

I will continue working on things and improving. I might not always be happy with myself but I do still know deep inside that I'm high quality. People ask why I even tried. I want to be in camaraderie with the strongest and best women that the school has to offer. I like charity work and actually feeling like I'm doing something. There's so much.
My failure has got me wondering whether I really belong at this school and whether joining a Panhellenic sorority is meant to be for me.
Things have gone wrong from the beginning. I thought that college would be a place for opportunity but it's turning out to be the opposite. I love being active and doing things that benefit others but all of the sudden I feel as if I have no power or lack a pathway to. I have tried joining clubs but in general, most didn't catch my interest or passion the first time around last year.

I was considering going through Spring but it feels a little overdone . A friend of mine, who's in one of the sororities, had encouraged me to. If I did, it's all or nothing. It would be the last chapter of my conquest to get picked up by a group.
My mom wants me to transfer to a school closer to home. Depending on how that goes, I'm not even sure if I would rush there next Fall as a junior. ugh. My chances are hugely dwindling.

Though I didn't cry, I was PRETTY sullen after my rush attempt and feel kind of better now. I don't know what to do. I try to forget and get over sorority life but it won't go away and let me live life for the time-being.

Sounds mostly like a GPA issue, but you have self esteem issues screaming all over this post. The way you see yourself is mostly how others will see you. Also, Alabama has nothing to do with your school and should have no bearing on your decisions in life. I know that the situation at that school is shocking and upsetting, but focus on the racial diversity of the organizations at your own school not at the University of Alabama. One has no bearing on the other.

[FSUZeta]

I am no counselor in any stretch of the imagination, so please take what I say with a box, not a grain, of salt.

It sounds like you are not happy at all: with your school, with your campus, with yourself. The fact that you have thought about transferring schools, as well as the fact that you could not find one organization on campus that piqued your interest make me think that you are not happy.

Sororities are not a panacea. A new member doesn't automatically realize her hidden potential upon receiving a bid. College should be a time of personal growth. Concentrate on yourself, take care of yourself and do some soul searching. Maybe you will be happier with a fresh start at a different school (sometimes Moms do know best ). I hope you find your way and are happy. Good luck!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Cherrypi

You did post your recruitment story and it was at an entirely different school than UofA.

I don't think she's saying that she went through recruitment at UA. What I'm reading is that she was freaked out by the UA situation because she is AA? (Correct me if I'm wrong.)

[KSUViolet06]

Double posting but whatever!

I hear you saying that you don't think college or your school is for you because recruitment didn't work out. (You say "I wonder if I belong at this school...")

A sorority is not the Holy Grail of college. You can belong and thrive at a school without being Greek. A sorority is also not the Holy Grail of friendships at any school. You won't magically be a socially butterfly with tons of friends the MINUTE you get a bid.

You don't seem to really like yourself and are looking for a sorority to define you and make you worthwhile. That doesn't work. You'll be really disappointed in your Greek experience if you go into it with that. It's not a magic solution to not having friends.

Honestly, if I am reading correctly, you are a junior, right? I think you might be better off looking into other activities on campus UNLESS you can handle more rejection. If you feel like you will alway wonder "what if?" then by all means, try again, but just be prepared for it.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[adpiucf]

I don't think Greek Life is for you.

[KSUViolet06]

^^Oh I see. Yes, the UCs are a whole world away from Bama in terms of non-white PNMs getting bids.

[MTSUGURL]

I would encourage you to find and become involved in other activities that use and emphasize your strengths. Work on building some more confidence in yourself, and I would encourage you to only transfer if it is for academics, or if you feel like it is the right move to help you become a stronger person. Transferring for the sole reason of going through recruitment again may only bring more disappointment.

[DubaiSis]

You should look into your campus counseling service, both for academics and personal psychology. It sounds like you've started to make some progress with yourself, but I think you have a ways to go. Don't be afraid to seek help. And worry about sorority membership later, if at all.

And don't feel bad about not rocking on your name. I know a certain president who went by Barry until he decided to go into politics. I still think parents (of all races) don't do their kids any favors by giving them goofy names. Your child's name is no place to be creative or different. But that's an argument for another day.

[Blue Skies]

It sounds like your grades may have been the main issue. Keep working on them. Also, keep looking for student groups that you might enjoy. Sororities will want to see campus involvement, and it also helps to make you a well rounded individual.

I have two additional suggestions for you. You mentioned that you have a friend in one of the chapters. While she can't reveal membership selection information, she can perhaps give you some suggestions for how to better present yourself. You might also contact the career services center at your university to see if they have workshops on interviewing techniques.

Whatever the outcome, learning ways to best present yourself will pay off when you are ready to job hunt in your career field.

[MSUpink&blue]

I agree with other people's suggestions about grades and working on confidence. Also check and see if your campus has service sororities. They aren't part of Panhellenic but focus strictly on community service and sisterhood. This close knit bond might really help you feel more connected at school and help you with confidence/overall happiness. Really hope this helps and you find happiness!

[MTSUGURL]

I love my service sorority, but if you are expecting/wanting an NPC experience, service sororities are NOT a substitute. They are a different animal altogether and if you go in wanting or expecting the same type is organization you won't be happy. It's not a consolation prize.