The Issues of Rushing

Hi! This is a complicated story to explain my complicated desision if I shoudl rush or not.

I was at a small school where thre were 5 sororities. Due to many circumstances, I desided to study abroad after my freshman year. While there, I discovered much about myself and desided that the first college was not the place for me. I choose a different school that seemed to better suit me at the time--and who gave me a big scholarship. (Little did I know that my preferences had changed as I study abroad and that this school's academic program did not fit my needs).

Anyway, I arrived at School B second semester sophmore year. Already there had been many Greek Socials, which I missed when I was overseas. As soon as I arrived, silence began, so I couldn't talk to many people or find out info about how the Greek system worked. At this school, out of 8 sororities, I was asked back to 4 during the 6 party round. (I might be leaving out a step). For the preference round, out of 2, I was asked to one. A girl at the final house told me that she thought since I had gotten cut so much and since I was so new, I should take more time to get to know people since I prob wouldn't get a bid now. I took her advice and tried to do COB. Out of the 4 houses that didn't make quota, none of them wanted me. Some of these houses never made quota and some asked girls to join way after COB had started.

Since the academic and social environment did not suit me (especially since i was in a 80% greek school), I transfered to be with friends at a bigger school. This school, with 19 sororities, had many clubs and academic programs that I love. I tried to do informal requitment when I got there. (I had a 4.0 and was involed in campus activities and community service). There was one house that didn't make quota. I went to two events at that house; they seemed nice and asked me if I would be arround that weekend if they needed me for any activities. They never contacted me after that, although they were still doign Informal Recruitment.

I still wonder what life would be like in a house (and part of me wants to try rushing again). I have 2 years left at this school (plus a dean's list gpa, lots of activities, and many awards). My sister is in a house at her school, and this has really sparked my curiosity once again. However, I am wondering if should rush now. I would love to be part of the sisterhood and the service, but I dont want to be rejected for the 4th time. I also dont know what I did wrong the past few times (evenwith the chapters that are known as "so desperate for people that they take everyone"). I have the motivation, grades, and interest in doing this...but does anyone think its feasible? Thanks!

[JohnsDGsweethrt]

Sammy Daisy,

I would say go for it! You'll never know unless you try and it would be awful if you kept thinking to yourself "what if" There's no way to tell what has happened in the past with you not joining a house. Sometimes weird things happen in rush and its just one of life's great mysteries! Believe me, you're not the only one! I don't know when your school rushes but if its not too late i would sign up. You can go to the parties and make up your mind and you don't have to accept a bid if you don't want to! Good luck with your decision!

[Buttonz]

Go for it! You never know what can happen and it's better then wondering what if! But if youdon't there is always AI...but I would try it out! GL

[UGAnchora]

I would say go for it. Have you gone through formal recruitment at this school? If not, I would do it, it would give more sororities a chance to meet you and for you to have a larger selection to find a greek home as opposed to only having once choice with informal recruitment.

Story- on of my sisters, Elizabeth, joined this past spring. She had gone thru formal recruitment her freshman year and had gotten severely cut(even by DG!) and dropped out. But she realized something was missing and knew she wanted to be a DG so when we did COB in the spring she was there. We imediately gave her a bid. We can't believe she slipped thru our fingers earlier!

[Kristin AGD]

My opinion would be to try again. Rejection does hurt. But I think it is worse to go through life with "what if"s. I didn't get a bid at the first school I attended. And I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't given it a second try when the opportunity presented itself, or even a third try had it come to that. You are obviously considering it, and in my opinion that makes it worth the risk.

I say go for it as well - it sounds like you've moved around quite a bit, and maybe this will be the time and place for you!

Like someone else said.... rejection does hurt. If you can, try to think of it as having been practise for going through recruitment this time.... you'll be so much ahead of the game and so much more comfortable because you'll know how it all works.

Ultimately, in my opinion, it comes down to three possibilities:

1) You don't go through with it, and you'll forever regret not giving it that one last try.

2) You go through with it, get a bid, and find your new home at last!

3) You go through with it and don't get bid. Then what? Like others have said, you can try COB/R or even AI. If still nothing comes of that? At least you gave it your best shot, and you won't have to live with the regret of "I could have should have"

[33girl]

Sammy,

I would contact the Greek Life office and ask them what percentage of upperclass women receive bids. At many schools with large greek systems, even sophomores have a hard time getting a bid.

I'm not saying don't go through rush, because you can meet a lot of wonderful people. Just be prepared for your class standing to have a negative effect. Not trying to rain on your parade, just being realistic.

33girl

[CutiePie2000]

Sammy,

I know that there are reasons why chapters make membership decisions and I don't know you personally, and so, I make this post from a not completely informed position.

I am the sort of person who would rather regret what she DID do, rather than she regret what she DID NOT do. And so, I would encourage you to try out for recruitment.

I am not going to sing "Kumbayya" nor sugar coat it.

I will be honest with you in managing your expectations and I am going to tell it to you STRAIGHT:
Depending on how competitive the recuitment is at your campus, you are coming from a bit of a position of disadvantage because you are not a freshman anymore (i.e. it is in a sorority's best interest if their collegians can "give" to the chapter as a collegian over the entire 4 years of their collegiate career).

That being said, make sure that you have "all your bases" covered, such as making sure that you have the GPA that is required for pledging and eventual, initiation. If you can, try to obtain some recommendations from alumnae to groups on your campuses. This cannot hurt and surely might help.

I do have more to say, but I am drawing a blank for the time being...this is an excellent thread to refer to as well:
My Advice to Sorority Rushees.....
Please be sure to read it...it is chock full of information....

[aephi alum]

As I understand your post, you've never gone through formal recruitment at the school you currently attend - right? Yes, you've been cut heavily before, but those were (for the most part) different chapters at other schools.

I say go for it - otherwise you'll always wonder what might have been. BUT, be prepared to be cut heavily; your junior standing may work against you. Best case, you'll join a sorority you love; worst case, you're out some time and possibly a few dollars, but you'll still have met tons of people you might not have met otherwise.

Also, if it's service you're interested in, you might look into a service GLO. Just a thought.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[ADPiSAI]

as a two time transfer student who didn't find a GLO to call home until her fourth year (out of five), I say go for it! Maybe being a junior will affect you, maybe it won't... but there's one way to find out!
And so you've been cut before. You're at a different school with different groups filled with different girls. See what kind of bond you form with these girls! I think it's definitely worth taking the chance.

Good luck to you!

[sugar and spice]

Out of curiosity, does your sister's sorority have a chapter at your school? If so then you'd be considered a legacy to that sorority, which could help out your chances getting into that sorority quite a bit.

ok. so I took everyone's advice. I decided to go through with formal rush. I was getting excited until I found out that as an RA, I have required training during the last 3 rounds of rush (the first round was in November). Thus, I was not going to be able to go to most of the parties in January.
When I went to tell my Rho Gamma that I was going to drop out, she told me that since I paid the money, I might as well go to the November parties. So she rushed me back to my room to quickly dress and go. Out of the 19 houses, I really liked about 12 of them. Being a transfer and upperclassman student, I spent a lot of the parties talking about my personal experiences and campus involement. I emphaisized my RA experience as I thought it showed my leadership abilities, desired to improve myself, communication skills, program planning, and quest for good relationships.
I am still very nervous since, as mentioned above, I have not had luck participating in Recruitment activieties before. However, as I have a 3.75 Cum GPA, I am confident that if nothing else, they won't cut me for grades. I tried to be myself by dinstinguishing myself as a mature and involved person. Many houses said how "impressed" they were with me (in reference to my 3 majors, 3 minors, high GPA, campus involvement, and lots of hobbies); I hope that that does not mean they think that I will be too involved to be in a sorority. After the original 19 parties, there will be the 12 party round (which I will be missing for RA training). I am unsure if I may be able to attend the 6 party round (as they might let me out of the latter part of training). Anyone have any advice or anaysis? Thanks!

[Buttonz]

Talk to your Rho Gamma and find out! Hopefully you will be able to! Good luck...it seems that you are on your way to finding your home!

[honeychile]

Originally posted by Buttonz
Talk to your Rho Gamma and find out! Hopefully you will be able to! Good luck...it seems that you are on your way to finding your home!

Absolutely talk to your Rho Gamma! She has answers for your campus that we can only guess at!

Did you check the bit about possibly being a legacy? That would work well in your favor!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

This varies by campus, I'm sure, but on my campus, being an RA is right up there with being a cheerleader as the type of girl houses will fall all over. I don't want to give you false hope, because IU is different...my point is just to be sure that you get all the fact and see what your options are regardless.