Black Relationships -- The Bridge: Where The Black Men Are

[DELTABRAT]

Originally posted by Boom_Quack13
I have the issue and read the article. It is about the downlow brothas. Personally, I am tired of the topic. It has become so sensationalized. I understand the importance of the topic, but short of hiring a private investigator or stalking a man yourself, how will you really know if he is on the DL? Not to mention that sleeping with DL men is not the only way to contract HIV/AIDS. I had a gay friend when I was in my late teens/early twenties. He hipped us to the concept of DL brothas before it was a national topic. I was in awe at the time. He told us some of the same stories that we hear now: men on the DL infecting women, men coming from prison tuned out, and masculine men sleeping with other masculine men. All of those things contribute to the AIDS epidemic, but what about the fully heterosexual men who are sleeping around spreading AIDS? And what about the loose sistas who are contracting and spreading AIDS as well? I think that too much blame is being placed on a group of people who are already forced to practice their lifestyle on the fringes of society. Also, nobody mentions sistas on the DL. They exist also, and live just as deceptively as the men on the DL. Another thing that is overlooked is that Black men are not the only DL men. DL men come in all races. This proccupation with Black men on the DL also seems like another attempt to demasculate our brothas. I'm not saying that they don't exist or contribute to the AIDS problem. I'm just saying they are not the only factor, nor have they been proven to be the biggest factor. Okay, that's my $19.13 for that topic.

Soror, while your opinionis well respected, the truth is that the majority of HIV cases in heterosexual Black women are a result of men who sleep with me and women or MSMW/intravenous drug users, both of which are considered to offer relativeley the same amount of risk. There are risks for contracting or transmitting HIV through heterosexual sex, however, based on anatomy, it is not as likely. Also, regarding women who do not sleep with men, the prevalence of HIV is actually very low. Again, not that there isn't exchange of bodily fluids (including blood..sorry) but the relative risk is lower than say a lesbian woman who is also an injection drug user. In which case the needle use is her primary risk factor and not her sexual activity. I actually think it's impossible to "prove" that the rise in HIV is due to DL bros for this very reason. Only a woman who never had sex with anyone sle in her life, never shot up drugs, and her husband/man NEVER shot up drugs but was on the DL can say "it's definitely the DL-ness."

Truthfully, I am also tired of hearing the DL situation. When I saw that the article was about the DL, I was actually disappointed. The article was also not interesting. It was too "matter of fact" for me.

This also happens to be my life so forgive me if I seem like a know it all. I aspire/profess to be an HIV researcher so while I am tired of the DL in tems of my personal life, professionally, it's really a problem and a serious manifestation of a larger problem that needs to be addressed.

[MizTigger]

well all i have to say is...it depends on the definition of "NEED A MAN" of whether i do or don't. i love black men and hopefully a good one will find me and marry me. do i neccessarily need him for financial support? NO. but i would like him for emotional, spirtual, and physical support. i do not want to settle for being single all my life, but hey i have to wait my turn. it's in god's hands, not mine. i'm not a quitter

[AKA_Monet]

Apparently there is some group that s'pose to be hooking bruhs and sistahs up with each other in the SEA-TAC area...

I do think that distance is a problem with meeting quality folks. I would have never, ever met my husband if I attended any church in my old residence or stayed in my home town or didn't speak to some caucasian woman, lamenting about my loneliness and inability to meet nice guys... And to think that I almost said no to even sharing a couple of emails with him...

I think the issue with excellent powerhouse sistahs meeting excellent powerhouse men is that for the most part, African American men who are truly working hard, JUST DO THAT--to keep their DAYUM JOB--'cuz no matter how you slice it, brothaman does experience extreme racism--especially if he is in a powerful position... And let me tell you, "they" do bait a bruh with "fur coats and diamonds..." "They" really do not want him to be hookin' up with a powerhouse sistah that is equally trying to make it... That's too much for "them" to handle, right now...

As for powerhouse sistahs, we get out, participate in our community service projects, attend church--doing all the right things that one would think meeting quality bruhs... But I can tell you, bruhs that are truly doing something in their lives have work extremely hard to keep it that way... It is liken to a nerd. They hardly ever get out to see the light of day--until 'massa say it alright... And most of the time, it's doin' stuh that 'massa say he gotta do... Like go to the driving range at 2 PMish, 'cuz that is the only "tee-time" "they" will give a brothaman... Like REI--hiking--full on gear--seriously used...

If you want to meet a decent brothaman, go to your career-field, corporate seminar in a waaaaaayyyyy-offfff place--like Montana or Jackson Hole, Wyoming... You can, sometimes, find a few brothamen hanging out, unmarried...

HAYLE, if I did not take this class in Bar Harbor, Maine, I doubt I would have EVA known this wonderful human being existed, I now call my husband...