Why Rejected from a Sorority? - Page 3

KSUViolet06 · #31 09-24-2011, 06:32 PM

Here's a good read for you:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=Conversation

You've addressed a lot of "tangibles" that make someone desireable in recruitment. This thread touches on the topic of an important "intangible" --- Conversation.

Lots of times women will go down the "checklist" of tangible things like: "I had recs, am in 4 clubs, and had a 4.0. Why didn't I get a bid?" Those things are only a part of the process. A lot depends on how one comes across in conversation.

I obviously wasn't THERE to see how your conversations were during recruitment and I don't know why you didn't get a bid, but it is something to think about.

Libertylove · #32 09-24-2011, 06:40 PM

I was looking for honesty, we were actually asked to dress casually and comfortably so that is the only thing I would question but, I suppose that is the answer.

Libertylove · #33 09-24-2011, 06:41 PM

UGC is culturally based for us.

KSUViolet06 · #34 09-24-2011, 06:46 PM

Question: how can we be honest about something we know nothing about?

We don't know you. We don't know your school. We don't know the membership selection criteria for the chapters at your school. We weren't there.

I really am having a tough time understanding what it is that you're looking for people to tell you.

All we can do is offer some "maybes" but no one knows for certain.

KDCat · #35 09-24-2011, 07:56 PM

OP, we're not being coy. We don't know. We've never met you. We haven't seen your information. We didn't see you at rush. We weren't in any of the membership meetings where you were cut. Women get cut for a lot of reasons, and it's always specific to that woman. We don't know.

BTW, recs are references from sorority members or alumnae. They are required by some sororities. At some school, it is not possible to get a bid if you don't have them. The fact that you don't know what one is means that you didn't do even a basic amount of research or preparation before recruitment.

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.

greekdee · #36 09-24-2011, 07:59 PM

Libertylove -- as you know by now, we can't tell you why you got cut, but people have been generous in offering you possibilities. The thing is, you can drive yourself crazy trying to determine an answer.

As said, GPA and lack of recs are the two most common reasons someone is released (cut by everyone) early in the recruitment process. You have ruled out GPA with your 3.9, and if you're absolutely certain the sororities did not require recs, you can scratch that one off the list too. I will add, tho, some girls still secure recs even if they aren't required. They can't hurt, so just something to think about if you decide to go through formal recruitment again.

I still think sophomore standing might have worked against you. I know you said other girls pledged as sophomores and that may be the case -- but were they transfers like you? Many times (not always) girls who pledge as sophomores have campus involvement under their belts and have gotten to know some women in sororities. As a transfer student new to your campus, you did not have those things going for you.

If you still want to be in a sorority, my advice is to get out there -- get involved on campus, meet sorority women and show them why you would be a great asset to Greek Life.

P.S. I just saw what KDCat said about recs -- she has a good point about you not knowing what they were. ARE YOU SURE THEY WERE NOT NEEDED? They are at a lot of schools, not just the big SEC schools. I've done recs for girls rushing at schools that, like yours, had six or less sororities.

Libertylove · #37 09-24-2011, 11:09 PM

So those of you that are yelling at me and saying that there is no way you would know, I obviously know that so please stop, no need for that.

For those of you that have tried to help me and give me some idea of reasons why I would be rejected thank you, I appreciate your input and suggestions it has given me a better idea of what it takes.

All I was looking for people to tell me is an idea of maybe why girls haven't gotten into your own sororities, input like that to help someone like me out. I wasn't looking for anything else so please cool it. I gave my feedback of how different things probably wouldn't be the case, example my high GPA just to get more information on what else it could be. Some of you are being very obnoxious about this, if this forum is annoying you so much I really don't know why you are still posting to my question and frankly, I don't really want you to be.

Well after careful research, including calling the Greek Life office at my school it seems that we do not need recs. I am planning on attempting to rush again in the spring so maybe I'll learn more then.

thetalady · #38 09-24-2011, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

Well after careful research, including calling the Greek Life office at my school it seems that we do not need recs. I am planning on attempting to rush again in the spring so maybe I'll learn more then.

It has been said before, but all we can do is guess since we know nothing about your particular university... Regardless of what your Greek Life office may say, many sororities require letters of recommendation in order to offer a bid to a potential new member.

IrishLake · #39 09-24-2011, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

All I was looking for people to tell me is an idea of maybe why girls haven't gotten into your own sororities, input like that to help someone like me out.

We can't tell you this, as it membership selection, which is considered ritual and confidential to members only.

All we can say is we're sorry it didn't work out, and best of luck during spring informal! Get involved on your campus, makes friends with some sorority women, and hope for a better outcome in the future.

ASTalumna06 · #40 09-24-2011, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

All I was looking for people to tell me is an idea of maybe why girls haven't gotten into your own sororities, input like that to help someone like me out. I wasn't looking for anything else so please cool it. I gave my feedback of how different things probably wouldn't be the case, example my high GPA just to get more information on what else it could be. Some of you are being very obnoxious about this, if this forum is annoying you so much I really don't know why you are still posting to my question and frankly, I don't really want you to be.

The reason GCers were being "obnoxious" is because you were the one acting that way first. You didn't seem to understand the first time someone said so that WE CAN'T TELL YOU WHY YOU DIDN'T GET A BID. We can tell you that things like GPA, extra-curriculars, and conversation skills could be factors, but beyond that, we're done.

But you just kept going on and on and on looking for a reason, and getting frustrated when no one would give you one...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

So I attended the first day, loved it, couldn't wait to go back. Second Day, I got a phone call saying I did not get an invitation back to any of the sororities. My question is simple, why?
......
I am really confused and I just want an honest answer of why people think I got rejected from ALL of them. I'm really hurt and I am taking it to heart. If someone could give me an answer I'd love to know. I just want a good honest answer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

Well as much as I appreciate your apologies, that doesn't tell me anything and it leaves me just where I am. I have said it before, I want just an honest answer of why. If you feel more comfortable private messaging me that is understandable. I just want the truth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

I wasn't asking it to be fixed now was I?

Perhaps you could understand that (or maybe you didn't read thoroughly) that I got rejected from all five sororities on the first day of rushing, so I am just looking for some constructive criticism. I of course already understand that

1) You wouldn't know what the sororities, this is obvious
2) Other sororities are not allowed to talk about why they would reject me.

I am not moping, I am just wondering about reasons someone would be rejected from a sorority especially in my case when I got rejected to all five in one day.

Can anyone give me an idea on that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

From ALL five?

Let it go.

KSUViolet06 · #41 09-24-2011, 11:23 PM

Another good thread to read:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=121568

It's aimed at parents of PNMs but it talks about the "who you know" component of recruitment a little. It's geared toward the more competitive schools but there is some truth to it for other schools as well.

summer_gphib · #42 09-24-2011, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertylove

I wasn't asking it to be fixed now was I?

Perhaps you could understand that (or maybe you didn't read thoroughly) that I got rejected from all five sororities on the first day of rushing, so I am just looking for some constructive criticism. I of course already understand that

1) You wouldn't know what the sororities, this is obvious
2) Other sororities are not allowed to talk about why they would reject me.

I am not moping, I am just wondering about reasons someone would be rejected from a sorority especially in my case when I got rejected to all five in one day.

Can anyone give me an idea on that?

After reading this post, I would wonder if attitude had something to do with it? No one can tell you why you were rejected. Period. I know it's harsh, but it's reality. Did you do something egregious a few days before rush started? We don't know those things. So we don't know. Now go out and look for other things to do on campus, get involved in other ways.

Bamarox · #43 09-25-2011, 12:13 AM

It has been a long time since I was on your side of recruitment, but maybe I can help.

I don't know how competitive rush is at your school, but here goes:
Why girls are released:
1. Grades
2.References, I don't care what your campus said, most national sororities invite pnm's back for a second round if a reference has been written on their behalf. A reference is a letter of introduction from an alumnae who knows you. It is a formality, but at many schools PNMs are automatically released if they do not have one.
3. Did you know anyone in any of the houses? Girls with friends from home are naturally going to do better than a girl who knows no one in the chapter.
4. Upperclass Status, at some schools this puts you at a disadvantage.
5. Appearance, as shallow as this sounds it does matter. Just like a job interview, people make character judgements by the way you look. Especially,if they don't know you.
It sounds like the Greek system is relatively small at your school. I would look for other ways to be involved on campus. With your grades there are honoraries, service organizations, intramural sports, as well as, common interest groups. Find someone in student affairs who can help you find a good match.
Do not let a bad rush spoil your college experience.

agzg · #44 09-25-2011, 12:18 AM

You people are talking about recs like they're the be-all-end-all of recruitment.

There are schools that don't give a crap about recs. They exist. And they're not even freaking unicorns OR their slightly more common cousin, the warhol.

It seriously might not all be about recs. I don't think my chapter received a single rec when I was a collegian. I have to REMIND my peers to fill out Legacy Introduction Forms, because that's even close enough to a rec that people forget they exist.

The OP should talk to sorority members on her campus about how common recs are before going out and securing at least one, if not more than one (since we're harping on it so much) for each chapter that does informal recruitment. That would have scared the living shit out of a chapter like mine.

Like, if they know what a rec is, go ahead and get one. If they don't, don't even bother.

violetpretty · #45 09-25-2011, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bamarox

2.References, I don't care what your campus said, most national sororities invite pnm's back for a second round if a reference has been written on their behalf.

Not true. PNMs get released by chapters for which they have recs ALL THE TIME.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bamarox

It is a formality, but at many schools PNMs are automatically released if they do not have one.

While this may be true, I don't get the sense that the OP's school is Bama-competitive. I know a woman who went through recruitment at South Carolina last year and she had recs to 8 of 10 chapters, BUT she was invited to those two chapters for which she did not have a rec for round 3. And those two chapters are considered "middle tier" chapters.